Anna Shah-bomba is a parent in New York who attended a Common Core forum and was startled to be dismissed as a member of a “special interest” group by the state commissioner of education. To help other parents advocate for their children, she wrote this post:.
She asks, “Are you “that parent”?
She begins like this:
“Advocating in a small school district presents a challenge on many fronts. Sometimes, its hard to rally other parents so that your cause has enough strength and/or support that will actually make a change.
You may feel like your voice is drowned out by the chatter of nothingness.
You may feel powerless or that your efforts are fruitless.
You may question why bother doing this at all.
You may feel alone but, I assure you, that you are not.
Some parents are quick to complain but slow to take action.
Others are simply too scared to step up lest they be singeled out and ostracized by their peers.
Many parents support you secretly but are afraid to show it in school because they fear backlash from unscrupulous officials or that their friends wont approve.
Many parents worry that they wil be labelled or known as “that parent” which is apparently a derogatory term.
Lets face it, no one wants to be “that parent” after all.
You know who “that parent” is….”
Read it all.
Diane Ravitch's blog 
I know because I am “that parent”. I really don’t care any more. Too many children are ignored because they don’t fit into the “normal” model they have set up. Well, that’s too bad!!!! I fight for my child because if I don’t no one else will!!!! He will get left behind. Because they don’t care. They will just push him through somehow like they did me. I have no respect for the adminstrations running our schools because all they care about is the dollar. How much will it cost us. It’s not about how can we help these children and parents or our community as a whole. That is does not exist. It’s every man for himself!!! I am Mommy Bulldog and proud of it!!! My child knows I did everything humanly possible to help him. I did and I am and always will.
I agree with ZenQi:
My child (now in 9th grade) was forced to take Pre-Algebra two years in a row because she did not qualify for the honors class who took Algebra 1 in 8th grade.
By the time I realized what was happening it was too late in the year (November) to switch her out even if the district admins would allow it which they stonewalled me on it.
What parents need to realize is that the way the school systems are structured, there is a perverse financial incentive for those above the classroom to engage in “massive cover your rear end.”
There are a few good admins but the vast majority go along to get along and will not jeopardize their 6-figure salaries to buck the system.
As they say, “Houston, we have a problem.”
“. . . There are a few good admins but the vast majority go along to get along. . .”
Going Along to Get Along (GAGA): Nefarious practice of most educators who implement the edudeformers agenda even though the educators know that those educational malpractices will cause harm to the students and defile the teaching and learning process. The members of the GAGA gang are destined to be greeted by the Karmic Gods of Retribution upon their passing from this realm.
Karmic Gods of Retribution: Those ethereal beings specifically evolved to construct the 21st level in Dante’s Hell. The 21st level signifies the combination of the 4th (greed), 8th (fraud) and 9th (treachery) levels into one mega level reserved especially for the edudeformers and those, who, knowing the negative consequences of the edudeformers agenda, willing implemented it so as to go along to get along. The Karmic Gods of Retribution also personally escort these poor souls, upon their physical death, to the 21st level unless they enlighten themselves, a la one D. Ravitch, to the evil and harm they have caused so many innocent children, and repent and fight against their former fellow deformers. There the edudeformers and GAGAers will lie down on a floor of smashed and broken ipads and ebooks curled in a fetal position alternately sucking their thumbs to the bones while listening to two words-Educational Excellence-repeated without pause for eternity.
Those who wish to bring burden and stress to public school as a whole are betting on the fear of parents either not wanting to be “that parent,” or in those who are “that parent,” but the ones who do not see the value of strength in community—the “I’ll take my ball and go home” type.
Parents are all we have, really, to save and strengthen public schools from averse forces.
It would not surprise me at all to find that Arne Duncan and David Coleman colluded to stamp all adversaries of Common Core as “Tea Partiers”. Many parents and teachers have become silent because of the angst at being labeled with this politically Right delineation.
As I mentioned before, I too was shouted at when trying to speak in public comment at a Democratic Club meeting where only one side of Common Core was presented to an audience by a teacher paid to do so, and a BoE member whose specialty is equine husbandry, not education.
It was shocking. When I introduced myself as a lifetume educator, and a lifetime progressive, these two “experts’ and the Dem president shouted that I was a ‘plant’ by the Tea Party, and they told me, not asked me, to leave the room.
I imagine this is going on at public informational meetings nationwide. It is the Goebbels big lie syndrome to shut down true educators and dedicated parents from informing the public of the vast downside to Common Core. If these oligarchs can shut down our voices and impose their own mandated methodology on public schools, then all is lost and we are truly a fascistic nation.
We must all lean in and keep our voices heard. Thank you Zen for having the courage to be a true advocate for your children…and thus, for all children.
“. . . teachers have become silent because of the angst at being labeled with this politically Right delineation.”
Man if that’s all it takes to shut them up. . . . . .
Couldn’t care less what one decides to call me. Been called many thing worse than “Tea Partier”. If one doesn’t have the cojones to stand up to the bullies, well. . . do they deserve what they get?
Joanna…although I am generally in total agreement with you, I feel that parents are not “all we have” to raise voices against this demagogry. We have teachers, voters, organizers, even some legislators, to join with parents, so that there is a rising power base to fight against these greed merchants of society.
Ellen Lubic
Fair enough.
I over stated it.
🙂
“. . . these greed merchants of society.”
Good turn of phrase!!
Though I prefer to call them avaricious bastards, yours is more socially acceptable.
I am “that parent” and have been since my 11th grader was in kindergarten and continued with my 4th grader. I proudly wear that badge, since most mommies are too afraid to speak up like I have done many times over the years. A lot of the things that no longer happen in my district is because of my BIG, fearless mouth. I also don’t latch on to other parents in the school in order to become their best buddies, so I don’t concern myself with getting singled out and/or ostracized.
Proud to be “that parent,” too.
I don’t know how many times I have told parents that they needed to be staunch supporters of their children. In every district in which I have worked, special ed teachers were told not to recommend services because the district would have to provide them. Of course, we also could be scapegoated if a parent complained about what teachers were not doing. It was an epiphany for me when I was confronted by an administrator colluding with a parent to try to demonize me. I was forced to use the union to back me up. The administrator had to back down, but I knew I was done. Sure enough, my reviews read like fantasies, and I was terminated despite the support of my team. In general, though, parents were more than supportive, but many of them needed help in advocating for their child. They needed to know that they were not being unreasonable in their expectations.
I counsel students and parents to challenge administrative decisions if they believe they are wrong. I try to give them the “big picture” so that they can see where the administrator is coming from and why they made the decision they did (and that picture is not usually very flattering of the decision) so that they can then attack it at it’s weakest point.
“That parent” is analogous to “that teacher.” Same problem, in small districts and large.
I am tired of all the parents who don’t want to be that parent.
Great blog post. Up at night, waterfall of tears, kindergarten and all of it.
Damn straight I’m “that parent” and the best thing to come from this entire mess is that suddenly I’m right in the thick of this with a whole bunch of other “that parent” types and let me tell you, these are the exact kind of folks I want to be in with.
Thank you to Diane Ravitch for picking up my blog post and sharing it. Words not express how grateful I am to you for all you do on behalf of children, teachers and each and every one of us who stands tall and is proud to be That Parent!
Thanks everyone for the comments, support and for sharing your stories! Keep them coming!
Paula Myer, yes…there is That Teacher too…
http://wp.me/p44iDJ-g6
Like the concept of “That Teacher”. I’d gladly wear that moniker (and do) over “badass teacher” any day. I’ve heard it many times before with peoples eyes rolling in their head, heads shaking in a disapproving fashion, “Oh, that’s just Swacker commenting”, “That Swacker comes up with the craziest stuff. ” “Where does Swacker get that stuff?” (my friggin brain) “That Swacker doesn’t seem to understand” (go along to get along, and I never will)
Great idea, sotny!!
Duane Swacker- been there! 🙂
Thanks for the support, it is much appreciated!
Reblogged this on Schools of Thought Hudson Valley, NY and commented:
Math exams next week. Are YOU that parent? Own it. Refuse the test!
proud to be “that parent”