Peter Greene is convinced that Arne Duncan is about to launch a series of new Ambassador programs, to spread the good word about the GREAT job that he is doing.
Why hide your light beneath a bushel or a barrel or a boxcar when the DOE has so many successful initiatives (especially if you work in its public relations department)?
Greene says keep your eyes peeled for these great initiatives:
“Ambassador Librarians
“Ambassador librarians will be embedded in school libraries, where they will make sure that students are following federal guidelines for reading selections. Should a student attempt to check out a book below his grade level for some lame reason like “he enjoys it,” the ambassador librarian will apply a federal ruler rigorously to the child’s hand.
“Ambassador Lunch Ladies
“Ambassador lunch ladies will be placed in cafeteria lunch lines, where they will make sure that every student takes some federal cheese (motto: still smelly after thirty years). Ambassador lunch ladies will also circle through the dining area to scold all students who have not eaten all their vegetables. They will also be responsible for monitoring the federal grumpiness guidelines, and report to the department any other lunch ladies who are too often cheerful.
“Ambassador Bus Drivers
“Ambassador bus drivers will be responsible both for making sure the bus travels where it is supposed to and also for making sure that all the passengers are happy about it. Ambassador bus drivers will be trained in leading the new federally-produced cheerily-engineered songs “If You’re Happy I Should Know It” and “It’s For Your Own Good.”
“Ambassador Parent
“Let’s face it. One of the major factors in student learning is the home situation, and we have learned that many of you weak, lying, sad excuses for parental units would rather talk about “love” and “support” and your precious baby than give the child the rigorous ass-kicking he probably needs. So this federal program will put an additional federally-funded parent in your home to monitor your proper use of motivational techniques and to oversee homework production. Families will also be instructed in proper use of federal bed time standards as well as the federally-approved manner for tucking small children in without exceeding the federally-supported number of bedtime kisses.”
Diane Ravitch's blog 
“The bottom line here is that we can’t trust you yahoos to do anything right.”
Here’s a real life example of “we can’t trust you yahoos to do anything right”
Bill Gates, finally noticing that standardized testing-based “accountability measures” have become laughable and ridiculous and probably reflected poorly on the “accountability movement”, pens a long excuse where he blames (who else!) state and local public school leaders.
You yahoos took his brilliant idea and screwed it all up.
“In one Midwestern state, for example, a 166-pagePhysical Education Evaluation Instrument holds teachers accountable for ensuring that students meet state-defined targets for physical education, such as consistently demonstrating “correct skipping technique with a smooth and effortless rhythm” and “strike consistently a ball with a paddle to a target area with accuracy and good technique.” I’m not making this up!
This is one reason there is a backlash against standardized tests — in particular, using student test scores as the primary basis for making decisions about firing, promoting and compensating teachers.”
The state he’s talking about is Ohio, where our public education system has been completely run by ed reformers for at least the last decade including almost total capture of the state legislature. Yet, national ed reformers are somehow not responsible for the testing lunacy. It’s the fault of the local yahoos, again.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/bill-gates-a-fairer-way-to-evaluate-teachers/2013/04/03/c99fd1bc-98c2-11e2-814b-063623d80a60_story.html
This is a hopeful piece about how local voters are supporting public schools after Indiana ed reformers gutted state funding.
They have to raise operations money thru local measures.
“When lawmakers implemented property tax caps back in 2008, it cut down the amount of tax money that could be distributed to school districts and fundamentally changed the way public schools in Indiana are financed.”
One of the things that was cut was transportation, and of course transportation is a huge issue for lower income parents, many of whom work “shifts” in either low wage jobs or manufacturing in a town like Elkhart, so don’t have a 9 to 5 work schedule where they can be transporting kids to school. When they say they want to “equalize” funding, look at the numbers. In Indiana, Michigan and Ohio it means “cut state support and race to the bottom”. The “equality” language is pure political spin for a tax cut and then a cut in funding.
http://indianapublicmedia.org/stateimpact/2014/05/15/referenda-indianas-public-schools-trely-public/
Let’s not forget that the bus drivers and lunch ladies will also be responsible for providing math and literacy instruction, so that the kids are college (debt) and (poverty wage) career ready.
Duncan is headed out to help endangered ed reformer Malloy:
“Duncan was scheduled Monday to visit University High School of Science and Engineering, where he’ll participate in a town hall discussion on “College Readiness, Access and Affordability.”
Ten high school seniors will participate in the discussion, along with various Connecticut leaders, including Gov. Dannel P. Malloy, U.S. Sens. Richard Blumenthal and Chris Murphy.
Members of the audience will include juniors and seniors from the Hartford school and parents.”
http://www.middletownpress.com/general-news/20140518/us-education-secretary-arne-duncan-to-talk-college-readiness-in-hartford
Remember when he campaigned for Michelle Rhee?
The Mayor’s crude attempt to change generally accepted accounting rules is an insult to the citizens of New York. http://nypost.com/2014/05/18/key-questions-de-blasio-wont-answer/
Even worse, is the lack of attention to the roll back of the additional student’s instructional time. Mayor Bloomberg negotiated and paid the union for this additional time. This now becomes teachers training time? Please…we all know it will be teacher’s time off and the once again the children lose.
There are one million children who should have been represented at the union negotiations. They weren’t and they lose! It is a sad time for public education.
Thank you, Peter Greene.
“Laughter is poison to the pompous.”
😎
AMBASSADORS? OY…I have a few choice words.
Who were the guys they used to send with the journalists in Iraq, “minders”.
At one time in the United States, we actually discussed and debated ideas about curricula, pedagogy, learning progressions, etc.
And, of course, as free people. we agreed or disagreed with specific ideas advanced by the Secretary of Education based on our experience and knowledge and professional judgment.
Now, under Arne Duncan, Secretary of the Department of the Regimentation, Standardization, Dehumanization, and Privatization of U.S. Education, formerly the USDE, we are the recipients of one-way public relations and threats.
A month or an Ed Deform troll on this blog went ballistic when I suggested that the CCSSO was acting as defacto Thought Police and that Vichy collaborators in the USDE, in state departments, and in district officers had been enlisted to enforce absolute conformity to official dogma.
But this is, indeed, what is happening. For the first time since the dark days of Behaviorism and Behavioral Objectives, I am seeing people living in continual FEAR of losing their jobs if authorities find out that they have any objections whatsoever to the Commoner’s Core [sic] State [sic] Standards [sic], to the new C.C.C.C.C.C.R.A.P. tests, or to evaluation systems based on those.
And, of course, the USDE and the teachers’ unions have both made themselves into propaganda ministries for the new official dogma.
This is what happens in Totalitarian states. There is an official dogma to which you are are not allowed to take principled, reasoned objection of any kind. Dissent on the slightest matters, even dissent based purely on empirical grounds, is dealt with summarily and severely punished.
Teacher “trainings” (Sit up. Roll over. Good boy) typically begin, now, with a preface to the effect that “We are not here to argue about any of this. If you have any objections, please keep them to yourself or see me after the meeting.”
We have entered a period of Lysenkoism in U.S. education. Teachers and administrators and textbook writers and editors who object to the ignorant, amateurish CCSS in ELA or to the associated tests typically voice their objections, now, only privately, after extracting sworn secrecy. “If you tell anyone I said this, I swear I will . . . .”
This is what it has come to in the Land of the Free.
PR and threats. Thought control. Matters like how children learn grammar or vocabulary or to read and to write and think are no longer scientific questions. They are matters of official state DOGMA, and the slightest dissent from that DOGMA is punishable by severe sanctions, including loss of employment.
Thanks, Arne and Bill. Thanks Common Core Curriculum Commissariat and Ministry of Truth. That’s quite a legacy.
Keep on pumping out the PR. In all Totalitarian states, the official belief system is, of course, reinforced by continually messaging. North Korea. Owell’s Ingsoc.
Under Glorious Leader, production quotas for Pig Iron and Pork Bellies took another quantum leap in April . . . [queue the martial music]. And now for a word from a worker comrade about the need for continued vigilance against enemies of the Cultural Revolution and Glorious Leader.
There are a number of typos in that post. My apologies for those. It was written hastily.
“This is what it has come to in the Land of the Free.”
I originally read that as the “Land of the Fear”.
And “The Fear” would make a good title of a teacher nightmare movie.
Sorry, I am going to repost my response to correct the typos.
At one time in the United States, we actually discussed and debated ideas about curricula, pedagogy, learning progressions, etc.
And, of course, as a free people. we agreed or disagreed with specific ideas advanced by the Secretary of Education based on our experience and knowledge and professional judgment. We considered curricula, pedagogy, learning progressions, assessment methods, and the like to be matters for continual research and revision on which there were varied informed opinions.
Now, under Arne Duncan, Secretary of the Department of the Regimentation, Standardization, Dehumanization, and Privatization of U.S. Education, formerly the USDE, we are the recipients of one-way public relations and THREATS.
A month or so ago, an Ed Deform troll on this blog went ballistic when I suggested that the CCSSO was acting as a de facto Thought Police and that Vichy collaborators in the USDE, in state departments, and in district offices had been enlisted to enforce absolute conformity to an official dogma.
But this is, indeed, what is happening. For the first time since the dark days of Behaviorism and Behavioral Objectives, I am seeing people living in FEAR of losing their jobs if authorities find out that they have any objections whatsoever to the Commoner’s Core [sic] State [sic] Standards [sic], to the new C.C.C.C.C.C.R.A.P. tests, or to evaluation systems based on those.
And, of course, the USDE and the teachers’ unions have all made themselves into propaganda ministries for the new official dogma.
This is what happens in Totalitarian states. There is an official dogma to which you are are not allowed to have principled, reasoned objections of any kind. Dissent on the slightest matters, however rational, however reasoned, however supported by evidence, is dealt with summarily and severely punished.
Teacher “trainings” (“Sit up. Roll over. Good boy.”) typically begin, now, with comments to the effect that “We are not here to argue about any of this. If you have any objections, please keep them to yourself or see me after the meeting.”
We have entered a period of Lysenkoism in U.S. education. Teachers and administrators and textbook writers and editors who object to the CCSS in ELA or to the associated tests typically voice their objections, now, only privately, after extracting sworn secrecy. “If you tell anyone I said this, I swear I will . . . .”
This is what it has come to in the Land of the Free.
PR and threats. Thought control. Matters like how children learn grammar or vocabulary or to read or to write or to think are no longer scientific questions. They are matters of official state DOGMA, and the slightest dissent from that DOGMA is punishable by severe sanctions, including loss of employment.
Thanks, Arne and Bill. Thanks Common Core Curriculum Commissariat and Ministry of Truth. That’s quite a legacy.
Keep on pumping out the PR. In all Totalitarian states, the official belief system is, of course, reinforced by continually messaging. In North Korea. In Owell’s Ingsoc. And now in the Land of the Free.
“Under Glorious Leader, production quotas for Pig Iron and Pork Bellies took another quantum leap in April . . . [queue the martial music]. And now for a word from a worker comrade about the need for continued vigilance against enemies of the Cultural Revolution and of Glorious Leader.”
Haha, “Federal Parent.” 🙂
On second thought…that’s scary.