What happens if a tornado or a severe storm disrupts the calm atmosphere needed to administer tests? What if a tsunami strikes without warning? The possibilities are numerous and frightening.
Fortunately someone has thought about this problem and established protocols. Please share these rules with teachers, administrators, and students.
Diane Ravitch's blog 
Sounds about right. Good find, Diane. Laughed my head off.
Reblogged this on onewomansjournal.
Archeologists 1000s of years from now discovering a Pearson test booklet is NOT ALLOWED to view, read or publish ANY test questions found at their site. Museums are not allowed to display said test booklet with questions. These items must be given to Pearson-15.0 under the stricktest security and transported under governmental escort. Any violations will be punished with a life and afterlife sentence in the ‘Gates of Hell’ in the Gates World Purgatory.
These measures must be taken because Pearson made only one test, errors and all. Correcting format, errors and updating test items to improve their tests are too costly and interfere with their $GaZill Empire of owning EVERY TEST KNOWN TO MANKIND.
Inquiries and questions will NEVER be considered.
Shut-up and sit down! Get some GRIT!
Even funnier….thanks H A H….great initials.
Tee hee hee…Here in New York, we were told that if there were a fire alarm or other emergency, proctors had to stay behind and pick up all test materials and bring them with us. Hee here her
Perhaps State Ed. and the Governor think it’s just another good way to get rid of teachers. heee here
My school told us to try to collect a test if there is a fire alarm, as there will not be alarms on a testing day. But if we could see smoke or evidence to just leave.
Um no. If an alarm goes off, my students and I are out the door. The only thing I am bringing is the first aid bag.
That’s terrible! I guess the safety of teachers and students isn’t a priority on test day.
Titleonetexasteacher:
Given the topic, I am feeling a bit impertinent, so let me say if I had the privilege of working with you in a classroom as your TA—
I would have been right behind, making sure the students and we were the heck out of there ASAP.
Tests? Let Pearson pick them up. They’re getting paid enough…
Krazy props.
😎
That’s called an “Opt Out Of God” …
There will be no fire, no alarms, no tornados, no wars and no disasters man made or other wise during Common Core testing because a majority of the students will be praying to Almighty God and He will deliver. God will protect one and all.
Hate to tell you, Raj, students won’t be praying for no interruptions of the testing. They WILL be praying FOR interruptions of the testing. My debate class debated standardized testing the other day. I was very fair and just gave them the statement: “Resolved, standardized testing is educationally valid,” and one kid had to debate for the testing being educationally valid, and another student had to debate against the testing being valid. Just from the debate, I could tell how much the students HATE the testing, and realize that it does them no good. They brought up a bunch of points that are discussed in here–that the scores don’t come back for months, that they’re way too long, that they don’t test what they learned. And, because of contractual restrictions, I have said not one word about the testing (pro or con). These 8th graders figured it out on their own.
As you may surmise, my comment was tongue-in-cheek and is appropriate for this satire. I hope that you had a good laugh. As you have stated above, I have expressed no opinion pro or con about any subject here. I have no contractual obligations.
Thanks for the laughs!
Another piece you have to read for a minute to know it is not satire.
Meant to say “it is satire”.
Diane,
My school (Taunton High School, Taunton, MA) actually had a situation two years ago during state MCAS testing that required an evacuation. In that spirit, I sent out the following instructions to a few folks. Bureaucracy uber alles! –Jim Scanlan
FIRE DRILL INSTRUCTIONS DURING TESTING
If there are actual flames due to a “Conflagration Circumstance,” (hereinafter, “CC”), please follow the directions listed below:
1) Make sure that test booklets burn first during CC, BEFORE answer booklets. Failure to ensure may compromise the integrity of the test. Ideally, booklets will be consumed from bottom to top.
2) Make sure that all materials to be incinerated during CC have been alphabetized, to maintain test integrity. If Administrator dies during CC, alphabetization responsibility will fall to building Principal and/or His/Her appointed representative. The Representative will, ideally, know the alphabet. If not, please submit Waiver Form 65.3, sub-sections 3/789, sub-heading, “Illiterates, Responsibilities Thereof.”
3) Students should be consumed by CC in alphabetical order.
4) While dying during CC, neither students nor Test Administrator should talk, weep, moan, or otherwise communicate with non-testers. Doing so may invalidate their dying.
5) Following CC, Guidance will collect pencil shards/(alphabetized) bone fragments, and escort and survivors to the appropriate hospital. Upon arrival, Guidance will cover all signage to prevent unlawful surviving/cheating.
________________________________________
I am a veteran teacher (since 1972) in Tennessee, and I have been dismayed at what has happened / is happening to my profession over the past several years. I follow your blog daily, and I appreciate your clear and sensible voice amidst all the cacophony that surrounds us. But I am puzzled: several days ago, the Tennessee legislature repealed Common Core, effective 2017-18 school year. I don’t want to do the glory dance until I am sure what that event does and does not mean. Is it a real repeal, or simply a renaming of the standards? There was really nothing wrong with the 2009-10 standards, as long as that entire document was followed. But with Race to the Top, teachers in TN were “strongly encouraged” to teach only the STATE performance indicators which were tested on the End of Course exams, resulting in the decimation of real education, replacing it with course-long test prep. I couldn’t wait to read your appraisal of this event. But I am still waiting! Did you know about this event? It did not get much media coverage at all. Do you think it has any real impact, or is it simply an attempt to dissociate TN from Common Core for public relations purposes – a superficial name change?
What we really need is a repeal of the testing program! From the beginning of October until the end of May, our district is testing someone, incessantly. There is little time to teach. To use the Ethiopian analogy, we are forever weighing the students, to the point that there is little time or opportunity to feed them. Thank you for all you do for education.
“There was really nothing wrong with the 2009-10 standards, as long as that entire document was followed.”
Oh, yes there was a lot wrong with the 2009-10 standards-and I haven’t read them. Standards as a concept in education is a false one based on false/illogical premise; that the teaching and learning process is measurable. Since the teaching and learning process cannot be “measured” there is no need, and indeed, is illogical to use the “standards” concept.
There is a protocol for testing interrupted by a fire drill. I don’t remember all of it, but I’m sure the previously mentioned facts are true (the teacher is encouraged to collect and keep the exam with them at all times). However, I do remember that after the drill you were to pick up where you left off as if no disruption had happened. I do know that before the test began, the proctors had to have the exams in their sight at all times. So if I needed to go to the lav (prior to student arrival) those tests came with me.
I think Bill Gates, Eli Broad, Michael Bloomberg must have a “direct line” to God and so this event will never happen during testing – only after testing is over and the top secret booklets and answer sheets have made it to their godly data destination will a tornado, flood fire etc happen. Don’t worry folks.. its all under megamillioniare “control”.