Paul Thomas had an awful day. His mother was in one hospital, his father in another, and he reflected on the competitive “gladiator culture” instilled in us.
He wondered what kind of a society this would be if we learned to be cooperative and compassionate, instead of tough and competitive. What kind of world would it be for our children?
“The gladiator culture of the U.S. is replicated exponentially in the NFL [1]—toxic and hyper-masculinity, anything necessary including sacrificing health and even life.
“And while the NFL and football mania of the U.S. are disturbing, the most troubling reality is that our neo-work-ethic of the twenty-first century targets children, specifically black and brown children from impoverished backgrounds.
“The “grit” and growth mindset movements have become (mainstream) socially acceptable ways to wink-wink-nod-nod that black, brown, and poor people are simply too lazy, unwilling to work themselves, like my dad and mom, into decrepitude for the 1%.
“Frantic—we are a nation with a ruling class snowblinded by their own privilege and terrified they won’t have a servant class—the whitewashed American Dream for black, brown, and poor children.
“The U.S. has devolved into a perverse and inverted gladiator culture with the 1% in the stands and the rest of us reduced to a dog-eat-dog existence, an artificial and unnecessary dog-eat-dog existence.
“Visit the elderly of this country, worn down by the demands that they work hard and depend on no one.”
Look into their faces and if you can their eyes.
This is the future we are demanding of “other people’s children.”

Toxic masculinity won two world wars for women, and it has gone on to absorb 92% of workplace deaths in this country today. Toxic masculity exists to safeguard the nurturing femininity that still depends on it — for buildings, highways and air conditioning.
Third-wave feminism is an expression of upper-middle class •leisure• — the leisure to hunt down and taxonomize microaggressions and man-spreading rather than, say, turn its attention to the virtual imprisonment of women in the Muslim world among darker-hued peoples than our own.
And toxic masculinity conflates poorly with racism — despite the left’s best efforts to join the two.
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It sounds to me like you are making an argument based on the definition of anything beneficial as masculine. His strikes me as a logical problem.
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Huh?
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Toxic masculinity existed long before the world ever heard the word “feminism” – or even had an inkling of the concept. Feminism has actually reduced toxic masculinity. The whole point of feminism is to equalize opportunities between the sexes. Women should have the right and the opportunity to actualize themselves through professional, artistic, sports, etc. endeavors AND men should have the right and the opportunity to actualize themselves through family, home, childcare and other nurturing endeavors. It’s a matter of balance for everyone.
More and more men are now admitting to being feminist and even admitting that life is better that way. They’re connecting more with their children (often even being the primary caregiver). They’re spending less time at work and more time with family and building social connections. They’re raising their children with empathy and understanding rather than a bellow and belt. For men who have discovered feminism, life has become less toxic, more peaceful and satisfying.
Of course, feminism has been intentionally, actively eroded almost since it was introduced, and Trump is just the culmination of this, which is why we see the return of toxic masculinity. But that’s a denial of feminism, not in defense of it.
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B.T.,
Paul Thomas is not a woman. And I assume you are not a teacher, unless you teach kick boxing or something similar.
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BT and his mindset are the toxic problem of this country. His (the right wing’s) belligerence, nihilism and negativity are a roadblock to progress in this country.
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“Toxic masculinity won two world wars for women”
Or did toxic masculinity cause those Two World Wars ,killing over 70 .million. As well as many other wars including our engagements in the middle east which have cost the lives of millions in that region and in turn thousands due to the terrorist response.
“and it has gone on to absorb 92% of workplace deaths in this country today”
I am here to tell you that the culture that disregards the saftey of those workers . The culture that has killed close to 40 mostly immigrant non union NYC construction workers in in the past two years . Whose employers thought it too feminine to provide the saftey training and equipment to those workers . Is not protecting women by making widows out of them.
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Wait: what?
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HUH?
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Wow. Pretty amazing writing, Paul. I’m very sorry to hear about your parents. It is true that we need to listen to, to see the elderly in this country. Most of us will be needing compassion and empathy -if not now, eventually. Yesterday evening, my wife was wondering why there was so much being written about Father’s Day this year. It was our perception that there was just MORE this time around. I don’t know. I have to wonder if there’s any chance it has something to do with Trump winning? He represents the worst of that “gladiator culture”. Maybe some people were fooled into believing that things were actually going to change for the better in this country. But they haven’t And,Then there are those of us who knew it was going to be bad, but THIS bad, this soon? I had an interesting exchange yesterday, well, many exchanges, on Facebook with two former students who graduated many years ago. Both are good guys though they seem to be wrapped up in this gladiator culture. Diane, funny thing is, this whole, huge Facebook debate was provoked after I re-posted your blog entry on Besty DeVos and for profit colleges. It went on for hours. I kept trying to tell one of these young guys that you can work as hard as you want but the system is gamed. At one point the former student wrote, “It’s about making the right decisions. Nothing happens by accident. Everything is the effect of an action taken. There is no luck. There is only opportunity and the ones who seize it.” It sounds like something right out of what Paul Thomas was writing about. Someone who has bought into this whole “grit mindset”. It makes me want to go back and re-read The Jungle, by Upton SInclair. There’s a character in that novel, a young guy, who has that attitude that, yeah, I’ll just work, work, work and everything will be okay. But then he gets hurt or something and it all falls apart. That book was written in 1906. Makes me think…..what has our culture really learned since then???
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Boxer in “Animal Farm” never complained, just worked harder and harder. Such a sad book, but so real.
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Reposted, really, the original Buzzfeed piece. But looking back I recommended this blog to all. As usual.
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This is the most insightful and honest portrayal of our country and it’s “condition ” that I have read in some time.
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Our ruling class ascribes the same rugged individualism to the poor to justify cutting food stamps, after school programs and Medicaid. Unlike the affluent, they cannot stand on their parents shoulders the way the Trump kids and other privileged can. These young people are truly on their own, and the system is rigged against them.
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““Frantic—we are a nation with a ruling class snowblinded by their own privilege and terrified they won’t have a servant class—the whitewashed American Dream for black, brown, and poor children.”
I’m afraid the servant class also includes white people also …. rural, city, suburbs. It is no longer about culture or class. It is about the billionaires against everyone else who falls far below their income levels. They will gobble up anyone; they don’t discriminate unless you are a billionaire and can add to their cause and agenda. In that case, they will support you and give you a nice big warm hug.
Let’s not just think that American poverty is limited to people of color or immigrants. The ruling class’s agenda is to turn you guys back into Edwardian England. This is not nearly about race or any other identity politics one wishes to infuse as mush as it is about about money and power and they way ALEC and the Kochs want the society to be set up.
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I agree. Middle class young people have been forced into taking jobs below the level of their education. They do not live in the bubble of the wealthy with all of its connections. All the anti-union rhetoric is clearly aimed at the middle class.
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Agreed, but it’s a lot easier to keep white people in servitude if you can convince them that blacks are even lower than they are. Whites are allowed glimpses (and maybe even tastes) of the “American Dream”. Blacks, being merely “n—ers”, aren’t deserving of even that much. Class and race have to be taken together.
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I will post this again,but don’t ever go see him in concert . The Nobel prize was based on lyrics like this . The politicians always represented the oligarchy. The dynamic has not changed much in 50 yrs.
“A bullet from the back of a bush
Took Medgar Evers’ blood
A finger fired the trigger to his name
A handle hid out in the dark
A hand set the spark
Two eyes took the aim
Behind a man’s brain
But he can’t be blamed
He’s only a pawn in their game
A South politician preaches to the poor white man
“You got more than the blacks, don’t complain
You’re better than them, you been born with white skin, ” they explain
And the Negro’s name
Is used, it is plain
For the politician’s gain
As he rises to fame
And the poor white remains
On the caboose of the train
But it ain’t him to blame
He’s only a pawn in their game.
The deputy sheriffs, the soldiers, the governors get paid
And the marshals and cops get the same
But the poor white man’s used in the hands of them all like a tool
He’s taught in his school
From the start by the rule
That the laws are with him
To protect his white skin
To keep up his hate
So he never thinks straight
‘Bout the shape that he’s in
But it ain’t him to blame
He’s only a pawn in their game”
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We are NOW living the TYRANNY of CORPORATIONS aided by policians.
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And Corporations are even KILLING US in more ways than one.
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Ditto in my school district. Grit, stamina, competition is on hyper steroids. As a primary teacher I try to counter all this propagandizing by encouraging students to be curious, be kind and pursue their interests. It is a very toxic environment and there are a lot of discipline problems b/c some of these students can’t handle the toxic masculinizing. It is even harder when the (especially new) teachers and very young principals buy into it. And the curriculum is anti-learning and puts everyone in a box and wraps a shiny bright ribbon around it. These kids are going to be superb automatons.
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Violence for violence’s sake is promoted in too many of our sports. Professional boxing is the apotheosis of this cult of violence, whether it is women or men boxing. Two people punching each other into unconsciousness; if this occurred on the street people would call the police. Assault and battery as entertainment. People are concerned about brain damage from football, boxing is brain damage on steroids. Society is left to deal with all the physically damaged people from these so called sports. Thank goodness tennis and ping pong do not promote violence to sell more tickets.
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You’ll be happy to know that boxing’s popularity has been declining in the U.S. for a long time.
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Conventional boxing was more of a big deal in the 1950s. Glad to hear it has declined in popularity. What has gained in popularity is the ultimate boxing/combat format in which the combatants pummel each other using hands, feet, knees, whatever. What’s next, they bring knives and brass knuckles into the ring? If I had my druthers, I would ban professional boxing of any variety. It’s not my idea of fun to watch two people smash each other into a bloody pulp.
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It’s a terribly brutal sport and no athletes are exploited more. It’s so brutal and exploitative that if it’s not to be banned, Congress should step in and regulate it. Unfortunately it’s also my favorite spectator sport, so I’m a bit conflicted.
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Unfortunately, so has tennis.
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Yeah…what’s up with tennis?
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It’s a good question. I can think of a lot of reasons why it would be in decline, but most of those same reasons should also apply to the rest of the world. Some of it may be the vicious cycle of a lack of American tennis stars leading to lower numbers of kids playing, which results in a lack of American tennis stars in the future, and so on.
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Seems like schools aren’t building courts, too. Which is unfortunate since it’s a so-called “life sport”.
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Thanks Paul Thomas, I couldn’t agree with you more….
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Ditto.
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