Arnold Hillman is a retired educator who spent his career in Pennsylvania and retired in South Carolina. Bear this in mind when you read his satire. Must be the SC water.
The decline of both reading and math scores on the NAEP national test is a harbinger of a predictive outpouring of solutions to the problem. That has been the standard for the last 100 years of public education. We typically find panaceas to “fix” problems in education.
Here is a very simple one. Until the beginning of the 20th century, education was rather simple- teach reading, writing and arithmetic. On the side you might provide vocational programs. However World War I provided us with a look into the future.
Many of the conscripts in the American army were seen not to be physically fit. That was a danger in a war. There was no part of the constitution that mentions education. The idea of a healthy mind and healthy body was promulgated by none other than John Dewey. World War I was an instigator, and schools took up the mantle.
That’s how things change in education. The nation needed more scientists to combat Russia’s preeminence in space and so Congress passed the National Defense Education Act (NDEA). I know that you are getting the idea now. If you live long enough, you will see even more of these things.
Now, how will the decline in these scores be cured by those with the money to do it. Seems like administrations these days are not in the business of fixing education. You can tell by all ofthe news about investigations, indictments, Russian problems and all sort of other adjuncts to those happenings. So then, who or what will come through to help us climb out of this educational abyss?
Lets try this on for size. How about the Broad Foundation. Let’s give them leave to train all of the school superintendents in the nation. That’s only 13,452 school district superintendents. With all of the resources available to the foundation, this could be accomplished in the wink of an eye (see the movie “I Robot” for a reference).All problems of reading and math will follow the same successes that the Broadies have had in all of the places where they have been installed as superintendents. That’s for sure.
Let then have the voucher folks come up with the plan to take over public schools and do their level best to cherry pick the students that they will help. There will certainly be some unintended consequences, such as massive dropouts, higher crime rates, more unemployment and many other charming things.
These voucher folks have a way with statistics. In their first year of operation, math and reading scores will soar. All students will be on grade level in reading and all of them will be up to fractal geometry, after surpassing the highest scores ever on the NAEP test.
Another challenger will be the charter school folks. All schools could be “charterized” and escape from the silly laws that restrict public schools in their education of kids. Since charters do not have to have all certified teachers, that will be a great advantage. We can then dismiss those pesky teachers who have not been doing a good job anyway.
There would not be any responsibility for those charters to have any parental involvement. Parents or guardians will only know what is going on when their child gets a report card.
Huge management companies will continue to “buy up” these charters and run them for profit. The movement to make these charters non-public has already happened in the Washington state Supreme Court. It has decided that Charter Schools were not, in fact, public schools.
Think of all the improvements that charter schools have made across the country since their inception in Minnesota. We can have a myriad of online charter schools which will definitely improve reading and math scores, especially in kindergarten.
We are fortunate to have a parents group that is very interested in improving education by going onto the nation’s school boards and making things so much better when they are there. Incompetent administrators are fired by the dozens and reading and math scores have already risen as a result of these actions.
The premiere group is called “ Moms for Liberty.” Not sure why there are no Dads included. There must be a Title IX reason. These folks have the kind of enviable clout that gets these students on their way to improving their math and reading scores.
With “Moms for Liberty” in charge, schools will have the advantage of being close to those who lead our country. They are proud to have national figures, some even running for President, who will make sure the schools are doing the right thing.
Then we have a group that includes some very wealthy folks. Some of them are anonymously giving funding and directions to those who were described earlier. They are famously supporters of vouchers, privatization of public schools, charters and the like. They support parent groups like “Moms for Liberty.” Their aims are certainly to help students improve their reading and math scores. We will call them, for better or worse, “ The Billionaire Class.”
With all of these folks helping out, how long do you believe it will take for our youngster’s math and reading scores to soar?

Satire passes for serious policy in some circles. Quotations for that word, serious.
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School
Reform for the past two decades has been satire. No one at the top knew what they were doing.
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And practically none of the adminimals or teachers had/have the cojones to do the just and ethical thing. . . that is to not implement educational malpractices. The bad thing is that they knew/othat they were implementing malpractices.
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Duane: many of the second level admins. I knew bought into the test and punish completely. They believed that crap. I know this because I had conversations with them. Numbers don’t lie. Suck it up. Get with reality. They were not just going along, they were buying in. There were some, usually at the level just above the teacher, who would privately tell you they really did not believe all that stuff, but were willing to “fight Through it” for the sake of the kids. But the farther up the ladder, the more they believed the claptrap.
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If we really want to get serious about much needed reform, we would restore our tax rates to the Eisenhower rates when the ultra-wealthy paid 90%. Scores will improve when wealth is redistributed and the bottom socioeconomic tiers get paid a living wage in secure jobs that include benefits, when their children have access to affordable health care, and their schools are well resourced, maintained and staffed by professional teachers. Then, we might actually be able to improve useless test scores. The problem is politicians are too busy collecting campaign donations and caving into hairbrained commodification of education schemes to notice their repeated failures.
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“Then, we might actually be able to improve useless test scores.”
Sure makes sense, eh!
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The premiere group is called “ Moms for Liberty.” Not sure why there are no Dads included.
Duh. They were cleaning the guns and sorting the ammo by expiry date! OF COURSE!
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These was the jobs that God gave Adam and Eve. The men keep the guns up, and the girls (their wives) see about the raising up of the children.
As intended.
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Moms For Liberty is like Democrats For Education Reform. These entities are business interests marketing themselves as their natural opposition in order to infiltrate and influence us. Hedge fund managing billionaires are not Democrats, and they are not for reform. Tycoons are not moms, and the only liberty they’re for is their own. What they’re doing would be akin to one of us hiring a student to start an action campaign group called Students For Leaving Fresh, Organic, Polished Apples On Teachers’ Desks. Forthright honesty eludes the effete elite, the degenerate leisure class.
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Wait a minute, I gave a bad example. I like apples. And students. If I were really like a billionaire, I would hire a billionaire to start an action campaign group called Greatest Ever Pure Genius Self-Made Business Magnates And Interplanetary Masters Of The Universe For Paying Eisenhower Era Taxes And Restoring Social Safety and Welfare.
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Beautifully said, LCT!
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If we really want to get serious
about much needed reform…
Do the retired overseers, NOW
have the “agency” to undo, what
happened under their watch?
Is the “cure” another matter
of divining minds?
(We just know what they think,
why they do what they do…)
Is the “cure” a matter of
precognition?
(If we coulda/woulda/shoulda,
the cards will fall into place.)
My Rhetorical question mark
key doesn’t work…
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Supporters of vouchers, privatization of public schools = state Catholic Conferences
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If the title didn’t include “satire,” who would have known?
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How to reform NAEP scores”?
Haven’t NAEP scores already been “reformed”?
Isn’t that what people are panicking over, a drop (change/reform) in scores?
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NAEP score Reform
The scores have reformed
And all on their own
The public’s alarmed
And reason has flown
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NAEP Reform
Reform of the test
Is really required
To give it a rest
And make it retired
Seriously, even if one accepts that NAEP has value for some purpose (which no one seems to be able to specify, not incidentally) if all it is ever used for is to “prove” things that it was not designed and has no capacity to prove, why even keep it?
It seems like a totally useless exercise. Worse, because every time new scores come out, there is a brand new round of the same hackneyed, vacuous arguments.
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Of course, NAEP probably employs a lot of psychometricians whose jobs would disappear if NAEP were retired, but maybe David Coleman could get them jobs at College Board, so their important skills wouldn’t go to waste.
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