SomeDAM Poet wrote these verses.
“The Billionaire and the Reformer” (after “The Walrus and the Carpenter,” by Lewis Carroll)
The pol was pining for a charter,
pining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The regulations sleight —
Which wasn’t hard, because the pol
Was charter acolyte
The public was pining sulkily,
Because they thought the pol
Had got no business to be there
After the charter stole —
“Incredible of him,” they said,
“To work for charter dole”
The money was tight as tight could be,
The coffers were bare as bare.
You could not see a dollar, cuz
No dollar was in there:
No Race was funding overhead —
There was no Race to fund.
The Billionaire and the Reformer
Were talking under bleachers;
They wept like anything to see
Such qualities of teachers:
If these were only cleared away,’
Our schools would be like peaches!’
If seven Chetty’s with seven VAMs
VAMmed for half a year,
Do you suppose,’the Billionaire said,
That they could get them clear?’
I doubt it,’ said the Reformer,
And shed a bitter tear.
O students, come and walk with us!’
The Billionaire did beseech.
A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
A better way to teach
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each.’
The eldest student looked at her
But never a word he said:
The eldest student winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head —
Meaning to say he did not choose
To go with Jobs, and fled
But four young students hurried up,
All eager for the fest:
Their hair was brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and best —
And this was odd, because, you know,
They’re going to a test.
Four other students followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more —
All hopping through the student waves
And scrambling to the door.
The Billionaire and the Reformer
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little students stood
And waited in a row.
The time has come,’ the Billionaire said,
To talk of many things:
Of Common Core — and standard tests — of passing score — and VAM—
And why the schools are failing [Not!] —
And whether pigs have wings.’
But wait a bit,’ the students cried,
Before we have our talk;
For some of us are out of breath,
And some of us can’t walk!’
No hurry!’ said the Reformer.
As patient as a hawk.
A lot of bread,’ the Billionaire said,
Is what we chiefly need:
Testing and Common Core besides
Are very good indeed —
Now if you’re ready, students dear,
We can begin to weed.’
But not with us!’ the students cried,
Turning a little blue.
After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!’
The day is fine,’ the Billionaire said.
Do you admire the view?
It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!’
The Reformer said nothing but
‘That cut score won’t suffice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf —
I’ve had to tell you twice!’
It seems a shame,’ the Billionaire said,
To play them such a trick,
After we’ve brought them out so far,
And made them test so quick!’
The Reformer said nothing but
The opt-out’s spread too thick!’
I weep for you,’ the Billionaire said:
I deeply sympathize.’
With sobs and tears he sorted out
The scores of lesser size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.
O students,’ said the Reformer,
You’ve had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?’
But answer came there none —
And this was scarcely odd, because
They’d flunked out every one.”
Amazing. A real talent. Thank YOU Diane and SomeDAM Poet..
On a relate note, this was in my mailbox this morning, BIG SURPRISE HERE.
from Knowledge Works.
“New publication explores promise of human-centered learning.”
I laughed even harder harder after reading this gibberish.
“Reorienting education’s focus-for people and the planet.
To help inspire broad visions for education that focus on human development and enable positive experiences and outcomes for learners, educators and others involved in education systems, our latest publication “Envisioning Human Centered Learning Systems” explores
–four essential elements of human-centered learning that together paint an aspirational picture of what education might look like and what it might hope to achieve,
–a set of questions that support readers in pausing to make sense of the vision within their own contexts
–a set of bold strategic steps, along with related actions, for aligning educational systems, structures, practices, and learning experiences with the vision for human-centered learning systems
–key insights about shifting society’s collective educational vision toward human-centered perspective.
This announcement comes from KnowledgeWorks Foundation, a deep-pockets think tank based in Cincinnati. The history that KWF wants you to know is here https://knowledgeworks.org/about/history/
KnowledgeWorks Foundation was founded in 1998 by Chad Wick, a Cincinnati banker who had no background in public education. Wick had served on the board of Student Loan Funding Corporation, then a nonprofit. When that corporation elected to become a for-profit company, KnowledgeWorks was formed and KnowledgeWorks owned the new company’s stock until it was sold to Sallie Mae in 2000.
Under Wick’s (naïve) leadership KnowledgeWorks was an easy mark for some of major projects of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation including the failed “small high school” program, dubious Common Core initiatives, and Early College High Schools. The current leaders have been marketing PCBL– “personalized competency-based learning”– along with their periodic future forecasts for education. I knew Chad Wick in the early days of KnowledgeWorks. It was obvious he had no idea how to make a difference in education. He was easy prey for Gates and others https://littlesis.org/org/50547-KnowledgeWorks_Foundation/datatable
This sounds like a pitch for some of the SEL (social emotional learning) software that will plunk students down for more cheap screen time. If we want students to grow up with healthy social-emotional outlooks, they need to learn from real people and build strong connections with those people. The best learning is social in a supportive caring environment. Too much screen time is unhealthy for developing minds and brains.
LOL. Another gem. Poor clams! Poor students!
That note’s for you, Loo-ish Caroler!
By which I mean, ofc, the Poet Laureate of the Resistance, SomeDAM!
I guess that human-centered learning is a vast improvement on, say, sand-flea- or red-lipped-batfish-centered learning.
“New publication explores promise of human-centered learning.”
I thought they were trying to pitch having real people teach in person, like that wasn’t what we had been doing before business consultants and tech entrepreneurs decided they could “teach” more efficiently if the human factor was eliminated (or at least carefully scripted).
SomeDam, these pieces of yours are a continual delight. Thank you!
SomeDAM does it again!
Brilliant!
Such an utter pleasure, reading this pieces!
We should establish an award. May I suggest the Ph-Ph-Ph: The Phickle Phunny proPhundity Award?
Three P’s for SomeDAM!
praise worthy for sure – the final 3 lines- superb and the best!
SomeDAM: The clever bard! Entertaining, funny, and thought provoking.
This is one of those eventually classic works that, on a long, trying day like today, helps me muddle through when I take a couple minutes here and there to read it again. And again.
SomeDAM: I bow at your feet, dear Poet Laureate!
Thanks all, but I just changed a few of Lewis Carrolls words.
I find it very ironic that he is considered a “nonsense poet” because the meaning is there if you just look.
Does life imitate art or does art imitate life? Do billionaires imitate nonsense or does nonsense imitate billionaires?
Even Greg Brown’s Rudy Toot Toot for the Moon song is not nonsense
The whole kit and caboodle is in disrepair
There’s no where to go that’s not here
Little captains and cuckoos from here to Timbuktu
Are counting their dough in the mirror
Singing Rudy* toot toot for the moon
He’s the biggest liar I’ve ever seen
He’s a pearl of twitsdom, a slice of bad cheese
Melting just like witch of green, melting just like witch of green
*About Rudy Giuliani, of course
https://img.thedailybeast.com/image/upload/c_crop,d_placeholder_euli9k,h_675,w_1200,x_0,y_0/dpr_1.5/c_limit,w_908/fl_lossy,q_auto/v1605836560/201119-Teeman-Giuliani-tease_wgitze
Love Greg Brown.
Went to see him a couple times up in NH.
Is that you, Greg B.?
🤣 Much like the Idiot, I have not talent in the art of anything.
My favorite Greg Brown song