Archives for category: Humor
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Two Brits Pranked Tucker Carlson about Kate Middleton Photo

By dianeravitch
March 20, 2024 //
4

Two Brits have a website called Josh & Archie. Being audacious pranksters, they hatched a scheme to trick Tucker Carlson. One sent Carlson’s office an email claiming that he was the employee of the Royal family who doctored the photo of Kate Middleton and her three children. He said he was fired.

He soon heard from the booker for the Tucker Carlson show, who asked for the original photo and proof that he worked for the Royal family.

Josh and Archie created a document proving that he worked for the Royals. It had a fake Latin motto that happened to be the motto of a supermarket chain. And his employment contract included a clause saying that if his work was unsatisfactory, he agreed that one of his limbs would be amputated.

Apparently no one scrutinized his evidence with care, and he scored an interview with Tucker Carlson. Carlson was delighted with the interview.

But before it aired, Josh and Archie went public. They said they didn’t want to cause any further trouble for the Royals.

Categories Humor

RBG Award Goes to Odd List, Including Musk and Murdoch!

By dianeravitch
March 14, 2024 //
25

When I learned about this list of honorees, I thought it was a joke. It’s not.

An award named for Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, an icon of liberalism and feminism, will be presented to a surprising list of men and women by the Opperman Foundation at the Library of Congress.

The Hill posted this story:

A prestigious honor named after liberal Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and originally established to recognize “women of distinction” is being awarded this year to a surprising group of multiple genders that includes Rupert Murdoch, Elon Musk and Martha Stewart, among others.

The Ruth Bader Ginsburg Leadership Award, also known as the RBG Award, will be presented by the Dwight D. Opperman Foundation at an April 13 gala at the Library of Congress, ITK can reveal.

In addition to conservative media mogul Murdoch, Tesla CEO and X owner Musk, and lifestyle guru Stewart, the award will be given to actor Sylvester Stallone and financier Michael Milken.

First established in 2020 as a recognition solely for women, previous recipients of the RBG Award have included Queen Elizabeth II, singer Barbra Streisand and fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg.

But this year, organizers expanded the award named after the liberal leader of the Supreme Court to include “trailblazing men and women” who “have demonstrated extraordinary accomplishments in their chosen fields.”

Dwight D. Opperman Foundation chair Julie Opperman said in a statement that Ginsburg “fought not only for women but for everyone.”

The Supreme Court justice, a champion of women’s rights, died in 2020 at 87.

“Going forward, to embrace the fullness of Justice Ginsburg’s legacy, we honor both women and men who have changed the world by doing what they do best,” Opperman said.

Who are Murdoch and Musk “fighting for”?

Categories Civil Rights, Democracy, Humor, Hypocrisy, Ignorance

Lincoln Project: What Fred Trump Thinks of Donald

By dianeravitch
February 29, 2024 //
16

The Lincoln Project, a group of anti-Trump Republicans, create videos intended to get into Trump’s head. This is one of their best.

Categories Elections, Humor, Shame, Trump

Alexandra Petri: Congratulations! That Cluster of Cells is a child!

By dianeravitch
February 23, 2024 //
38

Alexandra Petri is a humorist for The Washington Post. She wrote today about the crazy decision by the Alabama Supreme Court that a frozen embryo (a fertilized egg) is a child. Destroying the frozen embryo is murder.

She begins:

Having kids is nothing like they tell you it will be! How tiny they are, and how you can hardly see them without a microscope. How you can’t hold them, not even once. How they don’t have anything that could be regarded, even optimistically, as a laugh, or a face. Isn’t being a parent the best? Isn’t it laughably cruel that the Alabama Supreme Court says that this is already a child? That this cluster of hopeful cells that you have been dreaming could become a baby is actually a person already? You would be laughing, if you could stop crying.

What an appallingly cruel thing to say to people already going through so much to have a child, people who were prepared to endure the grueling in vitro fertilization process of treatments and injections and embryo development before their pregnancy could even begin. What a ridiculous thing to say to anyone with a modicum of sense.

Don’t believe the evidence of your senses. Embryos are children. Flour is cake. These acorns are an old-growth forest. This half-baked insulting nonsense of a ruling is justice.

You know what they always say about people: They are invisible to the naked eye and can be stored conveniently in vials in a hospital freezer. They are discernible only to God and the Alabama judiciary. You don’t need to feed them, ever. They don’t need books. They don’t need clean water or fresh air or sunshine — in fact, they couldn’t survive a minute outside the glass dish.

How did the Alabama judges know? God told them.

Trump came out against the Alabama decision, and most Republicans are rapidly backtracking. They say they want motmre children to be born, and IVF is good. Now that Trump has given his blessing to IVF, watch the Republicans pivot. only poor Nikki Haley is left out in the cold, because her snap reaction was to praise the decision.

Categories Alabama, Childhood, Humor, Religion, Science

Bill Maher Explains Why “From the River to the Sea” is an Obstacle to Peace in the Middle East

By dianeravitch
January 31, 2024 //
26

On this blog, I have been consistent about my views on the war in the Middle East. I want peace between Israelis and Arabs. I want an end to the war. I deplored the atrocities of October 7. I understand Israelis’ desire for vengeance but I thought the invasion of Gaza was a horrible idea. It was certain to cause massive death and destruction, and it has. I wrote a post calling Netanyahu a “maniac” for launching a counter-offensive that turns Israel into an international pariah while destroying the lives of thousands of innocent people. I oppose the human and physical devastation that Israel has inflicted on Gaza, and I oppose Hamas’ irredentist fantasy of eliminating Israel.

I long for the day when Palestinian leaders accept the reality of Israel and agree to make peace and share the benefits of peace. I want a two-state solution. But Hamas’ leaders have predicted that the horrors of October 7 will happen again and again. Hamas has never accepted Israel’s right to exist, and that position guarantees perpetual war. This is not the road to negotiations or peace.

Peace is impossible until wiser heads prevail in the Arab and Muslim world and agree that Israel is a reality and will not go away. Never. Once they do that, negotiations are possible. Peace is possible. A shared future of prosperity is possible.

“From the river to the sea” presumes that Israel will disappear. That won’t happen. “From the river to the sea” should imply two states—a Jewish state and a Palestinian state. That’s the only way to break the cycle of unending war. Not by conquest. Not by killing. But by negotiations.

Bill Maher says as much in this monologue.

Categories Humor, International

Bob Shepherd: A Commemoration of Trump

By dianeravitch
January 13, 2024 //
55

Bob Shepherd is well known to readers of this blog. He is a polymath who writes, edits, comments, and is a true lifelong learner. He has been in the educational publishing business, has written articles and books and assessment. And he retired as a classroom teacher in Florida. He’s the best thing these days about the Sunshine State.

He wrote on his blog:

My way of saying, “Thank you, Mr. President.”

Trump, of course, has added a number of new words to our language: unpresidented, syllabolic, covfefe, bigly(his New York mafiosi thug pronunciation of big league). But I don’t think those new terms, rich as they are, sufficiently celebrate the man we’ve come to know. (I’m using the term man loosely, of course.) So, I’m offering these suggested usages in hopes of seeing them widely adopted going forward:

And wow, she was apetrump mad!
Are you trumping me?
Don’t trump where you eat.
He doesn’t know diddlytrump.
He showed up totally trumpfaced.
He was spouting a trumpload of nonsense.
He’s just trying to stir up some trump.
Holy trump!!!
I practically trumped myself!
I really don’t give a trump. Do you?
I trump you not.
I warn you, don’t get on my trump list.
I’m getting too old for this trump.
I’m telling you: He’s battrump crazy.
Keep this trump up and you’re fired.
Looks like we’re up trump creek without a paddle.
No trump?!
Oh, man, you’ve really trumped the bed.
Oh, you’re going to catch trump now!
Same trump, different day.
Seriously, cut the trump, man!
That’s like pushing trump uphill with a pity stick.
No, don’t travel to the US right now; it’s a trumphole country where Covid is rampant.
Then the trump hit the fan.
Trump happens.
Two can sling trump, you know.
Well, THAT was a dumbtrump thing to say!
Well, you’re trump out of luck this time.
What a pile (or bunch or crock or piece) of trump (or horsetrump or dogtrump)!
Yeah, he has trump for brains.
Yikes! What a trumpshower!
You are so full of trump.
You won’t believe the trump he’s been up to.
You’re gonna have to eat that trump sandwich yourself.
You’re too chickentrump to try it.
You’re trump outta luck.
And, just for fun,
He was all over me like a fly on pence.

NB: This post was inspired by my dear mother, who for years now hasn’t used Trump’s name but, instead, just refers to him with a POS emoji.

For more on Don the Con (aka IQ45 or Moscow’s Asset Governing America [MAGA]), go here: https://bobshepherdonline.wordpress.com/category/trump-don-the-con/

Categories Humor, Language, Trump

John Oliver: What You Need to Know About Homeschooling

By dianeravitch
November 9, 2023 //
3

John Oliver is a brilliant, intelligent comedian who is known for his sharp commentaries on current events. From 2006 to 2013, he was a writer for Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show.

His analysis of the charter school industry was viewed by millions of people.

This new take on homeschooling is worth your time.

Categories Home Schooling, Humor

Houston: Rice University Marching Band Parodies Mike Miles in Half-Time Show

By dianeravitch
September 18, 2023 //
10

Doggone it, I love this generation of kids that’s entering adulthood. They care about the environment, they don’t like to see the strong picking on the weak, they protest on behalf of just causes.

Latest example: the Rice University marching band parodied State-imposed Superintendent Mike Miles in the half-time show, and they portrayed him as Dr. Evil. They picked up on all Miles’ gaffes, from turning libraries into discipline centers to staging a musical production starting himself to belittling teachers.

Megan Menchacha of the Houston Chronicle writes:

Rice University’s marching band mocked state-appointed Houston ISD Superintendent Mike Miles during their halftime show at Saturday’s football game against Texas Southern University.

The small band, known as The Mob, performed a brief “Austin Powers”-themed show characterizing Miles as Dr. Evil — the main antagonist of the popular movie series. The show criticizes Miles’ removal of librarians at around 85 HISD schools and his song-and-dance skit during the district’s annual convocation ceremony.

“Ever since taking over the Houston school board, Dr. Evil has been working on his plan to brainwash his new army of mini-me’s,” the student announcer says to begin the show. “Watch as he fires the teachers and principals to institute total control.”

HISD hasn’t yet responded to a request for comment on the performance. Over the weekend, Miles posted on Linkedin: “There is so much misinformation that it would be hard for even serious people to know what is going on in the Houston school district.”

Ethan Goore, a co-executive producer of the show, said The Mob aims to use their platform to try and address injustices in society through their performances. He said the band chose an “Austin Powers” theme partially because Miles’ name sounds similar to Mike Myers, the actor who plays Dr. Evil in the movie series.

“We’ve been hearing a lot from teachers that we know and parents who have kids in the HISD system that they are not completely satisfied with what’s going on currently, and that they wanted there to be more awareness about the issue,” said Goore, a junior at Rice. “That’s really where we jump in, and the way that we do it is through our halftime shows.”

The show, titled “Mob-stin Powers: The Superintendent Who Fired Me,” opens with students forming an “H” on the field and playing “Evil Ways.” One band member, playing Miles, lightly bonks another band member on the head with a screw-shaped sign saying “Fired” and the student falls on the field.

The next segment of the show references Miles’ move to remove school librarians and repurpose libraries into “Team Centers, where students at 85 New Education System and NES-aligned HISD schools are sent if they’ve mastered certain lessons or if they misbehave.

“I always thought of libraries as a pretty important part of my schooling, so when I found out about new policies on libraries and what Mike Miles has been doing about them, I thought that would be an important part to put in their show just because of how shocking it is,” Goore said.

Categories Accountability, Houston, Humor, State Takeover

Dana Milbank: Biden Faulted by GOP for Liking Dogs and Ice Cream

By dianeravitch
September 15, 2023 //
34

Republicans have spent the past four years portraying Joe Biden as a senile fool, a bumbling idiot, giving him no credit for his legislative achievements. They boast about the infrastructure projects in their districts, but never mention that they voted against the legislation that funded the projects.

Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank wrote recently that Republicans have found new reasons to ridicule Biden: he pets dogs and he likes ice cream. Shocking!

Milbank writes:

White House spokesman Andrew Bates is a happy warrior. For years, he has spiritedly fended off whatever calumny Republicans alleged at the moment, whether about President Biden’s age or Hunter Biden’s laptop or some imaginary scheme to take away Americans’ hamburgers or, most recently, their beer.

But Bates has found that he cannot in good conscience defend the man he serves against a deeply troubling new charge that the Republican National Committee has leveled at him. “I’m just coming to grips with the fact that I work for a dog-petting monster,” he told me.

It’s true. A couple of weeks ago, when Biden was touring the devastation in Maui, Hawaii, he encountered a golden lab named Dexter who was assisting with the grim search. He noted that Dexter was wearing booties to protect his paws from the scorching earth, and — Outrageously! Unforgivably! — Biden leaned over and petted Dexter on the top of his head.

The RNC swung into action. “Biden gets distracted by a dog: ‘That’s some hot ground, man!’” the GOP tweeted (or whatever one does now that Elon Musk has wrecked the platform) from its @RNCResearch account. It appended video of the offense.

This was not the first time the RNC caught the president in a scandalous act of canine affection. “Biden gets distracted by his dog on the balcony as he returns from Japan,” the RNC tweeted in May. The month before, @RNCResearch mocked Biden for answering “a child’s question about his dog” and for attempting to greet the Irish leader’s Bernese mountain dog (the animal barked at the president). “This dog wants nothing to do with Joe Biden,” the RNC tweeted.

Offensive though it is that Biden likes dogs, the RNC has exposed him for worse: enjoying ice cream. @RNCResearch has gone after him no fewer than 12 times for this deplorable behavior, tweeting out indefensible things Biden has said on the topic, such as “I know some really great ice cream places around here” and (parental discretion advised) “I got a whole full freezer full of Jeni’s chocolate chip ice cream.”

Impeach!

The GOP’s goal, of course, is to portray Biden as doddering and feebleminded. “Was Biden dozing off in Maui?” @RNCResearch tweeted with video that did not, in fact, show Biden dozing. “Biden looks confused as he heads back to his vehicle,” it tweeted in late August. “BIDEN: *stares blankly*,” it tweeted a few days later, after he ignored questions from a Fox News reporter. “BIDEN (very confused): ‘Who am I yielding to?’ ” @RNCResearch tweeted after the president inquired about the speaking order at a news conference with foreign leaders….

The RNC, which has defended Donald Trump’s lies that led to a violent attempt to overturn the 2020 election, has repeatedly faulted “SERIAL LIAR” Biden for exaggerating the damage done by a fire in his home decades ago. The accuracy standard of @RNCResearch’s attacks is little higher than the former president’s. It spread false storiesabout an unseen White House official silencing Biden with a mute button, about a bird pooping on Biden, about Biden making an antisemitic remark and about Biden being disoriented.

“Did Joe Biden just announce he has cancer?” the RNC ridiculed one day, apparently unaware that Biden has had various non-melanoma skin cancers removed.

“Joe Biden says the length of Barack Obama’s signature is shorter than his. Obama’s is 3 letters longer,” the RNC mocked on another day, clearly unaware that Biden signs his name “Joseph R. Biden Jr.”

There is nothing Biden does that will escape the ridicule of the RNC.

But what could be worse than petting dogs and liking ice cream?

Categories Biden, Elections, Humor, Republicans, Stupid

The Onion: “Dads for America” Join to Harass Your Child’s Favorite Teacher

By dianeravitch
September 14, 2023 //
7

The Onion parodies the news of the day.

In this one, they describe a Looney Tunes group called Dads for America, which tried to run down a teacher for being “woke.”

TERRE HAUTE, IN—Screaming incoherently about transgender girls in sports and the need to teach children cursive so they can learn to read the Constitution, some group called Dads for America is currently trying to run over your kid’s teacher with a car, sources confirmed Thursday. The group of local fathers, who reportedly met on Reddit last week, were seen piling into a vehicle, steering it toward the front doors of an elementary school, and flooring it when they saw Ms. Landers, your child’s beloved fifth-grade teacher.

Open the link and read the rest.

Categories Humor
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