Peter Greene read the article in the New York Times about the new trend to introduce brands into the classroom and imagined what the classroom of Tomorrow would look like.

He begins:

“Good morning,children, and welcome to today’s classes in the Mr. Edbrand Fifth Grade Room, brought to you by Exxon here at Apple Elementary School. I’ll remind you that all Samsung devices and Microsoft Surface tablets must be placed in the big box just outside the door. As usual we’ll be recording and webcasting today, and only properly sponsored materials can be shown on camera.

“Oh, Chris– you brought in your signed clearances from home? Excellent– you can finally move your desk out of the cupboard and join your classmates on camera.

“Today we’re going to continue working on this week’s essay, “Why Pepsi Is the Most Refreshing Drink.” Remember, we’re going to be writing them with the new Edutech Markotron 5000s that came in yesterday. No, Ronny– you’re trying to hold your Markotron like a pen or pencil– just flip your wrist so your hand is upside down and backwards– the Markotrons work fine if you just change the way you write. At recess we’ll be trying out the new game from EduGo– did everyone sign their decline-of-liability forms? And while at your work stations, remember not to slouch so that the new DataGrabber Mining Module can track every part of your facial expressions.

“I’ll also remind you that part of your class requirement is to post a picture from class on Instagram or Twitter; remember, you only get credit if you use the hashtag #MrEdbrandTeaches, because every day what…? That’s right– “Every day I’m increasing my digital footprint.”