John Thompson, a teacher and historian in Oklahoma, has a news flash!

 

The massive Oklahoma Teacher Walkout and Capitol Rally is scheduled for 10:30am Monday, but due to a last minute settlement, it will now be a victory lap. Thousands of teachers will still be coming from across the state. However, an agreement reached during a couple of secret meetings at the Devon Energy Tower and the Chesapeake Energy Corporation headquarters will transform what had been a black eye for Oklahoma in terms of national press coverage. The state’s international reputation will now be an asset for economic development. The rally has been rebranded as Disruptive Innovation: Okie Style.

No new funding was authorized Saturday night, but a spokesman for oil tycoon Harold Hamm announced a package of reforms, prescribed by the Broad and Walton foundations and Silicon Valley partnerships, that will raise $1 billion per year for cradle to career education. The early education and pre-k to 12 component will be funded through a Pay for Performance bond issue. Education providers will be compensated for the increases in measurable outcomes that they produce. School supplies with bargain basement prices will be purchased through a Walmart/Amazon/GoFundMe collaboration.

Similar saving for higher education will result from a Facebook/Cambridge Analytica personalized learning initiative. Tenure for university professors will no longer be an expensive method for protecting academic freedom because lessons will be fact checked by the Republican National Committee and the Heritage Foundation.

Some may wonder why state employees have maintained such a low profile during the budget crisis, but that is because they will benefit from a venture philanthropy innovation financed by ALEC, and that is the way they roll. It will be a win-win breakthrough. Oklahoma will be the first state to completely privatize its health, welfare, criminal justice, and law enforcement functions. Employees can expect a doubling of take home pay through performance incentives.

Even better, choice will rule. Institutions can sign up for meeting the outcomes that they choose. For instance, prisons can commit to either reducing inmate population and recidivism, or increasing prison population within the same units and budgets, as long as gains are properly documented. Social and health care workers can choose to either improve prenatal care and offer holistic multi-generational, holistic, state-of-the-art services in an aligned manner, or they can coordinate with others to make the cradle to prison pipeline flow more efficiently.

Please keep in mind that pizza, tee shirts, and other swag will be provided to teachers by the EPIC Charter CMO. The hope is that former Sen. Tom Coburn, who returned to the Capitol last week to campaign against taxes, will return as a volunteer handing out the goodies. The best view of the extravaganza will be at the overflow sites for the thousands of rally participants seeking to avoid the traffic. All downtown hotels that receive Tax Incentive Financing (TIF) subsidies will offer free viewing spaces. The most prestigious venue, the Scott Pruitt wing of 21c Museum Hotel in Film Row, will likely require early registration.

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY!

Good luck to Oklahoma teachers!