Humorist Andy Borowitz praises Donald Trump for his tribute to the Unknown Podiatrist.

QUEENS, NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In what has become a Memorial Day tradition for him, on Monday Donald J. Trump laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Podiatrist.  

Trump made his annual pilgrimage to pay homage to the heroic doctors who issued bogus diagnoses to ensure that their privileged patients never answered the call of duty. 

In an emotional tribute, Trump thanked the fallen foot specialists who bravely risked their medical licenses so that others facing military service could be free. 

Choking back tears, he said, “They gave everything so people like me could give nothing.”

Actually, Trump’s podiatrist is not unknown.

The New York Times published an article in 2018 stating that the daughters of the Trump podiatrist claimed that their father, Dr. Larry Braunstein, had given Trump the bone spur diagnosis to help him evade the draft. It was a favor to his landlord, Fred Trump, Donald’s father.

The podiatrist, Dr. Larry Braunstein, died in 2007. But his daughters say their father often told the story of coming to the aid of a young Mr. Trump during the Vietnam War as a favor to his father.