Does the Onion have secret sources inside the U.S. Department of Education? its stories are typically a week ahead of the real news. Some things are impossible to satirize.
“WASHINGTON—Citing the need to measure student achievement as its top priority, the U.S. Department of Education launched a new initiative Thursday to replace the nation’s entire K-12 curriculum with a single standardized test.
“According to government officials, the four-hour-long Universal Education Assessment will be used in every public school across the country, will contain identical questions for every student based on material appropriate for kindergarten through 12th grade, and will permanently take the place of more traditional methods such as classroom instruction and homework assignments.”
Diane Ravitch's blog 
Don’t give him an ideas!!!!!!!!
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These are best ideas from Washington yet with my personal favorites. “Officials said the initiative would also focus on improving teacher performance by tying teachers’ salaries to the test scores of the students they hand the assessment to. Kids in Mississippi will have literally the exact same educational opportunities as kids in Massachusetts.” The truth is stranger than fiction.
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LOL……you gave a very tired sped teacher suffering from workplace anxiety because we have been out for 3 snow days and return for work day today, a shot of humor this morning. Found out yesterday our NEW superintendent is looking for a NEW job and is a finalist for Superintendent of Boston Public Schools?! Just doesn’t set well with me.
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They were just in Delaware defending The Model. I don’t think Duncan has changed a word, phrase, policy or approach since 2009. If anything, they’ve doubled down.
For all the data they’re collecting, one would think there would inevitably be some shift, some change, some re-evaluation.
Every single belief they came in with has proven to be 100% valid! 🙂
I didn’t think ordinary mortals had predictive powers like that, where the agenda you start with never, ever changes, no matter how much information you collect. They really must be The Best and the Brightest.
http://www.delawareonline.com/story/news/local/2015/02/19/duncan-defends-del-education-model/23700953/
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“They really must be The Best and the Brightest.”
NAH, they’re a notch above the “Best and Brightest”, they are the “BESTEST and BRIGHTESTEST”
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The winner take all contract for the test went to Pearson so the scores will work for the College Board tests, , edTPA, national board certifications, and the rest. There is sufficient dats to know wich test items are really important and which are a waste of time, excess baggage. That is how we figured out how to design the UEA so one test fits all, and in only four hours… We are meeting all of the student learning objectives for our Race to the Top campaign of testing and in record time.
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This HAS to be a joke!!! I nearly fell off my chair reading it!
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The only reason I was tipped off that it was a joke is that it was in the Onion. Otherwise, it sounded very close to what Arne would’ve said in real life! I wouldn’t be surprised if his words in this article are pretty close to something he actually said!
~shudder~
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But who knows! There’s so much lunacy in education now, it could happen!:)
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It has trickled up to university education. Students who wish to become teachers have to pass tests of reading, writing, and math to be eligible for higher level education classes. This is after making it into the college, maintaining an appropriate GPA (3.2 or better), and completing field experiences. It’s ridiculous, and it isn’t free.
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The Onion!! This is a great piece and a paper like the Onion with its creative founders and staff would most likely have been impeded by the Common Core and Standardized Testing if they had attended school during this current educational climate.
The impediment to creativity and enjoyment in learning, thinking, and communicating gets lost in the present dominating power permeating into our public school system.
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This is a really nice idea. Whoever came up with it gets an “A” For Innovation 🙂
“President Obama is committed to giving every kid the chance to explore America’s great outdoors and unique history. That’s why today he launched the Every Kid in a Park initiative, which calls on each of our agencies to help get all children to visit and enjoy the outdoors and inspire a new generation of Americans to experience their country’s unrivaled public lands and waters. Starting in September, every fourth-grader in the nation will receive an “Every Kid in a Park” pass that’s good for free admission to all of America’s federal lands and waters — for them and their families — for a full year.”
http://www.ed.gov/blog/2015/02/lets-get-every-kid-in-a-park/
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I wonder if Obama/Duncan have a team gig lined up at Pearson after Obama’s term in office is over.I really wouldn’t be too surprised.
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Actually…if we cut out the middlemen – teachers, administrators, etc., and the costs associated with running schools, testing companies could make quite a profit. Students could do online curricula and tests without ever having to leave home (if they have one). Whatever school taxes parents pay now could be sent directly to education companies that make the curricula and tests. We already have online degrees. In schools, students are doing “credit recovery” online. (Why teachers’ unions haven’t objected to this, I’ll never know.) So, maybe it’s the way we’re going. If there’s profit to be made from it without any sense of collective vision or good, why not?
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In my opinion unions haven’t resisted these “reforms” because their survival (and hefty leadership salaries) are guaranteed by the “check-off”. Whether or not a teacher joins a union in NYS/NYC at least, the dues (agency fees) are paid to the union. Plus if the union calls for a strike that could be enough to stop the check-off. Before the Taylor Law was amended in 1977 to include agency fees teachers went out on strikes even with the 2 for 1 penalty per day’s pay. While most would probably see the check-off as strengthening a union I see it as perverting the role of a union from one that protects and fights for teachers to one that does the bidding of the power brokers while trying to give the appearance of fighting for its members. I can think of no better example than the UFT in NYC that gave up seniority transfer rights and agreed to the creation of the ATR pool for excessed teachers allowing Bloomberg to begin school closings in earnest. Not surprisingly the ATR pool was populated by the most senior and high cost teachers. Needless to say that was Bloomberg’s plan to force senior teachers into retirement or resignation. All of this “negotiated” by Randi Weingarten. (I think it was prior to kissing Bloomberg on the cheek.)
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Astute observations.
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According to Char Shryock, chair of the education leader cadre overseeing the Common Core assessment administration in Ohio, the first two days of PARCC testing have gone really well, thanks to last year’s field test and a lot of work in between now and then.
“We had a great first day in Bay Village yesterday,” she says about the district where she works. “’Wow, that was pretty easy,’ the teachers told us. ‘That wasn’t so bad,’ said the kids.”
I’m sure this person is a great individual but is it possible to get someone who isn’t personally invested in the fabulous-ness of the Common Core testing to “oversee” or evaluate the Common Core testing? What happened to “critical thinking!” and “science!” ? They’re constantly delivering scolding lectures on “bias” yet they don’t seem to be aware that THEY could be subject to bias. Are they immune yet none of the rest of us are? How does that work?
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“Reality Exposed”
Onions have layers
Reformers have test
“Deliver us” prayers
Are left to the rest
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So in the end, the federal government wants a nation wide curriculum. I knew it all along. This is just another grab for power over local districts. If people want to have a say in their childs schooling they had better speak up now.
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Helen–it’s satire! It’s from The Onion, a satirical magazine.
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But you know, Margaret, if you DIDN’T know the Onion, it’s awfully hard to tell realty apart from satire these days. This conversation is healthy, though–that’s the purpose of Diane’s blog–the world (particularly the good ol’ U.S. of A.) is pretty darn Kafka-esque these days. Anyway, Helen, now you know about The Onion, so enjoy & have a good laugh!
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NPR finally gets something right on education. Diane Rehm show, February 18, 2015:
http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2015-02-18/rethinking_standardized_testing
The program listing . . .
“Thirteen years ago, Congress passed No Child Left Behind. It mandated annual standardized testing as a way to ensure that students did not fall through the cracks. Over the years, programs like Race to the Top ratcheted up the stakes, increasing pressure on teachers, schools and districts to perform. Now No Child Left Behind is up for reauthorization and some lawmakers are calling for a removal of the mandate. This would allow states more wiggle room to design their own assessment methods. Meanwhile, parents and educators are increasingly questioning the number of tests students take and what the focus on testing is doing to our school system. An update on the debate over the way we use standardized testing in America’s schools.
Guests
Anya Kamenetz education reporter for NPR and author of “The Test: Why Our Schools Are Obsessed with Standardized Testing – But You Don’t Have to Be”
Elaine Weiss national coordinator of the Broader Bolder Approach to Education
Matthew Chingos senior fellow at the Brookings Institution and research director of its Brown Center on Education Policy
Chanelle Hardy senior vice president for policy and executive director of the National Urban League Washington Bureau”
The two speakers who made the least sense were the Chingos and Hardy, both entrenched in policy positions at “important” institutions. Neither of these officials questioned the fallacy that standardized tests give a true picture of “how our students are doing” (the same fallacy that Amanda Ripley’s book is based on).
Chingos, in particular, came across as an out-of-touch technocrat with remarkably lame arguments to justify his view that test scores equate with school and teacher performance, and therefore students need to be tested annually. He pointedly defended the use of inexpensive tests to measure “what students have learned.” He didn’t show any concern that bad tests might yield bad data.
I’m not sure if Kamenetz’s book is worth buying. I don’t know what she thinks of the “common core standards” or the federally funded tests designed for them. But she talked pointedly about the failure of federally mandated tests to do anything worthwhile and the (supposedly) unintended consequences that have made it a disaster. I can only hope she’s urging parents to opt their kids out of the tests.
I also hope Kamenetz’s and Weiss’s strong showing helped Diane Rehm and her staff realize that “ed reform” is bankrupt. A big thanks to whoever booked those two!
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This is the funniest fake education piece I’ve read since Mr. Teachbad’s Blog of Teacher Disgruntlement (Remember him? You can still Google his blog & read his brilliant posts) “Fake Education News” (all of them pretty funny) post on Dec, 10, 2010–“Principal Seeks to Replace Student Body to Improve Scores.” HILARIOUS!
Thanks, Diane, for giving me a great laugh I haven’t had for quite a while!
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Highest priority?
Test Arne’s priorities and how they have “improved” education.
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Reply to Chiara up there yesterday, 2/20, @ 10:49–you could say, possibly, that “Every Kid in a Park” (during vacations) was someone’s (in the Obama Admin.) answer to “Every Kid in a PARCC” (ALL school year!). Just sayin’…
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