My friend Kipp Dawson in Pittsburgh sent me this Facebook posting by a teacher who calls himself Les LBL, but from context I assume is Les Williams, a middle-school teacher.
Unfortunately, there are far too many of us who can’t recognize the depression many of us suffer in. The expectations, stress, and demands are far worse than I ever imagined. At the level I teach (middle school), the expectation and pressure that you’re held to control the behavior of some students who obviously and sometimes not so obviously have social, emotional and mental and family challenges that make classroom learning a far-off secondary priority are at its highest with the least bit of support.
Everywhere I have taught I have found great and inspirational educators and great students who want to learn. Unfortunately, due to the shifting of challenges once shared by teachers, students, parents, and adminstrators, that has now fallen squarely on the shoulders of teachers, it makes the day to day struggle difficult and the future seem bleak, and many of us who are upbeat, charismatic, passionate, fun-loving, inspired and hopeful people have slowly changed into shell-shocked, beaten-down, tired humans who are soul-searching and trying to find a glimmer of hope at the end of a vaguely colored rainbow.
I still love teaching but the way it’s structured today, it certainly isn’t as fun as it used to be, and the more creative and passionate one is about learning and teaching truths, the more you are under attack and scrutinized in your profession.
Teaching shouldn’t be so combative between adults. Kids, I understand, lol, but between adults? Please. Definitely not only does each student and teacher deserve better but all of my family deserves better.
At the end of the day my wife Nikia N Williams just wants her best friend and husband to share quality time and be by her side each night, and my children just want their goofy dad who inspires, encourages, laughs with them and listens to them each day I come home. Too many days they get an exhausted, saddened but hopeful, loving father who wonders if their school days could be as uninspiring and negative as some of my daily experiences are. It’s really unfair to all parties.
My wife hates hearing about most of my school experiences because so many are negative or have a negative impact on my career and subsequently our immediate and future financial health. My wife has to delicately balance my children’s experiences with listening to mine and try to manage to stay positive herself- a tough chore in this social and political climate.
Many teachers are depressed not only with their own current situations but with the doomsday direction our education system is headed through. To me, I am a revolutionary so I’ll keep fighting but that doesn’t make it any easier. I wish many of my friends would not so much as say, “I gotta give it to you, I couldn’t do that,” or “these parents and kids today . . .” and instead say, “oh, now I understand how all of this is connected to all of our presents and futures, how can I help?” I’d say become more informed and become active because even if you have no children, today’s students still are tomorrow’s future.
My resolutions are to still try to find that line which allow me to leave a lot of stress and negativity at work day’s end and bring home only smiles, listening ears, hugs, positivity, laughs, loving support and quality time to my family. Thanks.

Les is a friend of mine and a very passionate educator. He speaks for so many of us.
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Our unions, NEA and AFT have bought the neo-liberal line that the market will fix everything because they get a payoff in terms of money and a “seat at the table.” This is incredibly stupid and it’s not what unions are supposed to do and be. It’s obvious to teachers that have gone through what Les describes here, that we’ve been sold out. Diane Ravitch has a platform that receives national exposure but she refuses to say anything against this betrayal. Crying on each others shoulders gets us just this far and no farther.
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We all wish for joy and uplift in our teaching careers. I have been very negative and angry about the reform movement from the moment it started harming my teaching friends and undermining my faith in myself. Admittedly, my anger has blinded me to the possibilities digging down deep for the joy that still exists in my job.
A year or two ago, I told an administrator in my building that under current conditions, a teaching career leaves almost no time for family, friends, hobbies, exercise, or worship.
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I’m retired and miss teaching so much. I became disabled and had to leave the classroom ten years ago at age 55. I keep up with what’s occurring today through my grandson, former colleagues, and informative sites such as this one. My friends who are still teaching have said that if I hadn’t left I would have been fired or in a mental facility. I believe them.
I say this to tell those of you are still fighting the good fight that many, many people want to support you the best we can. We appreciate what you’ve continued to do for our children and our futures. I taught the governor of our state in English and speech classes. He asked if I told people I taught him all he knows. I said, “I tell them that I taught you how to speak, but it’s a shame I didn’t teach you what to say.” Needless to say, I didn’t get invited to his inauguration! The point is that they know how we feel, but we’re not the billionaires who control them. That’s depressing, too. The best hope we have is to get as many friends and supporters as possible to vote and to speak truth to power.
In the meantime, know how much you are appreciated by those of us who care.d
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Still waiting for Carmen to “bring the joy back.”
Not holding my breath
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Les, your willingness to keep on fighting, your hope amid despair, is certainly inspiring. As a 12th grade teacher I have a great deal of respect for educators who work in middle school. I taught 8th grade years ago and it was not easy. Sadly, it seems that some of the worst “deformer” attacks (in New York State at least ) have been on educators and students in middle school. Some people I know who teach ELA come immediately to mind. It’s all been particularly tough on them.
Public school teachers are doing something incredible, though, when you think about it. In an age when machines are taking control of more and more human work and decision-making, educators remain very much involved with direct, human relationships -face to face.
I think about commercial airline pilots…I’ve read more than once that it’s really computers that are flying those giant aircraft for most the flight. Or, consider the last time you called some big corporation and had to navigate a seemingly endless maze of button pushing trying to get an actual human on the line. Not so at my public school. There is no computer running the operation and within a few seconds you’d have one of our great secretaries on the line -if not a teacher or principal.
Of course, there is a tsunami of technological change sweeping over our society. But some of us are still standing there on the beach, so to speak -very much rooted in the very messy, wonderfully chaotic world that is humankind. Cue Bjork’s great song, “Human Behavior” which comes to mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDbPYoaAiyc
To quote Bjork: :There’s definitely, definitely, definitely no logic to human behavior But yet so, yet so irresistible.” (Though Bjork was writing more from an imagined animal’s perspective than a machine’s.)
Bill Gates and company keep throwing their billion dollar algorithms at our schools. But what they just don’t want to admit, Les, is that it is very passionate (ie. human) people like you who make those schools a success, helping our very real kids.
Keep up the good fight!
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Thank you.
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Les, keep up the good fight but try, try, try to see your home and family as a refuge. I see everyday that I work that while the big cause may be lost, we are saving some of the little causes and we have to keep trying but not at the expense of our sanity and our families.
I have said this before and I will say it again, I would have been traumatized when I was a little girl to have been in the class with some of my students. It was a different time a long time ago and I will do whatever I am allowed to do to keep my grandchild out of a similar situation.
Until the public begins to value children this situation will continue. It’s a shame kids can’t vote. Things would surely turn around then.
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It was helpful to me to read this post to know I am not alone. My patient spouse listens to me talk about local and national education issues every single day. My students have suffered, as more of my time is taken away from creative lesson planning and from actual teaching and directed toward meetings, standardization, unnecessary professional development, programs by trendy consultants, surveys, endless curriculum discussions, test prep and tests, and other time-draining requirements. What of me is left for my own children? I give them what remains. Almost nothing is left for my own personal health. But it is important for teachers to speak up about policy decisions. So many teachers and retirees simply remain silent. Our voice might be heard if more of us spoke.
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I think the hardest part is not being able to make enough money to take a vacation or enjoy myself. I sometimes can’t even afford to take a yoga class. So sometimes I just take a sick day to relax.
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Ignorance is bliss, though.
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We used to call those “mental health days”. Our administrators, all of whom had been teachers themselves, understood totally and even recommended taking one when we were obviously over stressed.
Nowadays, many of the admins don’t have that prior experience or, if they do, they are being pressured by their bosses not to allow that kind of “indulgence”. Sick days are for just that. Personal days must be made weeks in advance. You’re looked at with suspicion if you take either.
Nose to the grindstone. Work isn’t work if it’s fun.
Ugh.
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Thank you for writing this and expressing what thousands of us feel. Keep fighting because the tide is turning! Your fellow colleagues, parents and administrators that haven’t sold out are fighting too. Class action lawsuits are being filed, corruption is being exposed. Many of our colleagues may or may not have their reputations restored but they WILL be vindicated.
I was bitter for a long time there but began to fight back and become a stronger more vocal advocate and I’ve built coalitions with students, parents and other teachers that give me the support to keep going. I refuse to accept the corporate distortion of reality. I accept that I can remind these corporate criminals that fascism never prevails for long and many of us, working and retired, will fight for what’s right for schools and children everywhere.
Yes, our unions have sold out but even they see that the privateers bite the hands that feed them. I have a feeling this generation is going to make itself known and rebuild this dysfunctional society. I suggest that they start with us baby boomers. For a start, school boards should consist of at least 50% under 40 years of age. Why don’t school boards get a fair chance at seeing what “disruption” looks and feels like? It’s only fair.
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“. . . what thousands of us feel.what thousands of us feel.”
Probably more like thousands of thousands.
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You just have to shut it off. My wife does not want to hear it anymore. There is little to do to change it. What could an individual do in Nazi Germany or in Soviet Russia? It is a similar dynamic. It’s dangerous to talk freely at school. People whisper with a few trusted colleagues. You have to go where they can’t listen to you. There are cameras and microphones everywhere (but not in classrooms yet) It’s becoming much like “1984”. You can also watch “The Man in the High Tower” if you want to get the gist of what teaching is like now. Even my brighter students seem to get this.
You have to go home, play with your kids and pretend that they will have a better future that you had. It seems more and more unlikely…It is depressing, but it’s not fun when an empire collapses, is it?
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I try to disassociate myself from teaching. It becomes the practiced professionalism and formulaic empathy those in the medical field must master or be consumed. Yes, I want to help students. But me, the teacher is in the classroom, not me the person. I deliver the best experience I can. The public wants us teachers to become involved in the lives of our students and sacrifice a piece of ourselves each year. Yet the public values teachers less each year and educators are blamed for every ill in society, while humiliated by VAM and demonized as lazy and incompetent.
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To all conscientious educators:
Please be a player in any game like soccer, football, basketball, hockey…do not be a ball or a hockey puck.
Educator is NOT ONLY the best intelligent human being, but also is a cultivator, a teacher who has mastered the art of shaping young learners’ mind.
As a result, true player will never follow the ball, but CONTROL it. In the same vein, the true educator will not follow BAD or CORRUPTED order, but will CONTROL and MASTER the order in his/her own creative talent.
It is easy said than done for most followers. However, being a leader, true educator shall adhere their own spirit to sharpen young learners’ body, mind and spirit, as well as their own body, mind and spirit. As a result, both educators and learners will create the best teaching-learning environment within his/her classroom.
Flexible and adaptable skills are the name of the game in dealing with witchy/vile order from corrupted administrators. Keep teaching what is the best for learners, and keep OPTING OUT all invalid test schemes.
Please remember that we control our own destiny. The state of being happy or miserable belongs to our control mind. Life is within a breath. Young learners will detect educators’ joyful or saddened breath. Please breathe with joy, and be confident of educators’ intelligence and mastered skills in teaching. Back2basic
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Well…..maybe.
Your comments, m4potw, remind me of what a friend of mine, a great teacher, used to tell me repeatedly years ago. It’s that “be in the moment, mindfulness, meditation” thing, I guess.
I’d get upset at yet another inane new administrative memo or mindless waste of an in-service day. And, my friend would turn to me and say things like, “You can control your reactions not other peoples actions” or “Be here now” or…..whatever.
But, you know, I’ve just never had the patience for that mindfulness stuff, m4pots. Because in my mind I just keep coming back to the thought that all the pissed off teachers should join together and do something. Like drive in our cars, this morning, to Albany or New Castle or whatever deep cave where Gov. Andrew Cuomo roosts and demand that he do something… RIGHT NOW.
So, it’s not you, m4potw, it’s me. LOL. Cue Howard Beale from “Network”: “I’m as made as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!”
BTW…that wonderful colleague of mine, a teacher I respected so much, ended up retiring early. I guess it just became too much for her. I remember there was a fistfight between two big high school guys in her class one day. That might have been the beginning of the end. I miss her still.
It sure is “easier said than done” as you wrote!
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I’m past the self-blame, mountaintop meditation phase. I am at the angry, screw the system phase. If America does not value its teachers, it gets the education system it deserves. As long as Stupid and Crazy set education policy as in our state, then the system becomes a barrier to learning. I hold out hope, however, parents and the more rational members of society begin to realize the destruction Reformers are inflicting on our children and hold these people fully accountable.
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“I still love teaching but the way it’s structured today, it certainly isn’t as fun as it used to be, and the more creative and passionate one is about learning and teaching truths, the more you are under attack and scrutinized in your profession.”
Well said and one of the reasons I retired after 34 years. I also just couldn’t take what it was doing to kids.
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“Datamining Vermin”
The datamining vermin
Purport to judge “The Best”
Delivering a sermon
On wonders of the test
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“Datamining VAMmen”
Six of one, a half dozen of the other
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“My resolutions are to still try to find that line which allow me to leave a lot of stress and negativity at work day’s end and bring home only smiles, listening ears, hugs, positivity, laughs, loving support and quality time to my family. Thanks.”
Well said. I’m in the same boat and working hard at correcting it. Can’t tell you how much I can relate to this.
I remember reading a speech by one of our state legislators, here in New York. She was saying that our new educators must carry a passion with them that is willing to sacrifice friends and family.
Words, words, words. Platitudes. Soundbites. Talk the talk but with no walk (at all).
Sacrificing that which we love makes us that much less loving. It takes away the very thing that makes the difference between a good teacher and a great one. Too many people think in separate absolutes. They don’t pay attention to the overlaps. Both in teachers and students.
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It has all gotten really bad. I can’t be self righteous because I am retiring next year. I type this as I sit at my desk in my classroom on a Sunday evening. The worst part of it all is that it wears you down a little bit more each day until you feel like a shell of yourself. I take B vitamins for stress, and I pray all the time. I am teaching with 4 new teachers this year, and they are all very discouraged. They do not even want to come back after Thanksgiving. The deformers are all constantly looking for new hoops to jump through…but, honestly, I am positive that there will be a day that they will find few people to jump through their silly hoop. I love Diane’s blog, and I am so THANKFUL on this Thanksgiving weekend that I found her! God Bless all of you!
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God bless you, Sad Teacher.
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God Bless you too, Montana teacher. We all thank God for Diane’s blog. Diane is amazing, and she has helped me cope these last years of teaching. My heart goes out to all of our young teachers. Prayers to you too, Montana teacher…. (:
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Les LBL is my brother. He is a good and inspirational teacher, but the difficulties he encounters are, as he says, similar to those of many teachers who are expected to march in lockstep to an ideology that does not work on behalf of student learning.
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