I have read “Harold and the Purple Crayon” for many decades. First to my children, then to my grandchildren.
Dana Milbank of the Washington Post re-imagines the iconic children’s book brilliantly. The best commentary I have read in a long time on our national nightmare.
He wrote:
With profuse apologies to the late Crockett Johnson, author of “Harold and the Purple Crayon.”
One evening, after thinking it over for some time, Donald decided he wanted to be president.
He drew a picture that made his hands look very big.
He drew another picture that made dark people look scary and another that made the president into a mean Muslim from Africa.
He made a picture of a swamp with frightening alligators, a picture of terrible monsters in Chicago and a picture of dangerous animals from Central America.
Still, Donald did not win most of the votes. So he drew a picture of the other side cheating and called it fraud.
He drew a picture of his inauguration with so many people in it!
Then Donald set off to be president, taking his big, black Sharpie with him. And the moon followed him.
Being president is hard work, which he did not like. So he drew pictures that made it look as though he was working on the golf course and at the country club.
He drew a lot of pictures that showed polls going up, up, up!
He drew a picture of himself with all his children. He made everybody slender. He drew his advisers. He made them look competent.
He drew a picture of the Constitution that said immigrants cannot be citizens.
He drew a certificate for himself that said he was a genius and another saying he was very healthy.
He drew a picture of himself giving money to charity and still having more money than anybody ever thought he did.
He drew a country called Nambia.
He drew a witch hunt.
He drew a picture of happy people getting tax cuts and great health care and another picture of the government debt going away.
He drew a picture of workers with smiley faces in steel mills. He drew a picture of ships going across the ocean to China with lots of coal and soybeans. He drew a picture of Chinese people waving a white flag.
He drew a picture of the Group of Seven with Russia at the table.
He drew a picture of Greenland with the American flag on it.
He wanted to meet with allies, but he did not have any, so he drew some. They looked happy.
He drew a picture of George Washington’s army fighting at airports!
He drew Democrats as criminals and reporters as traitors.
He drew a weather map with a big, frightening storm!
But there was one thing Donald did not know how to draw: He could not make a picture of Mexico paying him for a wall.
So he drew a picture of the Pentagon paying for the wall by taking money away from 127 projects.
They took money from schools and day care for children of military families. They took money away from a place for troops to eat. They took away fire stations from people who fly planes. They took money from people hurt by storms in Puerto Rico. They took money that protected Japan and South Korea. They took money that protected Europe from Russia. Many people were sad.
But, luckily, Donald kept his wits and his black Sharpie. He drew schools for the children and a dining room and fire stations for the troops. He erased Puerto Rico from the map. He drew Kim Jong Un with valentines instead of bombs so he did not frighten Japan and South Korea. He drew fierce dragons and a moat to protect Europe from Russia. He drew a friendly Vladimir Putin who would not frighten them.
After all this work, Donald was hungry and tired. He drew himself nine Big Macs, and he ate them all. He made his bed, and he drew Melania in it. She was frowning, so he drew a smile on her face. He got in bed and drew up the covers.
The black Sharpie dropped on the floor. And Donald dropped off to sleep.
Diane Ravitch's blog 
LOL. Perfect! Well done, Mr. Milbank!
https://bobshepherdonline.wordpress.com/2019/05/09/donnie-baby/
https://bobshepherdonline.wordpress.com/film/the-loneliness-of-the-teflon-trumpkin-excerpt/
Bob,
Good ones! Thank you.
Thank you, Mr. Milbanki. And thank you, Diane for finding and posting this one.
LMAO right now … good comic relief.
What distinguishes psychosis from neurosis: grossly distorting reality
Get this man out off office, and get him some meds.
I loved the story!! Here’s a better one with some intelligence.
…………….
On this day, 9/11
Marianne Williamson
Dear Friend,
None of us will ever forget where we were on 9/11, or how we learned about the attacks on our country. Our hearts, and our innocence, were shattered on that awful day.
One of the kindest women I’ve ever known, Berry Berenson, was on a morning flight from Boston to Los Angeles. Today I think of her, and the thousands like her, who lost their lives in such a horrible way. I think of her devastated children, and all the other 9/11 family members who had to endure the harrowing experience of losing them.
September 11 is a painful anniversary. We share a collective grief on this day, but it is a grief that is significant. Every year, let’s dedicate ourselves more and more fully to creating a world in which such things no longer happen.
Is it possible to do that? I am reminded of an old rabbinical statement: “You are not obligated to complete the task, but neither are you permitted to abandon it.”
We might not achieve all we would wish to achieve in our lives, but we can move things closer to the goal. Our lives are not defined by what we achieve so much as by what we try our best to achieve. As citizens of the United States, may we try our best to “achieve a more perfect union.” As citizens of the world, may we try our best to achieve a more peaceful world.
Today, we live with a meaningful sorrow. May those who lost their lives on 9/11 live on with God in eternal peace, may those who still mourn them be comforted, and may all of us be deepened by the indelible memory, and the painful lessons, of this day in our shared history.
May we be the ones to change things.
With love,
Marianne
Milbank should publish this as a book (as Stephen Colbert did w/IQ -45’s {props to Lloyd!}–east coast hurricane response, Whose Boat is This Boat?). The profits can be given to Hurricane Dorian relief funds.
Reblogged this on Crazy Normal – the Classroom Exposé and commented:
Donald Trump’s Sharpie has been very busy.
Thanks for this wonderful version of a children’s classic. A book version with a gifted illustrator would be a great, better yet makethe book a fundraiser.
For the curious, here is a brief history of the “Sharpie,” a pen that evolved from a company established in 1857. https://www.sharpie.com/about.
Here is how Trump got his version of a Sharpie pen. Sharpie (the Newell Co.) made his version to “look rich” with his initials made to look like gold. https://amp.businessinsider.com/trump-uses-personalized-sharpie-pen-2018-11
The solvent in Sharpie pens typically used by adults is “ethylene glycol monobutyl ether.” The toxic ingredient in Sharpie is discussed in the llink below where it is noted that
“The monomethyl and monoethyl ethers of ethylene glycol, and their acetate esters, are teratogenic and embryotoxic and cause testicular damage in laboratory animals, while the monobutyl ether causes hemolysis of the red blood cells.” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3051527
You will find elementary school supply lists for Sharpies and all sorts of materials that have not been tested for toxic ingredients. Here is link to a long-standing trade association set up to offer a seal of approval for art supplies that have been determined to be safe for children, with the testing done by Duke University’s Division of Occupational and Environmental Medicine. https://acmiart.org
That was good. I woke up crying this morning, as usual on 9/11, and needed a good laugh.