Thanks to all those who have inquired about my health. I was on Long Island in a remote location, no one nearby, when I tripped and landed on my left knee on April 5. I was alone, had no cell phone, and had to drag myself inch by inch into the house to reach a phone. Within minutes, the town’s fire department and police officers arrived to put me in a stretcher and take me to the localhospital. One of my sons took a bus that night so he could drive me to Brooklyn the next morning. On May 9, I had major surgery: a total knee replacement. I spent five days in the Hospital for Special Surgery, then a week in a rehab hospital. Then home on Long Island, where I needed a walker to get around.
I will be candid. I was in terrible pain, couldn’t sleep at night, and suffered deep depression. I continued physical therapy, first at home, then at a clinic about ten minutes from my home. My depression was profound. I felt physically depleted and couldn’t get over how dramatically my life had changed, how my horizons had shrunk. I kept blogging because I needed to keep my mind active. But again, in candor, I had very little energy to get out of bed most days.
About two weeks ago, I started to feel better. I watched movies that made me laugh. I stopped thinking all the time about how miserable I was. I started thinking more about other people. I switched from a walker to a cane. Then one day the physical therapist told me to leave the cane at her door. I walked like Frankenstein. Then, when my scar healed, I started using a pool. Not to swim, but to flex my leg. I still don’t have full range of motion, still can’t straighten or fully flex my leg.
But I’m walking again. I have the urge to write more than blogs, and I have something in mind though not yet on paper. I still have sharp pain in my knee but it is not continuous. I often wake up at 3 am in pain.
Best of all, I am not depressed anymore. I am feeling that I will get better. I have stopped feeling sorry for myself. I am glad I landed on my knee instead of my head as I would have bled to death, due to the fact that I take blood thinners and any major injury can cause me to bleed to death.
I think I will emerge from this ordeal with some changed ideas. I know what it feels like to be disabled, even if only temporarily. I still feel an urgent need to stop the theft of public education, but I intend to write more and travel less. I will save more time to spend with those I love. I can never repay the partner who took such good care of me and put up with my deepest depression and despair. I will walk more slowly and watch where I am going.
I am not completely recovered. I expect it will be September before I feel recovered. At least, I hope so. I hope I have learned to be grateful for life, for friendship, for those who helped me, for those who didn’t let me give up, for those who taught me patience. Now I will try to practice what I have learned.
Diane Ravitch's blog 
Man, Diane, I did not know all of this! You made it through but boy, does it put everything in perspective. I am glad you are on the mend! You got the care you needed and made the long journey up the hill to recovery! Take good care of yourself!!
By now, you know that I wish you all the best, and that I KNOW that you are THE ONE who made the Gates slimy machinations visible, just as you told Bush: “What the??” when he began his push to end the institution that IS education and leave all children behind.
I am an ‘old lady’ in her seventies, also a Brooklynite, with 2 sons and 4 grandkids (2 who are home-schooled in Austin, Texas.) It is 16 years since my sudden, unexpected downFALL, so I have done pretty much what you have done…kept busy, gone to the gym to keep my ability to walk and stand, and tried to be ‘the fly on the wall,’ (as all playwrights are..). … the one who sees (and writes about) what the authentic ‘characters’ on the educational landscape are doing.
All have a role, Leonie Haimison
parentsacrossamerica.org/what-we-believe-2/why-class-size-matters,
Anthony Cody, Lois Weiner easily googled for their wonderful work and Karen Horwitz,
http://endteacherabuse.org/
Norm Scott, Betsy Combier,
http://parentadvocates.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=article&articleID=7534
Francesco Portelos:
http://rubberroom3020-a.blogspot.com/2013/08/dear-arbitrator-wittenberg-doe-evidence.html
and this incredible story one hears NO Where:
http://protectportelos.org/does-workplace-bullying-continues-my-33-hrs-behind-bars/
and his story at NAPTA,
http://www.endteacherabuse.org/Portelos.html
(where my story resides too, anonymously, because at the time I was too stunned, injured and terrified to speak out.).
and so many others in local districts, like Rene Dierich, — http://www.hemlockontherocks.com/2014/07/top-6-shockers-how-weingarten-and-deasy.html
… as Kathleen Carroll makes clear in this essay:
http://www.perdaily.com/2014/07/former-ctc-attorney-kathleen-carroll-lays-out-unholy-alliance-between-union-and-public-education-pri.html
and there is the incredible chronicle of that LAUSD corruption: http://www.perdaily.com
by –yes — Lenny Isenberg (who BTW- believes in YOU implicitly); I have more to say about Lenny, and I hope that readers here will bear with me (after his recent display of temper), but first, I want to address your wonderful description of the aftermath of a traumatic episode… first expressing my hopes that you are restored to full health.
YOU, Diane, are OUR voice!
The experience you describe is a physical trauma, but the symptoms that you experienced are identical to those that I and thousands like me felt when, out of the blue our lives changed, and all expectations were crushed. Crushing expectations are the ones that the psychiatrists know are the major causes of depression. Yet, the press is silent about the human interest stories of Americans who JUST HAPPENED TO BE TEACHERS… and trust me, I wrote to ALL the journalists and editors at the NY Times with the story YEARS AGO! I have the letters, and plan to post a few when I begin my blog at Word Press SPEAKING AS A TEACHER (after my grandkids leave!)
It took me three years to get over the CRUSHING disappointment at loss of the career that I had so carefully pursued and threw myself into my family. My expectations were based on my dedication to children, my success and my demonstrated talents– and my future seemed made even more possible when Harvard and the LRDC saw my classroom as unique and made me a cohort. (resume and my writing at) :
http://www.opednews.com/author/author40790.html
It seemed impossible, Diane, that I should be fighting for my reputation just as the LRDC chose six of the most successful practices in the Pew study, and showcased their work at seminars and across the nation. I did not see those boulders in my path when my best practice was shown in San Diego. Ironically it was the same time that Elaine Fink*, the superintendent of the silk-stocking District 2 (in nYC) threw me onto the rocks — putting out charges of incompetence, when her slanderous verdict without charges or hearing –of corporal punishment– brought the filing of a 4 million dollar lawsuit*.
* filed by attorney Arthur Block when Ivan Tiger, the UFT Manhattan Bureau Rep FAILED to grieve the outrageous allegations or come to my rescues I lay unable to MOVE forward, despite my fame and success.
(* Fink,, BTW, ironically went on to become the chancellor in San Diego…for a brief time… until they saw her brutalize the teachers and sent her packing. That is a script I would love to have authored!)
I was bewildered when no one came to my aid to end the malicious and slander, and astonished when my employment file was emptied of all my awards and my Who’s Who entries.
I was stunned when they tore apart my practice, on the Eastside of Manhattan, trashed my research, and gave away my library and materials.
But I was TRAUMATIZED by the vendetta of one powerful woman and the endless humiliation to which I was subjected to by several principals, in the school that I helped to make famous. It took 3 years to pull myself up and begin to pursue photography and writing. To this day, the remnants of that helplessness haunts my dreams. I am not alone. THIS is the story of every teacher that was in that first assault, and now, new teachers are victimized with no one to restore their right to due process:
http://www.speakingasateacher.com/SPEAKING_AS_A_TEACHER/The_Insane_War_on_Teachers_and_Democracy.html
It was REAL TRAUMA that was experienced by me, and by Lenny and BY Lorna Stremcha who was set up to be raped,and whose book is about to be published.
I know the personal trauma of David Pakter. and spoke with him over the YEARS, as the media ignored his battle with Joel Klein, as this incredible, celebrated educator fought:
http://parentadvocates.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=article&articleID=7501
http://ednotesonline.blogspot.com/2010/06/charges-against-david-pakter-dismissed.html
And Francesco Portelos is FIGHTING STILL…
http://protectportelos.org/does-workplace-bullying-continues-my-33-hrs-behind-bars/
16 years after they tossed me to the ground because my legal arm the UNION was missing in action!
http://rubberroom3020-a.blogspot.com/2013/08/dear-arbitrator-wittenberg-doe-evidence.html
No one knows the story of Walter Porr ( hero fireman turned teacher) , and especially Pi Lian Tu -whom I met in the rubber-room, and who is one of the hundred thousand veterans who experienced harassment at the end of incredibly successful practice. No one knows about her ‘fall’, and no one came to ‘lift her up’ especially not the UFT, when they took away everything this dedicated and talented teacher had worked for over a lifetime. I sat with her after her sleepless nights, as her body was wrecked by a nerve-induced rash. I went to the kangaroo court called a ‘hearing’ and witnessed the collusion and hypocrisy as she was never allowed to present evidence or to speak in her own behalf. THIS was NOT America… and it was not even the year 2000!
If Lenny Isenberg is outraged it is BECAUSE he has been telling the truth so eloquently and at such great personable cost, and discovered that NO ONE IS LISTENING.
http://www.perdaily.com/2011/03/lausd-and-utla–connecting-the-dots-of-blattant-corruption.html
http://www.perdaily.com/2013/10/why-does-utla-continue-to-support-lausds-violation-of-california-teacher-dismissal-process.html
This finally made press with THE OUTRAGEOUS VERGARA DECISION, so many YEARS after he wrote this:
http://www.perdaily.com/2014/06/lausds-treacherous-road-from-reed-to-vergara–its-never-been-about-students-just-money.html
Yes, he is entitled to be Aangry at the absence of any attention to the abuse in LAUSD which HE IDENTIFIED YEARS AGO. It is frustrating to be a fighter and greater fool :
They took this brilliant and dedicated teacher from his classroom IN HANDCUFFS, for blowing the whistle on social promotion WHICH HE IS STILL WRITING ABOUT:
http://www.perdaily.com/2014/07/social-promotion–lausds-prime-mover-for-continued-and-predictable-student-failure–do-they-really-w.html
http://www.perdaily.com/2014/07/between-dishonest-social-promotion-of.html
Lenny Isenberg is the only teacher I know, who is SUING THE REAL CULPRIT, the one that undermined the law of due process– The UNION and the press is MIA!!!
AND why do so few of us know that he is suing the union, he asks?
http://www.perdaily.com/2014/03/has-utla-rank-and-file-been-told-that-im-suing-utla-why-not.html
In a day when most teachers run for their lives and mental health under the lawless assail when the principals come gunning for them, Lenny fights on, even though he now lives in a room over his garage so he can rent his house and earn an income!
He, like thousands sent out the door in LAUSD, is a victim of the CORRUPT process that Kathleen Caroll described (in the links I provided above) LAUSD is moving to lift his credentials so he will never be able to teach again! he writes:
http://www.perdaily.com/2013/11/lausd-gives-me-a-chance-to-be-a-hero-for-student-teachers-and-families.html
SO get well fast, Diane,
We need YOU, you have the audience and the pulpit and we trust you!
Yes, there are some of us who respect and admire you, and who remember how you took on Bush; who also long for the same kind of condemnation and outrage necessary when confronted with the facts, not just about Gates and company, but about the union negligence! Many of us wish HEAR your voice OUT THERE, not merely on Moyers and The Daily Show, because this assault on education BEGAN TWO DECADES AGO, AS YOU KNOW, with the war on veteran teachers.
YOU are OUR voice!
In your own way, you are dedicated to the truth and making a difference!!
One more thing about the unions, before I go, because I want to be crystal clear about the truth… I SUPPORT THE UNIONS. Without unions teachers and all workers would be so much fodder for the corporate furnace. But the workplace for teachers lacks the same accountability as the financial markets did… and do!
At the core of this national tragedy lies the UNIONs– who were complicit. Period!
I speak truth here and at Oped, but THAT truth needs to find its way into the nation’s media, because WE TEACHERS NEED THE UNION, and they MUST become OURS again. The current ‘management’ in most of them needs to GO. The contract in NYC sold out the teachers who will never get to see the benefits …nine years from now, a time when most of them will be harassed out as incompetent based on false allegations and the bogus evaluations of those tests!
It worries me when I know the revelations about the AFT that has been exposed here and at Politico… because Randi was the head honcho when IvanTiger and his ilk allowed the decimation of teachers in NYC; she helped me… at he last minute when my husband gained her attention at my plight*, and I was ‘arbitrated’ into retirement in order to escape years of literal imprisonment in the teacher fail, and a hearing so far removed from my practice that all evidence will have evaporated.!
* the last stone they threw in my path was hear-say, written by a teacher (not even in my school) that I threatened to kill the principal. Bloodied and finally in traumatic collapse my hero called her… and got through.
FINALLY,
For those of you in the 50/15880 who have not seen this film, “GRASSROOTS AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH WAITING FOR SUPERMAN” take the time and trust me… this is happening in YOUR city and in every district across the 15,880!
Get WELL fast and give ’em hell… for me, and all of us!
Thanks so much for sharing your story. As always you have been very candid. We are ALL so very happy that you are recuperating. Many of us have gone through very difficult things in our lives and most will say, if it does not kill you, it makes you stronger. It is so very helpful to so many people when people share those difficulties which have happened to them, are candid about the pain and depression they are forced to go through but share in their survival. On NPR some time ago a fairly well known author told of his bout with cancer where he was in so much pain he prayed to die. His father buoyed him up. AFTER it was all over he said he hoped he would NEVER have to go through anything like that but that he would not take anything for that experience.
It looks like you are doing something very similar.
God bless you and we all look forward to your full recovery and the work which you seem to have in mind.
I know depression can be extremely hard to overcome, but when those times come, try to remember how very important and needed so many people consider you and your work for public education.
I am so happy you are coming out of it. Thank you for blogging and advocating even as you were suffering. And thank you for the update. The way to change education is through relationships and your staying connected to us shows that.
You are so remarkable for being so honest. I know exactly how you feel because I too suffer from chronic pain in my neck and back. It is debilitating when pain never leaves you, but you listen to the therapists, do those exercises, take some anti-inflammatory drugs or something more powerful, and carry on the best you can. This last year was very hard working when I had (and still have) spasms coming from the sternocleidomastoid muscle in the neck and head. I guess this was one of the reasons I retired from the “physical act of teaching.” But people like us carry on, not only for the kids, but also for the ones we love who depend on us. I guess that is why we are teachers. No matter how we feel, we try to impart knowledge. All I know that in the almost two years that I have been reading your blog, you have taught me so much. And to do it in so much physical pain makes you beyond remarkable. You have made such a difference to so many educators. I truly believe that you have moved so many people to understand what public education truly means.
Best wishes as you continue to recover!
I am so thankful that you are coming out of your depression and walking again. Thank you for your tireless advocacy on our behalf, but please rest and recuperate.
We are still working to continue our documentary, Going Publuc, fueled in part by your effort to keep us all informed and aware of the dismantling of public education. Your willingness to share your story ( My husband is dealing with almost the same set of circumstances since a nasty fall resulted in spinal chord surgery last fall) is due to the humility and open mindless you have shown your readers and admirers from the start. When you agreed to be interviewed for our film you not only validated our outrage but also gave us the courage to keep on keeping on. We share with everyone the wish that your recovery continues physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If love really travels through the ethers you must be bathed in its glow all day!
Dear Diane,
By sharing your story you have helped many others. It takes tremendous courage to face injury and disability. I am glad you have found some of the things that can make a difference: laughter, love of friends and family, and an appreciation for everyday routines. Know also that you have the support and best wishes of thousands of us in this community you have helped to create.
Thank you for the update. I will continue to send healing thoughts your way.
Thank you Diane. I too had complete knee replacement a year ago. I felt very depressed and didn’t want to do anything at all. Finally I got up the courage to do water aerobics, as that seemed the best. I am now more recovered and can walk around my local beautiful lake, do dance exercises, chair yoga, and weights. I hope you continue to improve and go out with others, even if only briefly. I know I tended to want to be alone for the healing. Yours was much more complicated than mine, so don’t be surprised if the healing takes longer than you think.
To quote Sarah in Seattle, “Thank you for the update. I will continue to send healing thoughts your way.” I would be happy to suggest a few of my favorite make-me-laugh movies, as I’m sure many others could as well… What makes you laugh? A few right off the top might include: Princess Bride, LA Stories, Parenthood, National Treasure, Raising Arizona, The Family Man, JJ Abrams’ new Star Trek (most enjoyable if you were a fan of/know the original Trek with Kirk, Spock et al), Finding Nemo (Ellen DeG is great), Bruce Almighty, The Mask, The Truman Show, the TV series Community, and others I’m sure I’m blanking on now…
We TOTALLY understand of course, but your powerful insights and voice would have been a great addition to this weekend’s AFT Convention. It was quite something; Randi W and the rest of AFT are getting more and more fired up! You’ve already blogged about some of the topics addressed, including the CCS debate… I wish they’d post some of that debate, it was intense and heated… And I haven’t yet seen them post the amended version of Resolution 1 on “Real Accountability for Equity and Excellence in Public Education,” which is the one which was amended to add a “Secretary Improvement Plan” for Duncan, and calls on Obama to call for his resignation if, “after being treated fairly and his due process rights protected, he does not show significant improvement” (paraphrased but close). Snarky and humorous, yet brilliant and accurate on so many levels.
Anyway, keep walking, keep healing, keep laughing, and I’m excited to hear you’re ruminating on a new book… I recommend “Death and Life…” and “Reign of Error” as often as I can. A great “boxed set” they make. Be well, Diane.
Thanks, Ted Altenberg, the recent movie that made me laugh is called “We’re the Millers” it is very funny, available on HBO on demand.
I know what it’s like to always want to be at the top of your game and then being suddenly shot down. Not easy for anyone not wanting to be sick. I am glad you are out of the funk and moving on. Thank goodness is wasn’t your head or we would all be at a loss.
I wish you complete recovery of your knee surgery, like you I took a fall last year in my classroom and had surgery for a torn medial meniscus. Continue to recover, and keep up your great work in support of the public schools.