How could I miss this great article by Jessica Lahey? She writes about a childhood book about a little tiger who was very upset that he wasn’t as good as other little tigers. He couldn’t read as well, write as well, speak as well, or do anything as well as his peers. Children who read this book can identify because almost everyone feels unsuccessful in some way.
Lahey describes her concerns about her own children and how they caught up and matched their peers.
“We all watch our children as they grow, for signs that all is well. We crave evidence, both of their healthy development and of our own competence as parents, and lacking any other source of information, we scan the playground for comparisons. That boy can count to 100 in Spanish while my son can barely speak his native tongue. That child can traverse the play structure with the athleticism of a spider monkey, while mine needs help climbing up the slide. That girl can eat her healthful snack with chopsticks, while my child eats his boogers.
“Relax,” the psychologist and former teacher Michele Borba reminds me when I email to fret about the swim coach’s observation that Finn’s “a sinker,” or Ben’s inability to ride a bike well into his tweens. “Einstein didn’t say his first word until he was 4. Stop rubbernecking on the playground, Jess; childhood is not a race. Stay calm and support your child. If you are really worried, talk to his teacher or pediatrician, but kids bloom at their own rate, in their own sweet time.”
“She is right, of course. A big part of my job as a middle-school teacher was to prepare my students for the complex demands of high school. Every year, there were a few students who caused me to fret, students I was positive would never be ready in time. They lost their plan books 10 times a day and left lunches in lockers until swarms of fruit flies betrayed the neglected hoard. And yet, somehow, some way, and just in time for ninth grade, they bloomed.”
This is good advice. Parents worry that their children are not keeping up. Government policies re-inforce this anxiety by insisting that all children must be proficient on tests that ration proficiency and spread it out on a bell curve. The Common Core assumes that all children develop at the same rate. The point of Lahey’s article is to remind us that children bloom at their own pace.
Diane Ravitch's blog 
How often did I quote that book to parents who were so worried that their child would not be able to survive the rest of middle school or high school!!! “And one day, when no one was watching, Leo bloomed!”
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I have a lot of stories I could tell you where Leo did not bloom. Leo went to jail, committed suicide or was labeled “emotionally disturbed” by his school.
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Little tiger gets a bad grade.
Einstein failed to meet the educational standards.
Lil Tiger and Albert Einstein got their teachers fired, too.
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Critical point for education, which is why the high-pressure approach is so destructive for younger children especially.
As a parents of three children, my wife and I just relaxed and enjoyed our third—who did great—without the worry about precocity and hitting markers. This is a common experience, but somehow our education system won’t apply the lesson.
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Let’s get the billionaires, politicians, self appointed experts, and econometricians out of our classrooms and let teachers teach.
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CCSS ignores the concept of range. Children normally learn to read between the ages of three and eight. This is the “formerly accepted” range which has been discarded by the rheformsts. Now if a child isn’t reading by the time they enter kindergarten they are “behind”. Heaven forbid if a child might have a vision deficiency, speech impediment, or their motor skills are not fully developed at this young age. Clumsiness is not allowed. Laziness is not allowed. Disinterest is not allowed. Short attention spans are not allowed. Physical disabilities are not allowed. Emotional issues are not allowed. Illness which affects a child’s development is not allowed. Congenital defects are not allowed.
At the age of four or five a child needs to be on task and ready to prepare for college.
If a school were full of Leo the late bloomers it would be identified for Receivership. Leo would not be welcome at a charter school and he would be considered failing at a oublic school.
I’m not allowed to use the language necessary to respond to this crap.
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This was true for my daughter. She had no interest in school until 4th grade. They were worried about her in 3rd grade because she was just..unconcerned about grades or levels or what she was supposed to know or show she knew. Third grade was the big dividing line- it was when we all supposed to panic.
Oddly enough she’s the only one of my (grown) children who pursued a graduate degree after undergrad. She just follows her own path. She does hospice care now which is probably a good fit for someone who rejects imposed or inorganic timelines 🙂
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“The point of Lahey’s article is to remind us that children bloom at their own pace.”
…and in their own way. Your comment, Chiara, is an excellent reminder.
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Children are not rockets waiting to be launched from their launchpads at the push of a button. They develop over time at different rates. As someone that has worked with a great many young students, I have seen many late bloomers. That is why I oppose stack ranking of young children. It is totally unfair, especially to poor children since they may develop more slowly due to so many societal factors. Making assumptions about young children at a early age also works against boys who often lag behind girls in fine motor coordination and ability to pay attention. Some mediocre elementary students find their stride in high school. Many poor, intelligent young people drop out of school to help out their families. My father was one of those people. He went back to school and got a GED and attended the Philadelphia College of Textiles at night graduating after six years. That is another reason to make the GED a reasonable milestone. We need to encourage second chances. That is a core value of a democracy; we need to encourage aspiration, not destroy dreams.
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William Berkson—‘but somehow our education system won’t apply the lesson”–Because the Mandates will not allow us. Prior to NCLB we even had a developmental curriculum K-3 called Everything Blooms. I don’t know who to credit but I recently saw a post that stated” America has never relied on the test scores of 15 year olds to carry our future.” For the past 15 years we have allowed test scores to define our schools. It is time to stop the nonsense–education is so much more than a test score.
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Thank you for this wonderful reminder!! I recently retired (forced out, actually) after 30 years in education. I still have three kids in school; one thankfully will graduate this year. She has no desire to go to a traditional college, although extremely capable. She fears it will be too much like high school..She has plans to go to a cosmetology school.
But it’s my twin 14 year old boys I’ve always worried about. Every year on every standardized test they are on the “cusp.” Not proficient, but just barely. Now as they get older and more aware it frustrates them. They are all boy, can operate every power tool in the house, build elaborate shelves, swings, chairs, and recently have convinced their dad to let them “work on” his 1977 pickup that’s been sitting idle for 20 + years.
They are avid hunters, can build a campfire if needed, fix most broken items in the house, and willingly take electronics apart to figure out how they work.
They are in no AP classes because they cannot make the grade. They are in lower level classes with most teachers who have the attitude that they won’t learn much (which they really haven’t because of the teachers attitudes toward them.) They can’t join the robotics team because it’s for Gifted only.
They are super bright, capable, hands-on kind of boys. One has decided that mechanic or welding school is in his future. He has no confidence that he could even make it to college, The other still has aspirations of going to college, but that too is being squelched with his poor performance on PARCC (which, btw, scores were just released to parents –it’s February!)
I am saddened that my own kids have been robbed of developing at their own pace. I too was a late bloomer. My high school teachers never thought I could make it through college. I have an Ed.S. In educational leadership.
How does a parent turn this around?? My husband and I have saved all our lives so we could help our kids through college, but guess what, our educational system, has destroyed that dream.
Thanks Hanna Skandera and Susana Martinez.
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Pam – There are many bright boys who flounder in our education system and that was before the current changes, with the CCSS it has only gotten worse.
While we as educators know there are all sorts of learning styles and types of intelligences, schools tend to focus on book learning and auditory listeners, neglecting all other facets of our daily lives.
What makes it so difficult for us as parents is that we recognize our children’s talents (and many teachers agree with our assessments) but we are stuck with this system which does not allow any variations in instruction to meet the individualized needs of our children.
And if you think your sons have it bad, just imagine what it’s like for inner city minorities, refugees & other immigrants, and those with learning, physical, or emotional disabilities.
We know better, yet there is little we can do to stop the tide which is destroying our children’s psyche.
Tell your daughter that college is not like high school. The goals are different since our higher education system hasn’t been bought out by the billionaires yet.
It’s tough enough being a parent without the government throwing obstacles in our path.
It sounds like you have great kids who will land on their feet. Encourage them and remind them they are not a test score but that each has special talents which fill you with love and pride.
There is life after high school and nobody in the future will ever ask them to reveal what score they received on any given test.
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I don’t quite know what to say to you. Your daughter sounds like she disliked high school intensely, but it is not clear why. I assume she has visited some colleges to make her decision about their similarity? Then again, if she really isn’t interested, don’t waste your money. A year or two studying cosmetology may change her mind, or not. Your boys sound like a lot of teenagers who frankly would probably be better off not hitting college right after high school. I think I would be introducing that son who was disappointed in his PARCC scores to all the criticism that has led to a growing opt out movement. You know your sons are bright, but school does not seem to have engaged them. If they truly want to go to college and have some idea why, then it is time to work their tails off toward that end whether their teachers cheer them on or not. I can’t imagine a teacher not noticing a student who is engaged in class, asking questions, completing assignments, and pursuing extra help, at least not one who belongs in a classroom. Now is the time to develop all those soft skills that will serve them well no matter what they decide to do. Keep that college fund intact. An awful lot of growing up happens after eighteen. If their priorities change it would be nice if you could still help them pursue academic interests at the college level. I have to say that I don’t feel like I was really clicking on all cylinders until I pursued a masters. I spent six years doing that while I raised my family. Please don’t feel like I am patronizing you. This is a conversation that really should be happening over a cup of coffee between friends. My kids are grown, so I can be more relaxed about what must be torturing you. I don’t think we ever stop worrying about decisions our children make, at least I haven’t yet!
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I wish I had read this my third year of teaching. A stressful year with many arguments with my former principal, “miracle workers” coming in to teach us how to teach from some third party organization, and forced teaching to the test, this would have provided the light I needed to re-re-assure myself that what I was fighting for was worth it. Unfortunately, I caved, and quit teaching.
Thanks for this. We are all people, all different. Different strengths, dreams, and development. Our differences are what makes our world “go ’round”.
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Even adults are late bloomers. How many of us know someone who struggled through high school but found a fresh start in college or a trade? It’s about the individual, not the test.
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Your comment reminds of watching how so many seriously unhappy kids forced through test after test at our very low-income school, also “tested” at very different speeds but were still always forced to sit –quietly, often not even allowed to read or draw — and wait until an arbitrarily specified “time was up.” Again we miss the point that, as you say, it’s about the INDIVIDUAL, not the test.
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Thanks for posting this! This is my 35th year of teaching, and I still think of this book when I remind parents that children grow and develop at different rates, cognatively as well as physically. This has been one of my favorite quotes for many years: “Childhood is a journey, not a race!” Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a Secretary of Education with a DEEP background in Educational Psychology? Someone like Leo’s mom? Sigh…..
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I have never understood why people can’t (or won’t) recognize that “Everybody’s different!” Even medical doctors recognize this in regards to their patient’s physical recovery so why wouldn’t the brain & all its complexities be even more varied for individual development?
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I was a later bloomer—really late, and it took going to fight in a war to shock me enough so I started to bloom.
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I was a very “early bloomer,” and as it turned out, I never really bloomed.
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Those who get straight “A’s” are simply not challenged. They are accepted as smart and then ignored. Advanced classes are not individualized and must fill their classes. They end up not being advanced at all. “Gifted” students are everywhere and, as Dr Gardner demonstrated, there is genius in everyone, No one knows when genius will unfold. Find that genius and challenge it.
If you agree, pass it on as I am blacklisted from forwarded e mails on this blog
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Kids don’t start talking at the same time, walk at the same time, get their teeth at the same time, recognize colors at the same time and on and on.
Yet we demand they are on the same page, in the same seat, taking the same artificial test with the same damned scripted answer. This isn’t only unethical, it is immoral.
I have been saying this for years and. Not only did I develop a school that did that, I developed a plan to implement it.
Are we ready for systemic change? Then stand behind the kind of change that not only takes kids at their pace but lets them learn in their “whole child way! The time is now!
http://Www.wholechildreform.com
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Kids who show a problem learning sound-symbol associations, have trouble writing their name and/or struggle to recognize and remember their letters often have a larger problem. Developmental delay…he’ll grow into it…it’ll happen sooner or later…these are often platitudes and they are not based on any evidence or research.
So parents, even though this article and comments may give you pause that you are wrong to suspect a problem and do something about it, follow your gut and check out the problem anyway. If it’s nothing, then you’ve lost nothing and gained peace of mind.
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Waiting for children to bloom may work for some areas of development but not with regard to reading. Up to 20% of children have the invisible learning difference called dyslexia. Their best chance of remediation is when they are identified early; allowing their brains to increase neural pathways more easily and before their self esteem has wilted. Here is a link to an informative website: http://dyslexiahelp.umich.edu/parents/learn-about-dyslexia/is-my-child-dyslexic
Parents need to trust their instincts. If something doesn’t seem right, it probably isn’t. One of the biggest hallmarks of dyslexia is the unexpected gap between intelligence and performance in the classroom.
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Don’t simply wait. Wait with strategies
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No one is saying to ignore discrepancies in regards to learning and attribute all delays to late blooming. Of course the children who are lagging behind should be tested to make sure there isn’t an issue – that’s why kids get speech, PT and OT at a young age or are tested for learning disabilities.
The point is that everyone differs and there is no magic date which says exactly when milestones should occur – there is a range of time which make up the normal parameters.
I would hate to have been pigeon holed at the age of twelve (like they do in many countries) and ranked by my enthusiasm, grit, and grades during my preteen and early teenage years. There were too many other issues I was dealing with to focus all my energies on being a model student.
And I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.
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“And I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.”
No, you aren’t.
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Aren’t all children robots who’s switches can be turned on to receive knowledge immediately during each class, every day regardless of subject? After all, that’s what the administrators seek seek during observations when they compare classroom teachers to the highly idealized notions of the Danielson rubric in NYC.
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Whose, not who’s. Sorry. My grammar chip malfunctioned.
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Yup, flunked algebra in the 8th grade. Transferred to an elite private school for the 9th. Was either the top or second in all the following maths. classes. I thought it was well known that people’s brains develop at various rates.
The move to teach all algebra in the 8th is a mistake.
bc –eventually earned a PhD in physics.
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