Our very own blog poet has written a wonderful new poem.
“Jabbertalky” (after Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll, of course)
“Twas brillig, and the billionaires
Did lie and dissemble in the press
All flimsy were Deformer wares
And the charter rats did nest
“Beware the Jabbertalk my son!
The Cores that bite, the tests that catch!
Beware the Coleman bird, and shun
Felonius charters, natch!”
“He took his opt-out sword in hand:
Long time Deformer foe he sought —
So rested he by the Knowledge tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
”And, as in peaceful thought he stood,
The Jabbertalk, with eyes of flame,
Came bumbling through the teaching wood,
And burbled as it came!
“One, two! One, two! And through and through
The opt-out blade went snicker-snack!
He left test dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
“And, has thou slain the Jabbertalk?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
He chortled in his joy.
“Twas brillig, and the billionaires
Did lie and dissemble in the press
All flimsy were Deformer wares
And the charter rats did nest”
Terrific!
Also see this:
The Corporate Plan To Groom U.S. Kids For Servitude By Wiping Out Public Schools | PopularResistance.Org
https://popularresistance.org/the-corporate-plan-to-groom-u-s-kids-for-servitude-by-wiping-out-public-schools/
It’s actually an old one (an old but goody, IMHO), but the “lovely” thing about Deform is that it is as “fresh” (and stinky) today as it was when it first came out of the bull’s hind end.
So the poems remain apt (unfortunately)
SomeDAMPoet: Off the charts wonderful. I am so glad you are back.
and Ed,
You should see the Fordham Institute’s plan for Ohio schools. Here is a brief from the Press release. The document was written just before one of the authors, Paolo DeMaria, a longtime player in Republican politics, was appointed Ohio’s Superintendent of Public Instruction.
The report is titled: Getting Out of the Way: Education Flexibility to Boost Innovation and Improvement in Ohio came from Education First and The Fordham Institute.
From the press promo:
“The Fordham Institute calls for a sweeping deregulation agenda. By cutting through the red tape, on-the-ground leaders will be empowered to recruit, develop, and manage a high-performing staff; innovate new models for education; and custom-tailor their educational approach to the unique needs of students. The suggestions for commonsense reform include:
—Eliminate seniority as a consideration in layoffs of nonteaching employees;
—Expand opportunities for schools to use non-licensed individuals;
—Eliminate districts’ ability to collectively bargain away inherent management rights, including the right to assign staff;
—Eliminate any structural requirements on teacher salary schedules; and
—Allow districts to remove teachers, including tenured ones, if they are evaluated ineffective for more than two years.
—The report also recommends the creation of a simple process that allows district boards to waive certain state regulations and the formation of a high-level working group that would identify and evaluate ideas for further deregulatory action.”
https://edexcellence.net/publications/getting-out-of-the-way-education-flexibility-to-boost-innovation-and-improvement-in
This month, Ohio Philanthropy held “stakeholder response” sessions for a draft plan for Ohio Schools, for the next four years. It is a jargon-filled tome with expressions of love for Teach for America, and for a BROAD-like training program for principals called BRIGHT leading to an MBA and administrative certificate for job shadowing a principal for 10 months. The MBA is from Ohio State. BRIGHT fellows earn a healthy stipend for entering into the program. The Ohio Business Roundtable is active in shaping policy for education, pre-K to post secondary. Here is the draft report on Ohio Policy. EachChild=OurFuture A Strategic Plan for Education in Ohio: 2019-2024
Ohio Philanthropy also intervened as if elected to negotiate state education policies in relation to ESSA. In that case, one of the conveners of “stakeholder sessions” identified herself as the Ohio representative of Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.
Beware the Fordhamtalk*, my son
*Aka, Jabbertalk
It is astounding how many plans these profit seekers can concoct totally void of input from the educational community, parents and students. It is all “sound and fury signifying nothing.” SomeDAMPoet has it right. It’s Jabbertalk.
It’s Jabbertalk from an educational standpoint, but there is nonetheless (insidious) method to their madness.
For example, when they talk about “personalized learning”, nothing could be further from the truth. What it really is is a stealth mechanism for introducing all their favorite deformations into the schools without raising an eyebrow.
By the way, I am convinced that a lot of the terminology that is associated with “reform” actually was concocted by professional ad people. Terminology like “personalized learning” is very cleverly deceptive .
It’s all very slick — too slick to have arisen organically.
Terminology and framing of issues is very important and I seriously doubt that it was left to chance by billionaires like Gates.
SDP,
Professionals in marketing and branding.
ALEC has professional jabbertalkers working on jabber around the clock… Broad Academy trains acolytes to walk the jabberwok and talk the jabbertalk… Every tech monopoly in the world was built on selling smartjabber devices… All this jabbering double talk by teams of jab execs to put our schools in crisis.
retired teacher: touché!
It is astounding how profoundly unoriginal the corporate education reform crowd is in word and deed.
Their one special talent seems to be putting tired old nostrums and clichés into new bottles, claiming they are of brand-new vintage, and selling them at premium prices.
Booooooring…
😎
“Working on jabber around the clock”
Jabbertalk is also known as jabbercrock
“Crock (of manure) around the clock”
One, Two, Three O’clock, Four O’clock crock
Five, Six, Seven O’clock, Eight O’clock crock
Nine, Ten, Eleven O’clock, Twelve O’clock crock
We’re gonna crock around the clock tonight
Put Deformcap on and join me hon’
We’ll have some fun when the clock strikes one
Chorus:
We’re gonna crock around the clock tonight
We’re gonna crock, crock, crock, ’till broad daylight
We’re gonna crock around the clock tonight
When the clock strikes two, three and four
If the lies slow down we’ll yell for more
Chorus
When the chimes ring five, six, and seven
We’ll be right in Rhee-form heaven
Chorus
When it’s eight, nine, ten, eleven too
I’ll be lyin’ strong and so will you
Chorus
When the clock stikes twelve we’ll Rhee-group then
Start crockin’ ’round the clock again
It’s been decades slow brewing in the Koch and Gates jabber crock pot.
Excellent!!!
“Adventures in Deformerland”
“Wonderland”? or “Blunderland”?
Or subject for a muse?
“Dunderland”? or “Plunderland”?
It’s easy to confuse.
Some day, “School Deform” will merit only a brief mention in the history books consisting of something along the following lines
“The Fog Lifter”
The billionaires were beaten
By lady with a blog
Who managed to defeat them
By dissipating fog
Thanks, SDP, THATS THE PLAN.
Thank you, SomeDAM Poet. Right on and one of your best.
MY FAVORITE POEM. I know it by heart. I had a record where Ginger Rogers told the story of Alice in Wonderland.
You are so clever. I think the ‘frumtious bandersnatch’ is Trump, who is snatching everything he can.
I love that poem too.
I have always found it curious that Jabberwocky is categorized as “nonsense verse” because the meaning is there if you just look. Everyone has demons they are trying to slay.
It’s amazing ,(to me, at least) how well this poem (and some other so called “nonsense poems” by Carroll like Walrus and the Carpenter) fit Deform with just a few minor modifications.
That a “nonsense” poem can make perfect sense with the change of just a few words means it was never nonsense to begin with.
Only a David Coleman could consider Jabberwocky “nonsense.”
I love the Walrus and the Carpenter!
I know Susan and Diane (who posted it as a blog post) have seen this before, but I think the Walrus and the Carpenter (another so called “nonsense poem” [not!]) sums up School Deform even better than Jabbertalky
The Billionaire and the Reformer” (parody of The Walrus and the Carpenter, by Lewis Carroll)
The pol was pining for a charter,
pining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The regulations sleight —
Which wasn’t hard, because the guv
Was charter acolyte
The public was pining sulkily,
Because they thought the pol
Had got no business to be there
After the charter stole —
“Incredible of him,” they said,
“To work for charter dole”
The money was tight as tight could be,
The coffers were bare as bare.
You could not see a dollar, cuz
No dollar was in there:
No Race was funding overhead —
There was no Race to fund.
The Billionaire and the Reformer
Were talking under bleachers;
They wept like anything to see
Poor qualities of teachers:
If these were only cleared away,’
Our schools would be like peaches!’
If seven Chetty’s with seven VAMs
VAMmed for half a year,
Do you suppose,’the Billionaire said,
That they could get them clear?’
I doubt it,’ said the Reformer,
And shed a bitter tear.
O students, come and walk with us!’
The Billionaire did beseech.
A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
A better way to teach
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each.’
The eldest student looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest student winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head —
Meaning to say he did not choose
To go with Bill, and fled
But four young students hurried up,
All eager for a fest:
Their hair was brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and best —
And this was odd, because, you know,
They’re going to a test.
Four other students followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more —
All hopping through the student waves
And scrambling to the door.
The Billionaire and the Reformer
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little students stood
And waited in a row.
The time has come,’ the Billionaire said,
To talk of many things:
Of Common Core — and standard tests — of passing score — and VAMs —
And why the schools are failing [Not!] —
And whether pigs have wings.’
But wait a bit,’ the students cried,
Before we have our talk;
For some of us are out of breath,
And some of us can’t walk!’
No hurry!’ said the Reformer.
As patient as a hawk.
A load of bread,’ the Billionaire said,
Is what we chiefly need:
Testing and Common Core besides
Are very good indeed —
Now if you’re ready, students dear,
We can begin to weed.’
But not with us!’ the students cried,
Turning a little blue.
After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!’
The day is fine,’ the Billionaire said.
Do you admire the view?
It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!’
The Reformer said nothing but
‘The cut score won’t suffice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf —
I’ve had to tell you twice!’
It seems a shame,’ the Billionaire said,
To play them such a trick,
After we’ve brought them out so far,
To test them all so quick!’
The Reformer just said nothing but
The opt-out’s spread too thick!’
I weep for you,’ the Billionaire said:
I deeply sympathize.’
With sobs and tears he sorted out
The scores of smallest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.
O students,’ said the Reformer,
You’ve had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?’
But answer came there none —
And this was scarcely odd, because
They’d flunked out every one.”
Another “nonsense poem” that makes perfect sense.
“The Hunting of the Dollar” (after the Hunting of the Snark, The Vanishing, by Lewis Carroll)
They sought it with software, they sought it with hard-
They sought it with tests and with VAMs
They threatened the schools with a “Failing” card
They sought it through charters and scams
They shuddered to think that the cha$e might fail,
And Deformer, excited at last,
Went bounding along on the tip of its tail,
For the chance, it was nearly past.
“There is Thingumbob shouting!” the Billionaire said,
“She is shouting like mad, how she hollars!
She is waving her hands, she is wagging her head,
She has certainly found the dollar$!
They gazed in delight, while Deformer exclaimed
“It was always a desperate roll!”
They beheld her—their Betsy—their hero so named—
On the top of a White House pole
Erect and sublime, for one moment of time,
In the next, that wild figure they saw
(As if stung by a spasm) plunge into a chasm,
While they waited and listened in awe.
“It’s a Dollar!” was the sound that first came to their ears,
And seemed almost too good to be true.
Then followed a torrent of laughter and cheers:
Then the ominous words “It’s a Boo—”
Then, silence. Some fancied they heard in the air
A weary and wandering sigh
That sounded like “-jum!” but the others declare
It was only a breeze that went by.
They hunted till darkness came on, but they found
Not a penny or nickel or buck
By which they could tell that they stood on the ground
Where Deformer had drunk to his luck
In the midst of the word he was trying to say,
In the midst of his laughter and glee,
He had softly and suddenly vanished away—
For the Dollar was Boojum, you see.