Mamie Krupczak Allegretti is a regular reader and commenter to the blog. She wrote the following comment, which is good advice from a veteran to new and experienced teachers.
Anytime a person is burned out, demoralized and ready to quit his/her job, something is wrong. It’s not just that something is wrong with the way the institution is run (which there are many), but there can also be something wrong with the way the person is approaching the job.
Many teachers have what I call “Mamma bird syndrome.” They spend they time driving themselves into the ground giving and giving until they are exhausted. People commend them for outstanding work but inside they are tired and resentful.
If you want to be a teacher, it doesn’t seem that the craziness of the institution is going to change anytime soon. So if you really want to teach, you have to find ways to protect yourself, conserve and pace your energy, and lead a balanced life.
There are 3 rules to live by:
1. let go,
2. learn to say “no,” and
3. prioritize what you value.
What I am really getting at here is learning to create boundaries for yourself. Let go of things and situations over which you have no control and are not in your job description. Sure, there are days when you may be able to do more, but monitor yourself and your energy. Learn the boundaries of your energy and then decide what you are willing to give.
Learn to say no to extra duties and requests. Prioritize what you value. If you value excellent lesson plans, put your energy into that. But know that if you try to do it all, something will give and it will most likely be your health – mental and/or physical.
Your school day ends at a certain time. Keep to that time. If you have to work at home, set a boundary of say 45 minutes. You need to remember that this is a job and you need to have a life outside of school.
It sounds hard-nosed to say that, but it is the truth. If they had their way, the school district would want you to work 24/7. So it’s up to you, the teacher, to set boundaries. Teacher duties have increased over time because teachers have accepted them.
But think about it. Would you ask your doctor or lawyer to do things that were outside his or her job? We now want teachers to be parents, friends, therapists, mentors, counselors, mental health experts, financial helpers, etc. to students.
So, I’m not saying that teachers should never go above and beyond at times but when fatigue, resentment and a desire to flee show up, something in yourself needs to change. I think these are the biggest lessons young teachers (and even old) have to learn.

This is good advice, Anyone preparing for a career in teaching should realize it is a marathon, not a sprint. Just as passengers on an airplane need to put on their own oxygen mask first before they can help others, teachers need to attend to their own mental and physical well-being before they can best serve their students and school community.
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Thank you for this post. When school shut down, homes became classrooms and the physical dividing space between work and life was suspended. Then we returned to in-person school and it has been difficult to redraw the boundaries. It’s been a year of years. And right now, there is the stress of state testing with all of its insane and inane security measures to protect the testing companies’ products. Everybody ticked off and fighting and retiring early and quitting and — don’t forget — dying. Yes, I need my boundaries back. Big time. Sigh. Five more weeks to go until vacation.
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Throughout my 34 years teaching at this small rural public school, I have watched as the structure of public education becomes more and more transactional in nature. Top down reform has created a cadre of teachers who more and more base their willingness to give time to teaching based on what is required. Who can blame them?
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and society appears to be moving that way too
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Yes. Sadly, yes.
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I recommend meditation, exercise, yoga, enough sleep and a healthy diet … not directly job related but life related
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Great advice, Peter!
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Ms. Allegretti’s wise post is a fine example of why younger teachers need older teachers. Want to dramatically improve education? Return decision making to teachers and department heads.
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Hear, Hear!
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Thank you, Diane, for posting my comment. I’ve always thought it would be a great career for retired teachers to come back part time and mentor first year teachers. Usually mentors are teachers who are still teaching in the school, and they often have little time to devote to mentoring. Imagine a retired teacher being able to spend half the day with a new teacher in his/her classes and help with organization, classroom management, time management, emotional support, and so many other things. Retired teachers have years of experience that could help new teachers really start their careers on a strong foot. You might think that 6 weeks of student teaching is enough, but that is really not their classroom and students and 6 weeks is a very short time. Also, education programs concentrate on preparing teachers for and BEFORE the classroom but actually being there is very different. I think this would be a really great investment by school districts in helping young teachers be able to start off strong in a really REALLY tough career. It might even lead to less teacher turnover, higher rates of teacher retention, and less teacher burnout in those crucial first years. Plus, it really says to a new teacher that the school is willing to commit to the new teacher and strengthen the teaching profession. New York is trying to figure out ways to do just these things. This might be a good idea.
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THIS!!!
yes. yes. yes.
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My school district had a required mentoring program, experienced and retired teachers mentoring first year teachers, I served on the committee to select the mentors and monitor the effectiveness of the program. We met with the mentors and the mentees, separately, monthly. Some of the mentors complained. “The new teachers don’t respect us, they think they know more than we do …” and the new teachers, “They treat as if their our parents, they think know everything.”
In subsequent years we required a training program for prospective mentors, generational conflicts are commonplace and mentoring requires special skills.
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Hi Ed,
I’m 54 years old and I’ve been teaching 30 years. Some days I wish I had a mentor!! The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know. I always like to mention that to students who tell me they know everything. Sometimes when I get what I think is a bright idea – a way of teaching something, etc., I tell the kids that this idea just occurred to me and this is the first time I’ve ever taught it this way. They’re amazed.
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A teacher is a writer, producer, director, actor and reviewer of a play with a run of one day
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You are wise.
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Fine advice for a teacher who has some sort of tenure protection as well as a supportive union, and, from what I have seen, the unions have little input in how probationary teachers are treated. Perhaps because of the extreme teacher shortage teachers will have a little more leverage, but I will believe it when I see it.
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Nice post. I value Mamie’s experience and agree with the advice in theory. But depending on the context someone is teaching in and all the surrounding circumstances …. (and teaching has changed significantly in the last decade) . . .
it’s really a case of easier said than done.
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I just read your blog post – thanks for posting. Favorite quote:
“we are still trying to fill a leaky bucket by turning up the faucet.”
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Thank you for all your comments. But my thoughts really can be applied to any job. The world will always ask more from you than you may be able or want to give. The older I get, the more I think that this may be the crucial issue in all our lives – the issue of how to balance all the social and familial duties with one’s own personal development. Also, now that I am in the second half of life, my energy is moving away from building my career to withdrawing from that to serve deeper aspects of my self. The real trick is to know that those deeper aspects of yourself are there when you are young and not to forget to serve them when you are young and creating a life. I value and prioritize my personal development which, in many ways, is separate from my job. This is why I am fierce about creating boundaries around my job.
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The World Is Too Much With Us
BY WILLIAM WORDSWORTH
The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;—
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not. Great God! I’d rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.
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That’s one of my favorite poems, Mamie. It’s gotten so much worse since I first read it many years ago.
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And as my older siblings, also teachers, told me, “stay out of the teachers lounge”. I didn’t listen at first because I enjoy conversation, but once I learned this to be true I was much happier.
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Good advice, but I am frankly sick of being told to prioritize “self care” as they pile more and more on our plates that is not optional.
Thank you, Mamie. You are a good soul. But I have done all you suggested and am still burned out.
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Same.
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Threatened and Beach,
I’m sorry to hear that. And it’s true that many good teachers are leaving the profession. Unless some of this pressure is lifted, I really believe that people will decide teaching is not the career for them. Perhaps this will be a painful lesson our country will need to learn.
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But public education dies in the meantime. That’s the tragedy
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[…] I just read this post by Diane Ravitch where she quotes a comment by Mamie Krupczak Allegretti an avid reader of Diane’s blog. Looks […]
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