Mercedes Schneider shares her wonderful bonds with her most challenging students:
“Just thought I’d share one lesson I have learned from my public school students:
“The ones who tend to push me the most and require the toughest discipline usually end up loving me the most.
“They also learn to respect authority in the process– an indispensable life lesson.
“I have seen this reality come to pass numerous times over the years. The student challenges me, pushes the limits and is disciplined, pushes again and again and is disciplined–
“–and expects me to retaliate, to hate, to criticize, to refuse to help when assistance with classwork is needed.
“But no hate comes. No grudge. No refusal to help.
“Then one day, breakthrough.
“It might be sooner than later. Sometimes it is later than sooner.
“What happens is that a trust is established and a relationship is forged. That doesn’t mean there is no longer a need for discipline. What it means is that the student trusts me and understands (and even comes to value) the discipline when it must come.
“These moments I consider the gems of teaching and learning.
“These moments defy capture on any standardized test or school grading rubric.”
Diane Ravitch's blog 
The students are grateful they are seen. Thank goodness for teachers.
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Agreed. Of course, usually, you get what you put into whatever you are doing. Yeah, it takes extra effort. But I’ve found that those classes that take that additional work often end up accomplishing a lot more.
Many years ago I had a class of ninth graders in our small school that was somewhat notorious for being smart but a bit hard to deal with. There were a lot of guys and intense energy and they could be challenging. This was back when professional wrestling was at one of its peaks and some of these students were into that big time. I was teaching Global Studies so I made up a fake one of those championship wrestling belts out of cardboard and decorated it with glitter and whatever. Then I created the “World History Wrestling League” and we’d have these competitions involving Jeopardy-style questions based on the class content. The winner got to wear the belt. We ended up having a lot of fun. I’ve run into some of those guys who are now well into their mid-30s and they ask me, “Hey, do you still have the belt?” I ended up being good friends with many members of that class.
Trump dabbled in professional wrestling from what I understand. He would have lasted about 20 minutes with that particular class back in their prime. They would have eaten him up for breakfast. I can just imagine them goofing on him. And, of course, the more he overreacted and acted like a pompous jerk, the more they would have chewed him right up.
On a side note…..it’s a tragedy that intelligent, humane people like Mercedes aren’t sitting in White House right now. We’ve got plenty of thoughtful people in this country. It just keeps hitting me, more than anything. Trump….what a waste.
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A few years ago I had a very bright and very bullying 9th grade student. She spent the bulk of class refusing to work, being intentionally cutting and rude and was pretty much a ring leader. She spent a lot of time challenging everything and arguing. It was not personal. It was not a bad home, as I knew her siblings and mother. It was a way to define herself, like many adolescents, as an iconoclast.
Fast forward a few years later and out of the blue I get this stunning and sweet email of apology and appreciation from her where she acknowledges how much that she learned from me. I was surprised because she was so vehemently nasty to me. That said, it was a reminder that I have good instincts about kids’ motivations, and that I have fair rules.
This is why I dislike classroom surveys for middle or high school students. I don’t think some of these kids are mature enough to evaluate a teacher. Had she been able to evaluate me she herself acknowledged that she would have been unfair. Kids are kids. It is our job to guide them, and sometimes that involves push back.
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BTW Love your nom de internet. Is the shortened version, TAFKATOT ?
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Years ago I had an elementary ESL student that was bright, but totally unfocused. He was full of life and had a great sense of humor, but he often spent his recess with me due to his wasting time. Years later when he was in college, he came back to apologize for being so much trouble. He said now he could reflect back and realized I only wanted what was best for him. I appreciated the gesture, but told him he wasn’t a big problem as he was never disrespectful, and that I was proud of him for moving forward in his life. We still communicate on social media, and today he is a regional sales representative for a big company and a husband and father.
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I taught for decades, and I found the same thing . Most of the time, my most difficult students were the most grateful. They figured out that I offered something in turn for their respect… I offered real learning, real skills, and I always made it interesting and often great fun, too.
The only ones that did not come around were the real psychopaths, kids so hurt and damaged that their only behavior was destructive, and they derived pleasure or some internal benefit form destruction.
THAT was why a teacher needs support.
This changed in the last 2 years of my career, when the administration wanted me gone — so I could be replaced with a novice with a low salary who would accept the curricula crap that was being created by the EDUCATIONAL INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX
https://greatschoolwars.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/eic-oct_11.pdf in order to create utter collapse of the school systems privatize the education.
Suddenly, the principals, (there were 5 in 8 years ) would encourage disruptive students. Example: a parent conference would be attended by the principal…something that had never been the case in my 40 yrs.
In one case, a child that was literally tearing the school down, the parent asked if I was Christian!
In credulous, I replied with the equivalent of “What , Wait!”
MY NAME IS SCHWARTZ he knew!
The parent then “explained’ that Christians don’t lie like jews do.”
I got up, took my purse, and prepared to leave, when the principal ORDERED ME TO SIT DOWN!
He then wrote a file letter saying that I was ‘uncooperative’ with a paretn….
and this incident was neither uncommon, or the worst that I endured from the last 2 principals, in the school I put on the map, when I was one of the most celebrated educators in the STATE!
http://www.opednews.com/author/author40790.html
Oh, yes.. I grieveda,d lost.
In fact, with one exception, I lost all my grievances, until I hired an atrotney and filed a lawsuit… at great expense…. that is another story of how the war on teachers, red in the nineties, while FAKE NEWS sold alternative facts about those incompetent, very bad, no good, tenured teachers.
Sure wish SOMEONE would finally tell the tale of the greatest scandal in our history, how civil rights for hundreds of thousands of GREAAT teachers DISAPPEARED, SO THT KIDS WHO NEED US MOST, WOULD NEVER GET THE BENEFIT of our experience and expertise.
http://www.perdaily.com/2011/01/lausd-et-al-a-national-scandal-of-enormous-proportions-by-susan-lee-schwartz-part-1.html
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As teachers, I think many of us can totally identify with Mercede’s experience in all kinds of ways. I know that I immediately understood and could relate. There are so many different scenarios that happen on a daily basis that are so important and SO NOT QUANTIFIABLE with DATA.
How about getting a fearful child with autism to trust you by allowing yourself as a teacher to follow his lead until you are finally able to make a suggestion that he try something and see if it will work and to trust you because if it doesn’t work he just has to say so and you’ll step it back. That trust that was built up enables him to let go a bit. That child agrees, tries that something new (not describing the whole scenario here as it would be too long) and feels a benefit from it.
Is This kind of trust-building MEASURABLE via data? Does this need to be measured for outside sources or is this part of a teacher’s professional goals – to do what is necessary to help learning take place? The age of data obsession needs to stop and we need to start allowing teachers to teach again… believing that teachers are actually professionals in their field and can make the necessary choices for students without micro-management.
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Agreed, though there’s not always a “break through”. I think what matters is that someone cares enough to try to set limits and teach discipline. I also think the discipline has to be tempered with encouragement and balanced by praise. Along these lines, I also caution young teachers that students are always watching you, as well as listening. Even when it seems they aren’t. They’ll be sensitive to whether a teacher is being hypocritical or disingenuous. It also means your actions and words, as a teacher, have an impact on students that may not be apparent. And none of the lessons about growing up, compassion for others, being responsible, etc., show up on any test anywhere, except in life. Let a computer do that.
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