Andy Borowitz, who writes humorous pieces for the New Yorker, says only one person can stop North Korea.

He says Betsy DeVos is enroute to North Korea to reverse its progress in math and science. Vouchers for everyone!

That will cripple its nuclear program.

Categories Betsy DeVos

22 Comments Post your own or leave a trackback: Trackback URL

GregB says:

July 7, 2017 at 12:05 pm

Very funny! Perhaps she will send Michelle Rhee as special envoy. (I know, I know, way too obvious. Sorry.)

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Heidi Van De Wege says:

July 7, 2017 at 12:12 pm

North Korea could really use Jesus right now. De Vos could spread the gospel why she is in North Korea. After all she did go to a Christian college

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Ed Johnson says:

July 7, 2017 at 12:32 pm

“Export anything to a friendly country except American management.”
–W. Edwards Deming

Got instead an enemy country? Then export to it American management.

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- Yvonne Siu-Runyan says:
  
  July 7, 2017 at 2:42 pm
  
  W. Edwards Deming’s work is fantastic. After WWII, the USA turned down Deming, then he brought his ideas to Japan. Good for Japan.
  
  We sure could use Deming’s work in education.
  
  I wrote an article about Deming’s work and education. Teachers and administrators who used it found it to be most useful and enlightening.
  
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  - Duane E Swacker says:
    
    July 8, 2017 at 10:17 am
    
    Do you have a link for your article, Yvonne?
    
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Joel Herman (@jwherman11) says:

July 7, 2017 at 12:36 pm

As crazy as Kim is, he is absolutely rational. From Saddam and Qaddafi to Rousseff and Kirchner strategic deterrence would seem to be the way to keep the American Oligarchy at bay. You could probably add Gore, Kerry and Clinton to the list of those attacked by the right wing oligarchy as well. Even though they were themselves lesser players . Ironic that the right complains about the deep state when they have been married to it since before Watergate..

My proposal a first strike against North Korea. Take the entire Cabinet and Trump add the congressional leadership to it, load them into a C147 transport and drop them over North Korea . The Korean people will flee over the boarders to escape the stench. Or they will hand over Kim in exchange for us taking the stench back.

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- Ed Johnson says:
  
  July 7, 2017 at 3:33 pm
  
  Yes but wouldn’t a C-5 be needed? Maybe a couple of C-5’s?
  
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Laura H. Chapman says:

July 7, 2017 at 12:41 pm

Funny and Sad.

Do not miss Mercedes Schneider’s discussion of DeVos as the target of two lawsuits, the most newsworthy comes from nearly twenty state attorney generals.

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retiredbutmissthekids says:

July 7, 2017 at 12:46 pm

Very funny!! Also, this, from David Sedaris’ new book, Theft by Finding Diaries, 1977-2002:

December 17, 1986
Chicago

I read a funny article by Patricia Marx called “Getting Along with the Russians.” She says, “Education, not force, is the effective way to change the Russians. If we want a 3-year-old not to put his hand on a hot stove, we do not beat him unmercifully. Rather, we teach him that a stove is hot, by pressing his hand to the burner for a minute or two.”
She goes on w/soft approaches & offers harder ones if plan A fails. “Continue to send the Russians wheat, but package it in cartons filled w/so many Styrofoam pellets that Russia becomes a big mess.” “Give them broken headsets at the UN.”

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markstextterminal says:

July 7, 2017 at 1:07 pm

Pretty much perfect.

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Lloyd Lofthouse says:

July 7, 2017 at 1:20 pm

It this was true, we could also pray, hope, beg, bribe, that North Korea would accuse her of spying and throw her in one of their prisons for at least one full year or even two.

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- retiredbutmissthekids says:
  
  July 7, 2017 at 8:05 pm
  
  TAGO, Lloyd!
  
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Bill McQuaid says:

July 7, 2017 at 5:14 pm

Borowitz is jumping the gun. Only if Trump and his advisors think she’s qualified for the job can she be officially determined to be qualified for the job.
Appointment forthcoming.

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- Lloyd Lofthouse says:
  
  July 7, 2017 at 6:20 pm
  
  In that case, let’s not be surprised if Trump makes Betsy DeVos a four-star general and appoints her to command the war he wants to start n North Korea. If we close our eyes and imagine his voice, we’d hear, “Betsy will be the greatest general ever. There will never be a general to match her in history. She will lead the U.S. military in North Korea to America’s greatest victory.”
  
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  - Duane E Swacker says:
    
    July 8, 2017 at 10:20 am
    
    Glad I hadn’t quite finished making my tea before reading that one!!
    
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Norwegian Filmmaker says:

July 7, 2017 at 9:30 pm

Donald and Betsy: Just Another Modern Couple . . .

BETSY: I think Washington would be far more effective if they had more choice in the matter. Choice solves everything. Will they use diplomacy? Nuclear warheads? Biocides? Propaganda? Dennis Rodman? A Star Trek set rebuilt and shipped to NK as a gift to its leader?

And Washington should be able to contract each out to private firms supplying such materials and services, each of which will compete to provide the finest, most superb quality of Korea control there is available in the free and open market.

Remember that choice and variety sparks competition, and that is how NK should be handled!

TRUMP: Betsy, why don’t we just destroy the whole country with a few drones? I just did the same thing to Kathy Griffin’s career, and that was without drones! Imagine what we can do with drones, each one with the brand “Trump Drones” written on the sides. Just like with my golf courses and hotels, only without the hospitality. This is going to be great! It’s going to be huge.

BETSY: Mr. The Donald, you’re not listening to me. You’re repeating the same things over and over again. Who do you really think you are: ME? My question to you is, “Does the military have a wide array of choices for drones? . . . . . ”

TRUMP: Watch your tone, Beasty, I mean Betsy! You’re not talking to the American people. You’re talking to me, the POTUS! Change your tone, or else I’ll grab your cabinet position and give it to Randi Weingarten.

BETSY: Really, Mr. The Donald . . . . Don’t get my hopes up high. You do that, and it’ll be the same thing as having another “ME” in the DOE . . . . smaller personal assets, different name and hair color, but virtually the SAME politics!

TRUMP: You have a point, but just remember who’s boss here.

BETSY: Pence is, you moron.

TRUMP: Would you please keep that voice down? Shhhhhh!

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- Lloyd Lofthouse says:
  
  July 7, 2017 at 10:10 pm
  
  LOL
  
  And Betsy didn’t mention her “god” once.
  
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  - Norwegian Filmmaker says:
    
    July 7, 2017 at 10:34 pm
    
    Who’s god?
    
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  - Lloyd Lofthouse says:
    
    July 7, 2017 at 11:05 pm
    
    The god Betsy DeVos worships. Here’s a piece in Mother Jones Magazine that delves into Betsy’s religious beliefs.
    
    http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2017/01/betsy-devos-christian-schools-vouchers-charter-education-secretary/
    
    Here’s another one from Religious News.com
    
    “DeVos grew up in the Christian Reformed Church and graduated from schools affiliated with the tradition: Holland Christian Schools in Holland, Mich., and Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Mich.” …
    
    DeVos has said she wants to “advance God’s kingdom” through education.
    
    http://religionnews.com/2017/02/06/5-faith-facts-betsy-devos-trumps-pick-for-secretary-of-education/
    
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  - Lloyd Lofthouse says:
    
    July 7, 2017 at 11:11 pm
    
    I’ve read that there are more than 30,000 different Christian denominations in the world, band the Bible warns us about false prophets so who do we believe. People like Betsy Devos and their beliefs about the god they follow?
    
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  - Norwegian Filmmaker says:
    
    July 8, 2017 at 6:37 am
    
    Oh, I see. I was under the impression that the only temples DeVos frequents are banks and the only god she worhsips is money. But I could be wrong.
    
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  - Lloyd Lofthouse says:
    
    July 8, 2017 at 1:00 pm
    
    No, you are correct. The god she worships is money and power and she’s greedy for both. She just doesn’t know it. There is no proof that False Prophets that hunger for power over others know they are false and greedy.
    
    The Bible warns us of Betsy and her Trump and their puppet master the demon, Bannon.
    
    2 Peter 2:1
    But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction.”
    
    I’m waiting for that swift destruction they are “bringing upon themselves” to arrive.
    
    1 Timothy 6:10
    For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.
    
    1 Timothy 6:9
    But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.
    
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