Trump is busily alienating every ally our nation has.
It has been widely reported that he had a “tough” conversation with the Australian prime minister and hung up 35 minutes before the call was scheduled to end.
Tweeters have been explaining why he hung up, and some of their comments are very funny.
Andy Borowitz, humorist, writes that Trump fired the Acting Attorney General Sally Yates after the Constitution was found on her computer.
Andy Borowitz, humorist for The New Yorker, says that scientists are pondering a medical mystery:
How do Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell manage to stand upright without spines?
If you enjoy the humor of The Onion, this is a good laugh.
Lindsey Graham, Senator from South Carolina, has occasionally stood up to Trump. The consequences?
Thoughts on the recent events in education reform, by our blog Poet:
“The Maestro”
(A brief historical recap for those who have already forgotten — or perhaps never knew)
Chetty played the VAMdolin
At Nobel-chasing speed
Arne played the basket-rim
And Rhee, she played the rheed
Coleman played his Core-o-net
Eva played the lyre
Billy Gates played tete-a-tete
With Duncan and with higher
Sanders* beat his cattle drum
Devalue added model
Pseudo-science weighted sum
Mathturbated twaddle
John King played the slide VAMbone
But Maestro was Obama
Who hired the band and set the tone
For current grizzly drama
*William Sanders, who tweaked his algorithm for modeling cattle growth to model the intellectual growth of students and evaluate teachers.
Alexandra Petri now admits that she did not write the totally accurate description of Donald Trump’s inauguration. She did not admit that the crowd was the largest ever in the history of the world. She failed to acknowledge that A-List singers were competing to see which would be allowed to sing.
That was a day for the history books, also for science fiction and the fantasy section of the book store.
She begins:
Nothing that has ever happened or will ever happen was as great as Donald Trump’s inauguration.
The crowd was magnificent and huge, bigger than any crowd had ever been before! It stretched all the way to the moon. The Pope, who was there, confirmed it.
“Thanks for being here, Pope,” Donald Trump told him.
“Are you kidding? You’re my best friend,” the Pope said. “I wouldn’t miss your big day for anything!” He gave Donald Trump a big high-five.
Everyone in the world had come there at great expense. They sold all their possessions — their homes, their “Hamilton” tickets, which were worthless to them — to raise money to come and see this great sight. They could not believe that a perfect being such as Donald Trump even existed. They thought that he was a myth or a legend or a decades-long series of fabrications.
But then they saw him, and their doubts fell away.
The media was there, too, and they were very sorry. “Donald,” the newscasters said, “we were mean to you. We used to laugh and call you names. We were no better than all of the other reindeer. How can you ever forgive us?”
“Forgive you?” Donald Trump asked. “I’ve already forgotten.” He smiled a big, beautiful smile. That was just who Donald Trump was: forgiving, like Jesus, but blond.
It was a wonderful start to the day.
Before we go any further, let me remind you that “The Onion” is satire. But these days, satire seems to make more sense than the news, since we now know there are””alternate realities” and facts are a matter of opinion.
In this post, Kellyanne Conway apologizes for the lies she tells daily. She says she is just trying to save her father from a curse that was placed in him many years ago.
“Listen, I completely understand why everyone is furious with me. You don’t think that I know there are disgusting, reprehensible, dangerous things coming out of my mouth at all times? That my vile, indefensible words seek only to shelter the nation’s newly installed administration from the slightest shred of accountability? And that I’ve done it all with a self-righteous arrogance that suggests outright contempt for the truth and our nation’s founding principles? Of course I do. I have behaved in ways that defy not only logic and common sense, but also basic human decency. And, deservedly, I have been shamed and criticized and insulted for these actions.
“But answer me truthfully: Who among you wouldn’t do the same exact thing if an evil 400-year-old witch had trapped your father’s eternal soul inside a cursed iron lantern, flickering faintly each time his agonized moans escaped the murky, otherworldly ether that is his prison?”
This is from the Onion. Thanks to Mamie Krupczak Allegretti for posting it.
Mike Pence expressed his dismay at the men who let their wives and daughters march on Saturday.
Humor and art will get us through these next four years. That, and outrage and activism.
Jack Covey is a pseudonym for a teacher in California who comments here often and does prodigious research.
Recently he has been digging into a biofeedback company called Neurocore in which Betsy DeVos has invested millions of dollars. It is based in Grand Rapids, so maybe the owner is a friend or relative. DeVos has said that she will not divest her investment in this company even though there is a clear conflict of interest with the duties of the Secretary of Education.
Jack Covey is convinced that the Brain-enhancement methods of this company are unscientific. He calls it “quack.”
He posted this comment. I recommend the YouTube link to a comedy show I never heard of. I love the bit where “Top researchers warn that dreams can kill you…” I don’t know how Jack comes up with these things. You gotta watch the video.
Jack Covey writes:
“I just thought of another comparison to Neuro-core’s farcical pseudo-science.
“Back in the 1980’s, SCTV did a TV parody of a National Enquirer-based TV show (actually called the “The National Midnight Star” TV Show), and the late John Candy would portray a medical expert or “Top Researcher.”
“Here he is explaining… Dr. Tim-Neurocore-style … how “dreams can kill you”:
(at 00:16 – )
(at 00:16 – )
ANCHORMAN: “Your dreams can kill you, say Top Researchers.”,
TOP RESEARCHER: (graphic reads “Top Researcher”)
“It’s true. Say you were dreaming that you were at a party, and that you’re just wearing … your underwear … or you were running, and you were being chased, but it was real slow because your feet were like lead … and you’ll …
“You’ll probably die.”
A great post by Fred Klonsky about one of Betsy DeVos’s dumbest comments at her Senate hearing. Not even Lamar Alexander could protect her. Also offers some really good advice about how to keep grizzlies out of your school (spoiler alert: doors).
Diane Ravitch's blog 