The poem below was written by Holly White, an English teacher and parent. I asked her to explain why she wrote it, and she did. Oh, when you read the poem, you will come to the acronym HEDI, which means “highly effective, effective, developing, and ineffective,” the ratings given to teachers based on test scores and observations.
Holly White writes:
“After graduating from Colgate University in the small town of Hamilton, NY, I was given the opportunity to stay in Hamilton and pursue my career as an English teacher. I have taught at HCS, the community’s P-12 public school, for 14 years. I’m proud of our creative and talented students, of our incredibly dedicated faculty and staff, and of the broader Hamilton community that supports us.
“As a teacher, and as a parent with two children in elementary school, corporate education reform is often on my mind, especially during testing season. One evening in early March, I was reading a few Dr. Seuss books to my children. I paused in the middle of the book “Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?” after reading the following passage:
Out west, near Hawtch-Hawtch,
there’s a Hawtch-Hawtcher Bee-Watcher.
His job is to watch…
is to keep both his eyes on the lazy town bee.
A bee that is watched will work harder, you see.
Well…he watched and he watched.
But, in spite of his watch,
that bee didn’t work any harder. Not mawtch.
So then somebody said,
“Our old bee-watching man
just isn’t bee-watching as hard as he can.
He ought to be watched by another Hawtch-Hawtcher!
The thing that we need
is a Bee-Watcher-Watcher!
“After tucking my kids into bed, I still couldn’t shake the image of the Hawtch-Hawtchers lining up to watch the “lazy town bee.” I pulled out my laptop and–attempting to channel Seuss’s use of verbal irony and absurdity–wrote for the next four hours.”
A Portrait of Education Reform, Inspired by Dr. Seuss
We said students would be proficient, all 100 percent!
But the year 2014, it came and it went…
There’d been little improvement after 12 years of tests,
So we searched till we found the most “rigorous” ones yet.
What those teachers must need is more accountability,
Then they’ll surely work harder, every he and each she.
As soon as they hear about APPR,
They’ll take their feet off their desks, make their lessons five-star,
And strive to earn back the public’s trust
(A tough task, since they’ve been treated with scorn and disgust).
Once they know that we’re watching, and changing cut scores,
And counting all the 1’s, 2’s, 3’s, and 4’s,
They’ll teach and they’ll prep and they’ll drill for the test,
They’ll strive for a HEDI score that shows they’re the best,
They’ll cut back on art, science, creative writing
(The things they say students find most exciting).
They’ll overcome all of those pitiful excuses:
Poverty? Absenteeism? Hunger? Abuses?
Learning disabilities? Disobedient teens?
And kids who don’t read, but just stare at their screens?
Each student is different, learns at his own pace?
What’s that you say – learning isn’t a race?
No more excuses! With 40 minutes a day,
They can mold kids and shape them in every which way
(They can start in first grade, which is no place for play).
And all the while, schools’ funding will slow,
Because the harder we make things, the better they’ll go.
Each student will succeed, a year’s worth they’ll grow,
They’ll all factor trinomials and use “soak-a-toe”
If their teacher works hard like a real go-getter,
If she only works harder and faster and better…
But here I must pause in this poetic pretense,
(It’s been hard not to laugh while spouting nonsense).
Silly teachers, good luck being “highly effective,”
The system’s designed to say you’re flawed and defective.
The problem is, as by now you can probably tell,
Who’d want “reforms” if they knew teachers were doing well?
That just like most doctors, nurses, and crossing guards,
Most teachers are competent and already work hard.
What would happen to Pearson, McGraw, hedge fund investors,
Charter schools, EMOs, boards of directors?
Education’s a great source of new revenue,
The possibilities abound, and profits accrue.
But please, keep this between us; no one else needs to know.
As long as no one speaks up, then onward we’ll go…
by Holly White, HCS teacher

That’s a 100 size font TAGRO!!
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Duane Swacker:
What you said!
😎
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Holly White: Your poem is wonderful! I hope it is disseminated far and wide for all to read.
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Holly, much appreciated this poem, needs to reach the public…well done!
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Fabulous! Your creativity and insight are inspiring as they must be to all the students who have been fortunate to call you teacher throughout t=your career!
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Bravo to you Holly!
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“But please, keep this between us; no one else needs to know.
As long as no one speaks up, then onward we’ll go…”
. . . NO!, NO! NO! Theodor shouts NO!
From the school tops let it be heard
That we won’t put up with the absurd
The deformers and privateers need be brought out to light
To face their destruction, pillage and blight. . .
. . . So that the town’s young learners
Need not be tortured nor squirmers
But happy and joyous abecedariers.
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Great poem, Holly!
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Dr. Seuss makes a great point about being watched and you totally applied it to today’s teachers! Hope this poem spreads far and near!!!
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WOW. That was just perfect. That was beautiful. What a great teacher Holly must be!
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Wonderful! So Seussian sounding!
Yes, you are right: the point is to find us defective. My years growth is based on 3/4 of the year instruction, as our test is in March. I am sure if I start hitting that they will move the goal posts and expect me to get two years growth.
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Okay I’ll time myself reading Holly’s work. Hope it will be under 3 minutes. We get three minutes to speak at school board meetings.
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We get three minutes, too. Someone has decided on the maximum amount of time to give speakers that will allow them to think someone actually cares without disrupting the actual agenda. There must be a business memo somewhere that morphed into mantra.
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Holly’s got the guide
Spread it far and wide!
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I love this! Amazing talent. But one question – can anyone explain the “soak-a-toe” reference? Sorry to be dumb!
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If I remember high school math correctly, I think it refers to a mnemonic device for remembering trigonometry formulas: SOHCAHTOA or something like that. Sine=Opposite over Hypotenuse, etc.
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Thank-you! Now it makes sense.
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I did a talk on Dr. Seuss for Read Across America Day (March 2nd, his birthday) and I showed the students how Dr. Seuss shared his politics in his stories. The Lorax was quite controversial because many said Seuss was “anti-business”. His book, The Sneetches, is a tale against bigotry, and because of it, many people thought Seuss was Jewish. The irony there is he is actually German-American and his family experienced prejudice during WWI. I think all teachers should read Hooray for Diffendoofer Day. It was published posthumously with additions by Jack Prelutsky & Lane Smith. It’s about taking the “Test”.
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Magnificent! Suess would be proud of you.
Wrote this around Christmas time.
Every Who down in Schoolville liked Learning a lot
But the Grinch who lived just North of Schoolville did not!
The Grinch hated Learning! He didn’t get the real reason!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes,
He stood there in disbelief, hating the Schools,
Staring down from his (ivory) tower with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted classrooms below in their town,
For he knew every Who down in Schoolville beneath
Was sleeping peacefully now – not expecting a thief.
“And they’re reading their novels,” he snarled with a sneer.
“Not a single close reader skipping context I fear”
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I must find some way to stop their interest in learning!
For, tomorrow, I know all the school girls and guys
Will wake bright and curious, not yet traumatized
And then! Oh, then they’ll start asking why. Why, why, why, why
There’s one thing I hate, its kids asking why!
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That is wonderful, only trouble is it made me want to cry. Such an appalling situation, so we’ll described.
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Love it!
Dr. Seuss pretty obviously had school reformers (or at least their mentality) in mind when he wrote a lot of his stuff.
It’s really hard to say which is better suited: Dr. Seuss or Lewis Carroll. I think it may be a tross-up.
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Thanks for sharing this Diane. Holly’s poem is brilliant. It describes the absurdity of performance assessment in a way no one can miss the tragedy of it all. Great comments too!
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