Governor Brian Kemp of Georgia has boldly asserted his claim to be the dumbest governor in the nation. This makes Florida Governor Ron DeSantis very unhappy, as he claims that title.
Kemp suspended all local laws and orders that mandate mask-wearing as the number of coronavirus cases rise in Georgia. He “encouraged” people to wear masks, but no mandates permitted.
Bob Shepherd explains why Florida is miffed:
FROM: the law offices of A. Wayne Kerr, Esq.
TO: The State of Georgia
OK. We here in Flor-uh-duh are not happy. We’ve spent years, literally, building our reputation as the dumbest state in the union. We’ve built rope swings over pits of alligators. We’ve worn “Seriously, I have drugs” T-shirts when we were carrying drugs. We’ve organized people to shoot down hurricanes. We’ve claimed in court that we weren’t drinking and driving because we only swigged alcohol at stop signs. We’ve committed criminal assault with fried chicken. We’ve passed resolutions banning Satan from our towns. We’ve committed armed robbery with transparent bags on our heads. We’ve elected Ron DeSantis our governor. We’ve passed stand your ground laws. We’ve driven on highways with a “Car in Toe” sign in the back window. And we’ve issued an order to open all our schools to full in-person instruction on the very day that we set a national record for new cases of Covid-19.
In short, we have worked extremely hard to build the brand of Flor-uh-duh Man. Now, the state of Georgia thinks it can capriciously encroach on our brand by rescinding its order to wear masks in public during the pandemic. This cannot stand. Please cease and desist from further stupid.
Thank you.
Diane Ravitch's blog 
Thank you so much for the hilarious post 😊🌹😂 ❤️ You made my day!
Great satire as always, Bob. I am seeing an increasing number of people in northern Florida where the conservatives are golden expressing disappointment with DeSantis. Of course, I can’t say that his adversary, Gillum, would have been a better choice. He was found not too long ago in a hotel room with crack cocaine. Just another “normal” day in Flor-uh-duh.
BTW the Supreme Court ruled that felons have to pay their fines in order to vote. Most of the felons will be unable to do this. Remember when Bloomberg said he would do anything to stop Trump during the debates. We should enlist his support to pay off these fines so approximately a million more Floridians can vote in November. If we can flip Florida for Biden, it is money well spent.
Bloomberg’s largesse will occur only if he is able to buy control of the Democratic Party.
A little humor about dim-witted republicans H
On Sun, Jul 19, 2020 at 12:01 PM Diane Ravitch’s blog wrote:
> dianeravitch posted: “Governor Brian Kemp of Georgia has boldly asserted > his claim to be the dumbest governor in the nation. This makes Florida > Governor Ron DeSantis very unhappy, as he claims that title. Kemp suspended > all local laws and orders that mandate mask-wearing as” >
Flor-i-duh’s “brand” expanded nationally-
Kayleigh McEnany, aka, “Karen” in Lightfoot’s Chicago, is a graduate of Tampa’s Academy of the Holy Names (and later, D.C.’s Georgetown).
NYDaily News reported that “McEnany has a long list of of anti-LGBTQ, racist remarks”.
Floriduh
“Car in toe”
“Baby on bored”
Floriduh row
Where Al was Gored
You’ve done it again, SDP!!
LOL, SomeDam. Love it.
oooh, that last one still hurts
Race to the Bottom? Race to the Absurd? Race to the Outhouse?
Hahahahaha! Pretty much perfect.
That’s Kaleigh McINANEy, y’all! (Or, perhaps, McINSANEy)
agreed
Watched her conclude a press conference today w/a scolding on “what you didn’t ask” that quickly became a brief political speech. She doesn’t seem to understand the job description… Or maybe she’s planning on running for office.
P.S. BS: Send to The Onion! Perhaps you’ll be asked to be a contributor (non-paid, of course).
You too, SDP: you could be their “poet not in residence” (or their “poet in quarantine).
poet not in residence. LMAO!!!
Poet in reticence
I hope you get to see this comment, SDP–“Poet in reticence” made me laugh SO loudly!! Thanks…I needed that!
This is not funny: watching the ABC World News–3 men fishing were beaten & shot to death.In Floruh-duh. Shot.
Aren’t guns wonderful…especially when we must protect ourselves against…men fishing.
(I know–multitude of guns & shootings {most deaths of young children for a summer thus far}, of course, in Chicago.PDB.)
Tom Hanks, who recovered from one of the earliest high-profile cases of the virus, gave an interview today that didn’t mince words about people who ignore its dangers. This is a mystery to me —when 2 and 2 don’t add up to 4..there is a darkness at the edge of town… it is killing people, and your can’t argue that! ”
He talks about how common sense has been put into question. Great video. https://t.co/6Y73zRwP2E
Trump’s most recent statement on wearing masks:
“No. I want people to have a certain freedom. And I don’t believe in that. No. I don’t believe in the statement that if everyone wore a mask, everything disappears. . . . Everybody who is saying don’t wear a mask–all of a sudden everybody’s got to wear a mask, and as you know, masks cause problems, too. With that being said, I’m a believer in masks. I think masks are good.”
Toddler English.
I don’t believe in the statement? (As in “The statement doesn’t exist?)
Everything disappears. (Everything? The entire universe? Or just the Earth? Wow. That’s one magic mask.)
Everybody who is saying don’t wear a mask–all of a sudden everybody’s got to wear a mask (This means that the CDC originally told people not to wear masks and then changed the guidance. I know, but you have to have give points for his syntactic originality!)
Masks cause problems, too. (Those trouble-making masks! Darn them!)
I’m a believer in masks. (Hey, Donald, me, too! I seen bunches of them!)
I think masks are good. (Good mask. Good boy.)
People don’t rob banks.
Masks do.
To think, they could have Abrams and Gillum. How different things would have (coulda, shoulda) been!
Exactly. DeSantis won by 0.4 percent of the vote. The vote fixing by Florida Repugnicans determined that election. It’s only a pretend democracy in the ironically named “Sunshine” state.
Doesn’t convince me. Even w/vote-fixing, they could do no better than +o.4%? Must have been an awful lot of Flori-duh-yans voting.
Ginny, the fact is that Florida would have gone consistently blue a long time ago except for the vote fixing, including having fewer polling places in black and brown districts, sending mail-in ballots late to registered Democrats, and many other shenanigans.
Bob, what you wrote is exactly what my friends in FL have been telling me for years. Without institutional corruption, FL would be a reliable Democratic state.
As to your *;03 PM 7?19 mask comments, Bob:
I would highly recommend that everyone watch Anderson Cooper’s piece RE: WHit’s lack of “object permanence,” something that an infant/toddler possesses. A.C. just adopted a baby, & has been reading every parenting/infancy book he could get his hands on. I was an Early Childhood teacher, both in sped & in a summer preschool &, for the life of me, I could not remember that term (which I had learned in grad school), but I knew that it was something WHit lacks, like the tot who has done something wrong &, so, hides under his blankie because he thinks no one will find him/can see him. If they don’t see him, he’s not there. If something is not seen, it has gone away.
Anyway, just Google “Anderson Cooper Object Permanence.”
In fact, if someone could post it on the blog, it would be swell!
Cousins of mine who live in Florida told the story of being here visiting in Tennessee when the 2000 election went to Bush. They never dreamed the state would go that way. Since that time, they perceive Florida moving inexorably to the right.
One thing that has made this possible is the ability of political operatives to identify neighborhoods that are reliable for their voting patterns and respond with districts that put their own people into power. In Florida, the standard of living brought to the state is so high due to retiring people bringing their wealth, that people can live pretty much where they want to. Unhappy with your neighbors? With only recent ties to a neighborhood or town, people feel no compunction to stay. This leads to neighborhood homogeneity and helps republican operative out considerably.
Perhaps I am wrong about this, but it is my perception of the Florida electorate.