Hope I am not too late in posting this wonderful piece, which appears on NYC teacher Arthur Goldstein’s blog NYC Educator.
Arthur says the writer of this send-up is anonymous. Credit to him for posting it on this day.
It begins like this:
Ineffective: You don’t know how to cook a turkey. You serve a chicken instead. Half your family doesn’t show because they are unmotivated by your invitation, which was issued at the last minute via facebook. The other half turn on the football game and fall asleep. Your aunt tells your uncle where to stick the drumstick and a brawl erupts. Food is served on paper plates in front of the TV. You watch the game, and root for the Redskins.

Still morning on the left coast. Hilarious! Solving the Oswald mystery while playing 6 degrees of Sir Francis Bacon will not be on the test, however. You actually get no points for that. Additionally, 6 degrees is not an example of differentiated game choices, so you’re actually stack ranked down for that. Your score: No Christmas Bonus and No Dental. Be sure to thank your overseer for meeting his competition quotas, and Great Ebenezer Gates.
I am thankful for Charlie Chaplain movies, for veggie burritos, for Diane, and for all in her living room. I hope my homeless students are okay today. I wish I had thought sooner to do something about that. Next time. But I’m thankful to be their teacher.
Smiles back and Happy Thanks. Giving.
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