You too can learn to be a “no excuses” teacher in a charter school that gets high test scores. There are a few changes required in your attitude; you too can earn a new graduate degree from a new graduate school that will remold your personality and teach you not to accept any excuses. Paternalistic? Yes. Colonialist? Call it that if you wish. Results are what matters.

All you need to do is enroll in a “graduate school” designed specifically for no-excuses charters. You will learn the tricks and techniques of raising test scores. You will learn the chants and slogans necessary for grit, silence, and lining up single-file. You won’t have to waste your time on the history, sociology, economics, or philosophy of education. You won’t waste your time on research. You will earn a masters degree that no genuine university rrecognizes.

But so what? You will learn how to get those test scores.