This is hilarious! http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_586d5517e4b0c3539e80c341/ampA poet learned that two of her poems are being used on the Texas standardized tests in Texas.
When she looked at the questions, she couldn’t get the right answer!
Sara Holbrook apologizes to the children and teachersof Texas.
“Seriously? Hundreds of my poems in print and they choose THAT one? Self-loathing and self-hate? Kids need an extra serving of those emotions on testing day?
“I apologize to those kids. I apologize to their teachers. Boy howdy, I apologize to the entire state of Texas. I know the ‘90s were supposed to be some kind of golden age, but I had my bad days and, clearly, these words are the pan drippings of one of them. Did I have a purpose for writing it?
“Does survival count?”
Diane Ravitch's blog 
I don’t hate standardized tests as much as many people here, but this is 100% true:
“Forget joy of language and the fun of discovery in poetry, this is line-by-line dissection, painful and delivered without anesthetic.”
True of Common Core too. They murder poetry, like, with an ax. Dismembered. There’s blood on the floor when it’s over 🙂
It’s as if a group of people sat down and said “how can we drain every bit of joy and meaning out of this?” My husband called it “legalistic”, and I think that fits. The goal must be an entire generation composed of lawyers.
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Chiara: speaking only for myself, I don’t hate or love standardized tests. Rather, after years of reading and thinking about them—
I find them to be, in practice over many decades now (and in spite of repeated promises over those decades to fix and tweak and improve them) useless & misleading & a painfully enormous waste of precious resources.
Take just this one example. Google “pineapple” and “hare” and “Daniel Pinkwater.”
I will give a small excerpt from that rheephorm font of all wisdom, the WSJ:
[start]
Eighth-graders who thought passage about a pineapple and a hare on New York state tests this week made no sense, take heart: The author thinks it’s absurd too.
“It’s hilarious on the face of it that anybody creating a test would use a passage of mine, because I’m an advocate of nonsense,” Daniel Pinkwater, the renowned children’s author and accidental exam writer, said in an interview. “I believe that things mean things, but they don’t have assigned meanings.”
Pinkwater, who wrote the original story on which the test question was based, has been deluged with comments from puzzled students — and not for the first time. The passage seems to have been recycled from English tests in other states, bringing him new batches of befuddled students each time it’s used.
The original story, which Pinkwater calls a “fractured fable,” was about a race between a rabbit and an eggplant. By the time it got onto standardized tests, however, it had doubled in length and become a race between a hare and a talking pineapple, with various other animals involved. In the end, the animals eat the pineapple.
The tests can be used to determine whether a student is promoted to the next grade. Once new teacher evaluations are put in place, the tests will also affect teachers’ careers.
[end]
Link: http://blogs.wsj.com/metropolis/2012/04/20/daniel-pinkwater-on-pineapple-exam-nonsense-on-top-of-nonsense/
And to encourage readers of this blog to look at the entire piece, it ends with a bang AND a whimper of an interview with the author:
[start]
Could you answer the test questions?
Of course not. This is an exercise in Zen. This is like when the Zen master says, “Can you hear the sound of one-hand clapping?” And if you don’t answer fast enough, he whacks you with a stick. And from this you’re supposed to get enlightened. I’d like to think that the company that made the test had something like that in mind but I think basically they had nothing in mind.
Or somebody liked the passage because it was amusing, so they rewrote it to make it a little less amusing — in my professional opinion — and they put in the test for no reason at all. It’s nonsense on top of nonsense on top of nonsense. And on top of that nonsense is me talking to The Wall Street Journal about it.
The kids who wrote to me and said they laughed should get a higher mark than the kids who wrote to me and said, “I was confused and now I’m upset.” I would have no idea how to answer those questions, but I probably would have answered them off the scale. I would have written something in the margin and called to the principal’s office for it.
Regardless, I’ll ask you the questions. Why did the animals eat the pineapple: A) they were annoyed B) they were amused C) they were hungry D) they wanted to.
They feared socialism. Or they had made an appointment to see their aunt in Minnesota. The next answer is: “Are you a fool? Animals can’t talk.”
The next question we know of was: Who was the wisest? A) the hare B) the moose C) the crow D) the owl.
There are only two answers for who were the wisest: the author or the publisher who made the test.
[end]
‘Nuff said.
😎
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Educators should spend more time with disgruntled health care workers. They’re rebelling against “data driven” technocrats too. Why bother to listen to people or spend time with them when “the data” tells you everything you need to know and also improves efficiency!
Education could save a lot of time and money by looking at how a lot of these ideas fail in health care. They try all of them in health care first. You’d be surprised how much you have in common with physicians and nurses who are get 8 minutes to make a diagnosis.
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It’s is funny due to the sheer stupidity of standardized tests. To force students to perform an autopsy on a poem when the poem is intended to make people feel and react undermines the intent of the author. This is one absurdity of attempting to format poetry or literature to a bubble test. It would make so much more sense to respond to the poem through discussion or written response. As a French major, I had to do something called explication de texte, rather than a closed behaviorist response as on a bubble test, we had to analyze, describe and synthesize in group discussion. The purpose was an open ended discussion, sometimes defense and criticism, and refining of ideas in a supportive, social learning environment. The process was a lot more meaningful and thought provoking than a bubble test, and we had to do it in French.
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Not only perform an autopsy on a piece of literature, but offer back ONLY accepted responses. I am put in mind of a college course on Shakespeare where I learned that if I suggested interpretations which differed from that of our Shakespeare “expert” teacher, I was just plain WRONG.
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Reblogged this on David R. Taylor-Thoughts on Education and commented:
This is typical of the Texas STAAR Test. 20% of each test each spring consist of “field questions” that are being tested for future use.
Students waste time answering questions that don’t count toward passing a timed test. A couple of years ago, high school ELA students had to write an entire one-page essay that was a field test question, what a waste of time!
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Brilliant. Thank you and the poet for this disclosure of the idiotic questions foisted of kids. Adding insult to injury, the scores of students on these idiotic tests are used to evalute the “quality” of their teachers.
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“The only way to stop this nonsense is for parents to stand up and say, no more.”
Why just parents? What obligations do school administrators and teachers have to protect the students under their care? At what point should they stop being good soldiers and obeying orders and instead stand up and say, this is wrong, I won’t do it?
You can tell me that teachers and administrators might lose their jobs for doing so, and that’s true. And I’m not going to decide for anyone whether or not to put themselves in a position where they will face economic hardship.
But parents have obstacles of their own. Schools have a way of blackmailing families into doing these tests, such as refusing to promote kids who don’t take them, refusing kids admission to selective enrollment schools or gifted programs if they opt out, or even punishing kids by making them sit and stare or missing out on activities, etc. Also, many parents don’t have the savvy to even know about opt out options – they don’t speak English, or they work three different jobs or whatever.
Yes, to the extent they are able, parents need to put the pressure on to end this nightmare. But they aren’t the only ones with an obligation. Anyone who works with children is responsible for their safety and welfare and, to the extent they are able, has an obligation to speak out and say no.
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Our legislators keep using the “Parents want choices” mantra as reasoning for their vouchers (Indiana) proliferation. So, if that is the foundation of the whole “send your kid to charter/religious/private school on the taxpayers’ dimes” it makes perfect sense to me that parents also should get a choice about standardized testing. The school must administer the tests as forced by the legislature. But the parents have this mandate from the lawmakers as being entitled to educational choices. They should exercise that choice and choose to have kids sit out the tests. And vote out the fools who keep pushing the corporate for profit tests.
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Cecilia,
Whenever choice has been tested at the polls, it loses. The public has never voted for vouchers. Never. Once, in Georgia, with out-of-state money and deceptive language, the public voted for charters. But nowhere has there been an honest debate followed by a pro-choice vote. That’s why, even to this day, the privatizers cloak vouchers in euphemisms like “opportunity scholarships” and “education savings accounts.”
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I find myself becoming increasingly cynical and resentful to all the manipulative tactics policymakers use to deny public input and local control. This is because we are now an oligarchy. Most decisions benefit corporate power and the wealthy.
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Just wondering out loud….what would happen if every student in every school just bubbled in the the the “score” circle and left the rest of the test blank. Then there would be no data and it would completely destroy what little credibility the test have.
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David Taylor,
If that happened, testing would collapse. Great idea.
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Thank you…Then we need to push this idea out there. It might be our best course of action at this point.
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I had a friend in high school who was a very poor student and test taker, though he has had a very successful career in business. He told the following story and swore that it was true (and if it’s not, it should be).
He received near the lowest score when he first took the SAT, in the spring of junior year. During the fall semester of senior year, the school compelled him to take the exam again (even though he was planning to attend a local community college that did not require it).
The second time he took the test, he waited until two minutes before the earliest time students were permitted to leave, then bubbled in “F%&# You” on the answer sheet, and walked out.
He received a higher score the second time.
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Funny.
When I took my ACT the fall of my senior. I had road football game the nigh before. Got home at 2am, beat-up and hurt, really in no mood to take any test. With about two minutes left in each section I just bubble in answers. I got a composite score of 22 which was sufficient.
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As per the TEA any student who bubbles in their name but does not “participate” in taking the exam by doing something like answering none of the questions & even refusing to open the test booklet will have their test “scored” and given a score of “zero” (which interestingly ends up being a score greater than zero once that bizarre thing called scaling comes into the picture). The only way for NO DATA to be collected is for NO KIDS to show up at school that day.
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Of course the greatness of scaling. We make up the passing score after the test are given. If every test were a zero, then there would be nothing to scale.
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Up until (?) year before last >10 absences was considered truancy. It was the last year MY kids had STAAR tests to opt out from & it was the year of that killer virus or two that got warning letters sent to me prior to any STAAR testing. Regardless, I still tried to convince them to stay home instead of take the STAAR. They, on the other hand, did not want to find themselves unable to receive a diploma. No amount of bribery or logic would get them to opt out of the last round of BS. Had I convinced them to do so, however, would have meant they had to stay home that day plus any other day makeup STAAR exams were given. I can only repeat, again, it’s just sad.
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OPT OUT! Please do NOT forget about OPTING OUT of those ridiculous tests.
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“Understanding Poetry”
To understand a poem
You shouldn’t ask the poet
Cuz poets all are dumb
And, worst of all, don’t know it.
They’ll tell you this and that
And even ’bout the other
They’ll tell you ’bout their cat
And tell you ’bout their brother
They’ll tell you everything
Except what you desire
So never give a ring
And never ever hire
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It is good to see a poem again
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Welcome back, Poet!
We missed you. I even posted poems you wrote long ago to keep your presence alive.
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What dianeravtich said.
And from a very old and very dead and very Greek guy that knew how to craft a line or two himself:
“All men owe honor to the poets – honor and awe; for they are dearest to the Muse who puts upon their lips the ways of life.” [Homer]
😎
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Good. DAM good! This is Some DAM good day.
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Sorry for the duplicate. In haste, I neglected to add the last two letters of my username, causing the comment to be in moderation when I was so anxious to say my thanks for the return of Poet.
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Good. DAM good! This is Some DAM good day.
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Glad to see you back. So how’s your cat?
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I am always reminded of Robin Williams Character in Dead Poet’s Society. He has the students rip out the “rubric” describing good poetry. Education needs the rubric rippers. In teacher evaluation, in testing, in every way, the system yearns for creativity and individuality.
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Seems that personal insights of the poet provide an irrefutable way to invalidate the worthless exams on which her work appeared. Test publishers try to avoid problems of intention and interpretation by focusing on structure and isolated words. But understanding poems cannot be reduced to this kind of exercise when all elements must be considered in their entirety (dynamically, organically and holistically, if you like).
In fact, if testing is the medium for evaluating children, teachers and schools, then the reductivist message is that everything boils down to exam scores and data points.
Call this the Jabberwocky Fallacy. Imagine asking kids what the jubjub bird represents. Lewis Carroll would be chortling.
Diane, this article and incident seem to me as important as the Pineapple and Hare reading passage that Leonie Haimson exposed in 2012. There too, the author of a whimsical fable took issue with the items Pearson spun out of it. (The same material had been criticized in earlier use.) Both examples evidence the publisher’s folly and supreme arrogance in deciding how to develop items and dictate the “best answer.”
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Fred,
Pearson better stick with dead poets so they can’t complain about the misuse of their work.
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Great point. Hey kids, What did !keats mean when he said Truth is Beauty?
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TAGO!!
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Regarding what the poet was thinking when writing the poem, I am reminded of the original Common Core mad scientist, David Coleman, who said, “people really don’t give a shit about what you feel or what you think.” He was talking about the purpose of literature. Brilliant not. Reform corporatists think the purpose of writing is
(A.) marketing
(B.) finance and accounting
(C.) information technology
(D.) human resource
(E.) all of the above and nothing else
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You left out – legal disputes.
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Sorry–my “TAGO” was in reference to Diane’s comment that “Pearson better stick w/dead poets…”
Also, it bears repeating–there is NO such thing as a Pear$on published “standardized” test–their awful, flawed tests have been shown to be neither valid nor reliable (criteria necessary for standardization), & there is NO–& never has been–any evidence that there is ANY quality control or accountability over at Pear$on or by any state or federal education department. In fact, in ILL-Annoy, the ILL-Annoy State Board of Ed. signed a 4-year, NO BID (illegal) te$ting contract w/Pear$on (which is, I believe, on its last year).
As we know, it’s ALL about the $$$$ & NEVER, EVER about the kids.
Time to take to the streets on this issue, too.
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Taking this opportunity only to brag that this is the first time I’ve ever stumbled upon an article and posted it to my FB discussion group before Diane. But then again, I have only TAMSA to thank for sharing it first.
I haven’t bothered to fact-check this one, but one comment on my post was the fact that this didn’t appear on an actual STAAR test, only on a benchmark test. But IMO, that’s just as bad, if not worse, because it is these benchmark tests given earlier in the year that for many will mean they will be pulled out of any “specials” (or NON-REQUIRED classes) in order to do test-prep instead. It is all just sad!
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