Bob Shepherd surprised me with this post. I thought he was going to write that you should move to Florida to vote out the scoundrels now running the state and destroying public schools.

I thought he would say to move to Florida because it is 75 degrees there today.

But he has other reasons for you to join him there.

Here are two reasons of his reasons. Open the link to learn about the others.


Economy. It’s the home of free (I mean really free) enterprise. Selling sinkholes and swampland to Yankees has mostly given way to late-night erectile dysfunction infomercials (yes, a big industry in Florida), casinos, tort law, strip clubs, megachurches, guns shows, and charter schools, but it’s still the capital of the con, so, of course, it’s home to Donald Trump. (Mar-a-lago recently won a prestigious award for second tackiest dwelling in the universe, after Trump’s apartment in Trump Tower.) Of course, the man who brought you Trump University would locate here. It’s wilder than the Wild West. How do all those grifters end up here? Basically, ne’er-do-wells throughout the country flee the law until they can’t flee any further because there’s an ocean in the way.
O Florida! Of thee I sing!
Geography. The state has two zones–North Florida (which is basically Southern Southern Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi without the high levels of education for which those states are known) and South Florida, aka, The Swamplands. To get to Florida, go East until you smell it and South until you step in it. The highest elevation in the state is Mount Trashmore, aka the Miami Dump (true), from the top of which you can see all the way to Tallahassee. It’s important for you to relocate to Florida soon, as with global warming and the flatness and low elevation of the state, it soon will not exist anymore.