Peter Greene read the story in the New York Times about the new trend of paging teachers to promote your brand, inside and outside the classroom, and he imagined the classroom of the future, where commercialism reigns.
“Good morning,children, and welcome to today’s classes in the Mr. Edbrand Fifth Grade Room, brought to you by Exxon here at Apple Elementary School. I’ll remind you that all Samsung devices and Microsoft Surface tablets must be placed in the big box just outside the door. As usual we’ll be recording and webcasting today, and only properly sponsored materials can be shown on camera.
Oh, Chris– you brought in your signed clearances from home? Excellent– you can finally move your desk out of the cupboard and join your classmates on camera.
Today we’re going to continue working on this week’s essay, “Why Pepsi Is the Most Refreshing Drink.” Remember, we’re going to be writing them with the new Edutech Markotron 5000s that came in yesterday. No, Ronny– you’re trying to hold your Markotron like a pen or pencil– just flip your wrist so your hand is upside down and backwards– the Markotrons work fine if you just change the way you write. At recess we’ll be trying out the new game from EduGo– did everyone sign their decline-of-liability forms? And while at your work stations, remember not to slouch so that the new DataGrabber Mining Module can track every part of your facial expressions.
I’ll also remind you that part of your class requirement is to post a picture from class on Instagram or Twitter; remember, you only get credit if you use the hashtag #MrEdbrandTeaches, because every day what…? That’s right– “Every day I’m increasing my digital footprint.”
After lunch we’ll be filming the spots for the demo of EduGadget’s Gramminator– the ones we rehearsed for the last few days– so make sure you get your face and hair all straightened out before then. Remember– we’re doing two versions, one with all the white kids in the front and another with all the white kids in the back. It’s so EduGadget can use them in different markets, dear. We’ll do that right after the Faberware Super Writing Center.
Diane Ravitch's blog 
Imagined? With a few minor phrase substitutions, this is non-fiction.
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SCREAM! Is nothing sacred? Sick.
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Diane, You posted this one week ago, on September 4th, here: https://dianeravitch.net/2017/09/04/peter-greene-the-branded-classroom-of-tomorrow/
Did you forget or did you just think it’s very clever and so you wanted to send it out again? Or am I missing something else? (Maybe I am having a senior moment.)
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Clearly, I had a senior moment!
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If you watched something other than the news about the hurricane, you may have seen all or part of the “Entertainment Industry Foundation
Presents: XQ Super School Live” an effort to rebrand the idea of high school. I gather that the multi-channel presentation with rock-star personalities treated education as if it was a charity in need of celebrity backing and entertainment value in order to be worthy of attention. This event was an example of what marketing expert Douglas Holt calls cultural branding.
Branding is in.
Here in river city we have an outfit called the Brandery. It is known as an ”accelerator” a place where entrepreneurs convene, get access to marketing talent, learn about the skill sets they need from “elite” mentors (also called rock-star mentors) from local but “world-class companies such as Procter & Gamble, dunnhumby, and Kroger. The Brandery training program is four months long. It offers $50K for a 6% equity stake in each startup, a year of free office space and other monetized benefits, including low cost housing in a building with other upstarts. The premise is simple: If you are “consumer-focused you must be brand-focused.”
DeVos and others in want to treat education as a consumer service or product. Parents and students as customers who need to be satisfied. For school accountability, ESSA now allows the equivalent of customer satisfaction surveys, called school climate surveys, with branded versions like Panorama attracting high profile investors seeking profits from data. These investors include Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan’s Startup:Education. and Google Ventures.
Similar surveys are marketed by the non-profit schoolclimate.org. The non-profit offers at least seven branded and trademarked products and slogans which, according to the Terms of Service, I am not supposed to mention: “All trademarks, service marks, trade names and trade dress, whether registered or unregistered that appear on the Site, including, but not limited to, “—” “—”, “—”, “—”,”—”, “—” and “—” are proprietary to NSCC or their respective owners (collectively the “Marks”). You may not display or reproduce the Marks other than with the prior written consent of NSCC, and you may not remove or otherwise modify any trademark notices from any Content received through the Site.” This website also has a privacy policy announcing that it collects personally identifiable information, http://www.schoolclimate.org/programs/csci.php
Getting your branding right is more important than ever.
On the radio today I heard about Brandutainment. Here is how it is marketing itself.
Brandutainment is “An Alternative Branding Method to the Traditional Noise in the Form of Solution Driven Content.”
“Unlike traditional Brand Integration, instead of plugging the product or brand into the programming or content, we wrap the storyline around your brand and product, while positioning it as a solution to a lifestyle challenge.
Brandutainment allows for an introduction of the product to the consumer in a non-interruptive way, while they are tuned into the program and interested in being educated about it, while being entertained and engaged with your brand. Some call it Social Media on TV, we call it a Brand New World!”
ENTERTAIN— Attract interest and create a pleasurable experience with programming that triggers emotion, thought, and BRAND Interest.
EDUCATE—Develop knowledge of a BRAND through the application of skill, character, instruction, and teaching consumers how to better their lives.
ENGAGE—The promise of a BRAND to draw in, involve, attract attention and occupy a place in the consumers’ mind under the power of the BRAND
Consider a related operation called BRANDUSELL™
This is “A Multi-Media Integrated Direct Response Campaign That Supports Branding and Selling Simultaneously.”
We believe that selling to a market that doesn’t know your brand is a “cold sell,” that’s why we integrate our Brandutainment method into our Direct Response initiatives for a successful ROI maximized formula, which we call Brelling.
Brelling is the combination of Brand education and entertainment supported by an aggressive Direct Sell multi-channel campaign, on-air and on-line to drive direct leads and purchase. (The jargon is thick, not maximized for clarity).
And one more: BRANDULIFT™
“Creating Consumer Swarming Affect Through Continuity Using On-Air, Online and On the Ground Interactions.
On-Air—Develop trust in consumers’ minds through continuity in educational programming supported by spot messaging and BRAND promotion.
Online—Interact with consumers through targeted communities, special interest clubs and media channels, while engaging them with your BRAND.
In a fascinating article in the Harvard Business Review (March 2016) Douglas Holt offers a look a traditional branding strategies and “Branding in the Age of Social Media.” I recommend it as a foil for thinking about the narratives about public education, and how this generation is learning to think about themselves and issues in their lives. I am still thinking this through for myself. It is hard work for me, perhaps because I am not a digital native or fan of Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and the like.
I am still boggled by this snakeoil pitch.
“Develop trust in consumers’ minds through continuity in educational programming supported by spot messaging and BRAND promotion.”
Am I just old and cranky or is this really where educational programming is headed?.
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Trump is a genius at branding.
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