PHILADELPHIA (The Borowitz Report)—Responding to Vice President Harris’s choice of Tim Walz as her running mate on Tuesday, Donald J. Trump claimed that the Minnesota governor “was never white before.”
“I saw him on television many, many times, and, quite frankly, he was never white,” Trump said. “Then, he suddenly became white.”
Hinting that “there’s something going on,” Trump said that Walz’s “last-minute decision to become white” was “something that should be looked into.”
Asked what Walz was before he became white, Trump responded, “I think Walz is some kind of a dance. So what is he, white or a dance? I respect either one, but he obviously doesn’t
I’d like to know when trump turned orange and dyed his hair yellow. He used to be a peachy white guy with blondish hair, but something changed and he’s now orange with crayola yellow hair…..he looks like a colored in cartoon character!
I thought Tim Walz was a misspelled plural version of a wall. Since he’s also white, I assumed he was a white wall. I never confused him with the dance because there’s no “t” in his last name.
She and Walz get my vote, I think she will take the win because a lot of independents and undecideds will find her much more acceptable than the orange menace.
What a great team! I’m excited about Gov. Walz and V.P. Harris. They will meet the needs of many Americans and further our ties with countries around the world, even those on the ‘border.’ I had to laugh when I heard the second weird one say that Walz hasn’t done much. Let’s compare their résumés. Who was a veteran? Who was a teacher? Who was born on a farm?
Andy Borowitz is such a hoot! I used to regularly read his stuff. Somehow, when I changed computers, I think, I forgot about him so I really appreciate the reminder of where he can be found. I just enjoyed catching up and going through the articles that are free to read and I especially liked the following one, “Biden Offered Russian Agent as Part of Prisoner Swap” located at the bottom of this post.
I think Andy is really onto to something with that one, because considering the horde of top secret documents tRump had in his possession at Mar-a-Lago, he must have already shared over the years everything that Putin wanted to know. I think Putin probably told him to just tell him or his people the info in person, like when, at the beginning of his four year term, tRump told Putin’s reps in the Oval Office about the Israeli spy (and maybe over the phone, too), so that there would be no trail back to him. I think tRump over-played his hand by being greedy and too stupid to not return all the docs he took, and Putin just doesn’t need that dimwit anymore: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/biden-offered-russian-agent-as-part
Sorry, this got cut off at the end above: I think that due to the evidence tRump left of his traitorous crimes, our people knew exactly what info was given to Putin et al and they were probably able to change a lot of things, so that much of what rRump shared wouldn’t be applicable anymore & would not continue to put our country at risk. And Putin probably learned that a self-centered show off with a big mouth and no experience, wisdom or impulse control was a terrible choice for a Russian operative…
Yes! There are many threads of truth to what Andy perceives and writes about, so I subscribed too and am really thrilled to have him back in my life now as well!!
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I’d like to know when trump turned orange and dyed his hair yellow. He used to be a peachy white guy with blondish hair, but something changed and he’s now orange with crayola yellow hair…..he looks like a colored in cartoon character!
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I’d like to know if Trump is muscular or flabby and obese. MAGA seems to think he’s muscular and looks like Superman.
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Donald “bin Laden” Trump (perpetrator of Jan. 6) ought to turn even more orange, as in an orange prison jumpsuit.
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What’s terrifying for Trump is that if he loses, he faces trials and accountability for Jan 6
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I thought Tim Walz was a misspelled plural version of a wall. Since he’s also white, I assumed he was a white wall. I never confused him with the dance because there’s no “t” in his last name.
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Call her Karismala.
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I am experiencing Kamalamania. She has Kamalamentum.
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She has Harrisma. Sorry, couldn’t resist.
She and Walz get my vote, I think she will take the win because a lot of independents and undecideds will find her much more acceptable than the orange menace.
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What a great team! I’m excited about Gov. Walz and V.P. Harris. They will meet the needs of many Americans and further our ties with countries around the world, even those on the ‘border.’ I had to laugh when I heard the second weird one say that Walz hasn’t done much. Let’s compare their résumés. Who was a veteran? Who was a teacher? Who was born on a farm?
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Walz’ best line: Under Trump crime was up–not even counting his own crimes.
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Tim Walz Says He Looks Forward to Debating JD Vance If He’ll ‘Get Off the Couch’
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Sheesh Andy Borowitz is a riot. Nice to get a laugh to go along with the day’s news. May have to subscribe…
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Andy Borowitz is such a hoot! I used to regularly read his stuff. Somehow, when I changed computers, I think, I forgot about him so I really appreciate the reminder of where he can be found. I just enjoyed catching up and going through the articles that are free to read and I especially liked the following one, “Biden Offered Russian Agent as Part of Prisoner Swap” located at the bottom of this post.
I think Andy is really onto to something with that one, because considering the horde of top secret documents tRump had in his possession at Mar-a-Lago, he must have already shared over the years everything that Putin wanted to know. I think Putin probably told him to just tell him or his people the info in person, like when, at the beginning of his four year term, tRump told Putin’s reps in the Oval Office about the Israeli spy (and maybe over the phone, too), so that there would be no trail back to him. I think tRump over-played his hand by being greedy and too stupid to not return all the docs he took, and Putin just doesn’t need that dimwit anymore: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/biden-offered-russian-agent-as-part
LikeLike
Sorry, this got cut off at the end above: I think that due to the evidence tRump left of his traitorous crimes, our people knew exactly what info was given to Putin et al and they were probably able to change a lot of things, so that much of what rRump shared wouldn’t be applicable anymore & would not continue to put our country at risk. And Putin probably learned that a self-centered show off with a big mouth and no experience, wisdom or impulse control was a terrible choice for a Russian operative…
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ECE, that’s hilarious. I used to get Borowitz’s humor regularly when he was part of the New Yorker. I just subscribed to his blog.
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Yes! There are many threads of truth to what Andy perceives and writes about, so I subscribed too and am really thrilled to have him back in my life now as well!!
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