Valerie Strauss received an odd April Fool’s column, allegedly written by her, announcing that Peter Cunningham, known as Arne Duncan’s mouthpiece or his brain, had had a conversion experience, has turned against the Race to the Top policies, and plans to go on tour with me to explain why we now are on the same page.

Valerie checked with him, and he is game. Now, I admit I like Peter even though I don’t agree with the things he used to say.

But I want to debate Arne or Bill.

No insult, Peter, but I don’t want to take a victory lap with you. I am delighted to know you have joined our side (how about joining the Network for Public Education?).

I want to go to the source. If I can persuade Arne or Bill to stop tormenting children and teachers, well, game over, a new day in America.

Then I will meet you for a few Bailey’s, and I will even pick up the check.