Bruce Baker of Rutgers has reviewed the research on effective schools and designed a “research-based” school that is guaranteed to produce higher test scores.

He calls his school the “Econometric Academy of Achievement Test Excellence.”

Every teacher will have exactly four years of experience, no more, no less, because research shows that is the point of maximum impact on test scores.

Students will be loaded with carbs on testing days.

Students will be renamed prior to entry into the school, because certain types of names are associated with low scores while others are associated with high scores.

All teacher salaries will be based entirely on loss aversion tied to test scores gains.

Really.

This is so good you have to read it yourself.

And maybe you will conclude that we need not school reform but reform of the zany ideas that now dominate the research agenda. Maybe call it the “nutty professor reform movement.”