Archives for category: Humor
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The Danielson Rubric for a Highly Effective Thanksgiving! Laugh Out Loud!

By dianeravitch
November 26, 2015 //
1

Hope I am not too late in posting this wonderful piece, which appears on NYC teacher Arthur Goldstein’s blog NYC Educator.

 

Arthur says the writer of this send-up is anonymous. Credit to him for posting it on this day.

 

It begins like this:

 

Ineffective: You don’t know how to cook a turkey. You serve a chicken instead. Half your family doesn’t show because they are unmotivated by your invitation, which was issued at the last minute via facebook. The other half turn on the football game and fall asleep. Your aunt tells your uncle where to stick the drumstick and a brawl erupts. Food is served on paper plates in front of the TV. You watch the game, and root for the Redskins.

 

 

Categories Education Reform, Humor

Thankful For: Humor

By dianeravitch
November 26, 2015 //
9

A time to laugh and celebrate that the dumb policies of No Child Left Behind and Race to the Top are widely recognized as failures and will soon go into the dustbin of history, where they belong. To make a better world for children and educators, the fight goes on, to replace poor leaders and failed policies, to save public education from privatization, and to make real the elusive promise of equality of educational opportunity: for all, not some.

 

 

nclb_cartoon

Categories Education Reform, Humor, NCLB (No Child Left Behind), Race to the Top

A Hilarious Satire of the Battle Against Parents Who Opt Out

By dianeravitch
November 22, 2015 //
19

This is one of the best parodies ever, using an all-purpose clip that has served many parodists in the past.

I have seen this clip used at least half a dozen times to ridicule education scams and frauds.

In this case, the clip parodies the New York State Education Department, determined to shove Common Core standards and tests down the throats of the state’s children and furious that parents are opting out.

This will give you a good laugh!

Categories Humor, New York, Opt Out, Parents

Our Blog Poet on the Subject of Economists

By dianeravitch
October 11, 2015 //
11

SomeDam Poet writes poems—some might say doggerel—almost daily. They are consistently witty and wise.

Here are his/her thoughts on economists (with apologies to the great economists who understand that the classroom is not a factory or a field and that children are not units of production or widgets):

“Economists are like psychics”

Economists are like psychics,
This cannot be denied.
Cuz if, by chance, they get it right,
It’s greatly AMPLIFIED!!

But mostly, they just get it wrong,
And utter not a word
For them to actually point this out
Would really be unheard.

And when their goof’s so blatant
They really can’t ignore it,
They simply claim they “found a flaw”
And “makeup will restore it”

And another:

“What if?”

What if false were true?
What if night were day?
What if economists knew
About the things they say?

Categories Humor

You Will Laugh Until You Cry: Lip-Reading GOP Debate

By dianeravitch
August 23, 2015 //
4

This is a hilarious video.

It is a “bad lip-reading” of the Republican debate on Fox News.

I don’t know who makes these videos; they are clever and amazing. This one has been viewed more than 5 million times.

If you want to learn a bit more about the “Bad Lip Reader,” here is an interview just published in the New York Times.

Enjoy! You need a laugh today.

Categories Humor, Republicans

The Onion: State Sets High Goal for Teachers

By dianeravitch
August 18, 2015 //
8

The Onion is the best journal in the nation on the subject of education. With tongue in cheek, they see through the fraud of corporate reform.

In this article, the Onion reports that the Illinois State Department of Education set a new goal for teachers:

“In an effort to hold classroom instructors more accountable, the Illinois State Board of Education unveiled new statewide education standards Friday that require public school teachers to forever change the lives of at least 30 percent of their students. “Under our updated educator evaluation policy, teachers must make an unforgettable, lifelong impact on at least three of every 10 students and instill a love of learning in them that lasts the rest of their lives,” said chairman James Meeks, adding that based on the annual assessments, if 30 percent of students don’t recall a particular teacher’s name when asked to identify the most influential and inspiring person in their lives, that instructor would be promptly dismissed.”

Even better, teachers will be held accountable if more than 40% end up in prison.

Guess the Onion has been reading Raj Chetty.

Categories Humor, Teachers

Andy Borowitz: Amazon Announces that Employees Who Lack Empathy Will Be Instantly Purged

By dianeravitch
August 17, 2015 //
20

Andy Borowitz is a humorist. He writes a daily joke for The New Yorker. He usually ties it to the daily news. That means that this post is a satire.

Just a warning.

SEATTLE (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that he was “horrified” by a New York Times article recounting callous behavior on the part of Amazon executives, company founder Jeff Bezos warned today that any employees found lacking in empathy would be instantly purged.

In an e-mail to all Amazon employees issued late Sunday evening, Bezos said that the company would begin grading its workers on empathy, and that the ten per cent found to be least empathic would be “immediately culled from the herd.”

To achieve this goal, Amazon said that it would introduce a new internal reporting system called EmpathyTrack, which will enable employees to secretly report on their colleagues’ lack of humanity.

The system will allow Amazon employees to grade their co-workers on a scale from a hundred (nicest) to zero (pure evil), resulting in empathy-based data that will be transmitted directly to Bezos.

Employees lacking in empathy will be immediately terminated.

Categories Humor

Cathy Sproul Sells Livewire, the Ultimate Teacher Accountability Tool

By dianeravitch
August 6, 2015 //
14

Cathy Sproul has created a video demonstrating a new and highly effective way of keeping teachers on script at all times and making them exceedingly accountable.

 

It is perfectly aligned to the Common Core standards, and it never fails to work.

 

It is also eerily reminiscent of the Gates Foundation’s hilarious (but real) investment in Galvanic Response Skin Monitor bracelets, to monitor students’ level of interest and engagement, thus providing yet another way to evaluate teacher effectiveness.

(See here and here and here.)

Categories Humor

A Report from Parody Central

By dianeravitch
July 11, 2015 //
7

A reader called NY Teacher sent the following comment:

“Welcome to Parody Central. They almost make this too easy.

“My apologies to Mr. Zimmerman:

“Must Be Bubbled-In” (Blowin in the Wind)

How many tests must a child withstand
Before we can kill this scam?
How many years will we need to resist?
With so many heads in the sand?
Yes, how many tests must our children endure?
Before test-and-punish is banned?
Right answers my friend, must be bubbled-in
Right answers again and again.

Yes, how many years can Arne still test?
Before he ends up like Rhee?
Yes, how many years can he still insist?
Before even Bill disagrees?
Yes, how many times can Congress turn its head?
Pretending they just cannot see?
Right answers my friend, must be bubbled-in
Right answers again and again.

Yes, how many tests must a child still take?
Before we really know why?
Yes, how many doubts must one nation have?
Before we can hear children cry?
Yes, how many fails will it take till we know
That too many people have lied?
Right answers my friend, must be bubbled-in
Right answers again and again

And if you’re a Paul Simon fan:

When we look back at
All the crap they taught in pre-school
It’s a wonder
Kids can think at all
This lack of rigor in education
Has hurt them some
Why can’t they close-read the writing on the wall

Common – Core- ore-ore
It ‘em gives questions full rigor
Marches to just one drummer
Makes them know all the world’s a gritty day
I got a Coleman standard
Love to give a Pearson test
So Ravitch don’t take our Common Core away
So Ravitch don’t take our Common Core away
So Ravitch don’t take our Common Core away
If you took all the teachers we knew
Back in high school
And brought them all together for one night
We know they’d couldn’t match
Arne’s weak imagination
Everything looks worse in black and white

A little Neil?

The Testing and the Damage Done

We caught you knockin’
at our classroom doors
You test our babies,
with your Common Core
Ooh, ooh, the damage done.

You hit the cities
all across the land
We watched you testing
with your voodoo VAM
Wrong, wrong, the damage done.

We sing the song
because we hate your plan
We know that none
of you can understand
W h y k i d s
keep on, op-ting out.

I’ve seen the testing
and the damage done
We want no part of it for anyone
But now reform is
like a settin’ sun.”

Categories Corporate Reform, Humor

Our Unstoppable Blog Poet: A Paean to Reformers

By dianeravitch
July 4, 2015 //
21

Our blog poet, who signs as SomeDam Poet, contributed these words of wisdom:

 

Hail Arne
Full of Gates
The Core is with thee
Mes-sed art thou among Reformers
And mes-sed is the fruit of thy room, RTTT

 

Our Coleman
Who aren’t an educator
Hollow be they claim
Thy King-dom come,
Thy will be dumb,
In NY as it is in Washington
Spare us this Core our daily bore,
and forgive us our testpasses,
as we forgive those who testpass in charters ;
and lead us not into DAM nation,
but deliver us from Common Core.

 

Amen

Categories Coleman, David, Common Core, Corporate Reformers, Duncan, Arne, Gates Foundation, Bill Gates, Humor
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