Paul Horton, a history teacher at the University of Chicago Lab School, wrote this letter to the editorial board of the Chicago Tribune:

Dear Tribune Editorial Board,

You will have us all (teachers) drinking Hemlock very soon with the absurd editorials on Education that you publish.

You should interview Nobel Laureate Gary Becker. He spoke for our students yesterday, and he fully supports all of your editorial positions. He is really smart because everything comes out perfectly in his mathematical models. Nothing can exist outside the market. Forget “externalities”!

Will you publish teacher VAM scores?

Everything on your editorial page is right out of George Saunders fiction: we will have robocops who shoot innocents here instead of in Yemen, we will have roboteachers and robograding, robofiremen, and we will have no public sector. Most importantly, we will have no public sector unions. Everyone except the Ivy educated (plus Chicago and Stanford) will make $12 an hour because we (union members) are all too lazy, good for nothing, and shiftless: definitely inferior genetic material.

Your readers on the North Shore are eating your stuff up: teachers are the new PWT (I can say it because this is who I am–Lincoln was too, read Honor’s Voice).

We need Common Core scripted lessons so that the inferior genetic material we are can not mess up learning. This is all eugenics in a different form: science is truth, statistics are truth, the Illinois Policy Institute, the Broad Foundation, and the Joyce Foundation are truth. Truth is privatization, if it is not digital, it has no worth, and rational choice for the one percent is freedom. Nothing else we get comes close.

How did your pages report Mandela and the ANC in 1962? MLK in 56? The big picture pattern that you present has an impact over time. The Rauner-Rahm jingo eats it up almost as much as your future owners who are making you beg for crumbs (Broad or Murdoch?).

You need a good Swiftian kick in the ass every day!

“Serendipity”?

Happy Holidays!

Paul Horton
Chicago History teacher, AFT Local 2063