Alexandra Petri now admits that she did not write the totally accurate description of Donald Trump’s inauguration. She did not admit that the crowd was the largest ever in the history of the world. She failed to acknowledge that A-List singers were competing to see which would be allowed to sing.
That was a day for the history books, also for science fiction and the fantasy section of the book store.
She begins:
Nothing that has ever happened or will ever happen was as great as Donald Trump’s inauguration.
The crowd was magnificent and huge, bigger than any crowd had ever been before! It stretched all the way to the moon. The Pope, who was there, confirmed it.
“Thanks for being here, Pope,” Donald Trump told him.
“Are you kidding? You’re my best friend,” the Pope said. “I wouldn’t miss your big day for anything!” He gave Donald Trump a big high-five.
Everyone in the world had come there at great expense. They sold all their possessions — their homes, their “Hamilton” tickets, which were worthless to them — to raise money to come and see this great sight. They could not believe that a perfect being such as Donald Trump even existed. They thought that he was a myth or a legend or a decades-long series of fabrications.
But then they saw him, and their doubts fell away.
The media was there, too, and they were very sorry. “Donald,” the newscasters said, “we were mean to you. We used to laugh and call you names. We were no better than all of the other reindeer. How can you ever forgive us?”
“Forgive you?” Donald Trump asked. “I’ve already forgotten.” He smiled a big, beautiful smile. That was just who Donald Trump was: forgiving, like Jesus, but blond.
It was a wonderful start to the day.

What a wonderful (and accurate) story. But you forgot about the ring (spelled: a-s-s) kissing. That’s even MORE true.
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Yes. Fantasy is wonderful for deniers and liars such as Trump and his cronies.
Meanwhile, in another part of Trump’s kingdom:
Copiague Teachers Kneel During Pledge On Trump Inauguration Day | PopularResistance.Org
https://popularresistance.org/copiague-teachers-kneel-during-pledge-on-trump-inauguration-day/
The pledge is cult-like brainwashing of young minds, especially since “one nation under God” was inserted during the McCarthy era, violating the separation of church & state.
I stopped mouthing it a few years after I started teaching.
The fact that the teachers had to show remorse later for their silent, non-disruptive protest is shameful.
“Remorse” for silently protesting the inauguration of a fascist ignoramus? Now THAT’s some lesson for the students, isn’t it? The Gestapo would approve.
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From the article, part of the district’s response (god, I’ve seen this shit before, personally):
“The district is aware of an incident that occurred Friday morning involving two high school staff members who interrupted the educational process of a first period class in Walter G. O’Connell Copiague High School by engaging in a form of personal protest,” the district said in a statement posted online Sunday morning. “We take this matter very seriously, and an internal investigation is continuing to ascertain all of the relevant facts. Please be assured that neither the Board of Education nor District Administration condones such conduct in the classroom in any fashion, and will take appropriate action in response.”
“. . . interrupted the educational process. . . ” Adminimal legalese at it’s finest. I’m sure that will be included in the letter of reprimand and then when they don’t kowtow and bow down and grovel with such remorse as deemed proper and necessary by said adminimals, they will be given a second letter for being insubordinate for not being sufficiently contrite and then be hauled before a higher up adminimal to be given a final chance to redeem and denounce themselves and to wear the cilice. If not then a third letter of insubordination will be forthcoming.
Without the willing contriteness the authorities lose their authority. No remorse is worse than acceptance of punishment. The ounce of flesh must be extracted at all costs!
Just beautiful adminimal work to enforce compliance and remorse of any and all who would dare to question anything.
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The comments at the end of her story on the website are also very good. Ridicule is all we have now. It will take a couple of years of policies to put our nation on its existential edge before leading and grassroots Republicans will wake up. Unfortunately, that’s the consistent thread in all histories of political resistance against governing regimes. And even then, few are successful. Usually the best they can do is inform future generations until those lessons become forgotten again.
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That’s funny! My laughter helped rid my body of some anger. Favorite part was comparison to Jesus.
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Sigh. Orwell is laughing, but all my most intelligent colleagues and friends, are in mourning and despairing.
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